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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Today Mrs. Canecutter and I took a drive and dropped by a friend's Yoga/Jewelry/kinda shop where she lets me sell my cartoons, or at least the ones that don't include cussin/drankin/smokin/fightin type things. Every couple of months it's worth a run out there to restock and harvest a little paycheck. This time, we're talking, and BAM I take a gut check. "Sorry, I gotta hit the bathroom, like, now." Storeowner is from South America and she knows exactly what's up, points me down the hall. Men's room is locked. One stall women's room. So I identify with my X chromosome and leap inside. What follows next is the experience of being a Golden Corral soft-serve dispenser as a field-trip's worth of middle schoolers takes turns hanging on the lever, then start coming back for more. It's a rope. Halfway through, some dude tries to get in the bathroom. Nah. I am not moving and leaving a slug-trail of butt-goo in this carpeted building. Takes forever and uses a ton of paper. Three flushes and there's still a chunk on the back of the bowl. I have claimed this toilet for the King of Spain. I get back and the women are looking at bracelets. Much ribaldry. I start to talk, pivot, and sprint back. Fast work this time, I just blast a little consommé and done. Chunky speck is still there after fourth flush. If we had been on the road, even 5 minutes from an empty stall, woulda been baaaaad, man.
  2. I am glad you added that last word. My health-inspector bro-in-law tells me that dedicated hot dog joints are actually the cleanest places he sees. When I visit Mexico and eat street dogs, I am the picture of health. Eat at the "nice" places down there? Shitting out earwax and toenails.
  3. Maybe you just like three-week-old shredded carrots?
  4. Galofaro's seen some shit.
  5. Your Inner Dos Equis Man got you this result.
  6. If you ain't first you're last.
  7. It's even better when you're in the little consultation room and you hear them talking about you through the door. I got cancer, bro, I'm not deaf.
  8. I recommend an actual old-timey percolator for making coffee. We hit on this after eventually breaking all other, more "advanced" devices. Much smoover coffee. Also, maybe try making cafe de olla. Basically boiled in a cooking pot with loose grounds, and some cinnamon. You scoop it out with a ladle. These two take a little time. Just start em up before you get in the shower. Then, yeah, I guess put em inside something cool, and you're good.
  9. No. I prefer small simple rooms to remind me of my roots, like how Attila the Hun still ate off wooden plates while his generals wallowed in gold. Never occurred to me to tip anybody at front desk. But don't hang out at Vegas either. Anybody who pushes a broom or swabs the bathroom for me, yeah, they get tipped + a thank you note.
  10. The only reason Subway folks aren't being tarred and feathered is because we're still working on the Arby's ones.
  11. Went in to UAB Kirkland Clinic for labs. A lot of people on the 5th Floor, you can tell they aren't handling news well. They're in that spot where it's like you were minding your business and got doused with ice water. All you can do is nod to them. Got my numbers back. After a long slow skid, they got better. Not perfect, but about 10% better. May you and yours do so as well.
  12. You complement me, sir. I am way too riffraff for the likes of them.
  13. I get the general point, but just wanna point out that sinking a million into something that might make a big 200 thousand, when the price goes up and down, means that company will always be a couple of years from its next crisis. My goblin overlords insist that I go for things that make at least 200% profit over costs, not 20%.
  14. Well at least you're doing stuff. Me I got lazy and quit exercising.
  15. First time I had some bad numbers, was able to get them back in line by lots of little walks.
  16. I've got $5 on the rednecks. They can't catch the Teslas, but they can ram the charging stations.
  17. Talking about post ww1-- the Communists and the Nazis hated each other... until they signed a treaty to split Poland, then the Germans barely had to keep anybody in the east while they hit all their western neighbors.
  18. In the 30s that was the French and British plan for dealing with the Germans and Soviets.
  19. That's not far off for some of those old-school Greek and Latin classes. In the 90s I was lucky enough to take a couple that would have been right at home in the 1890s. We'd take our turns translating lines of Lysias, and then it'd be instant verb analysis: person, number, tense, mood, bam bam bam. We got to be Forrest Gump reassembling that rifle. I lived this all across muddy-ass Gaul:
  20. Maybe it's more like Dunlendings resenting the influx of Haradrim and Easterlings. huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu [milk out nose]
  21. ALL WOULD FALL INTO DISORDER. (Actually not sure if they do that much anymore. The best language learning technique, the one that works, is to get drunk with someone you find attractive who only speaks the target language.) But me yeah I love to get an overview of the verb system. Same reason I prefer a militaristic Anglican church service to some lah-dee-dah-dee non-denominational snooze-fest-- Johnnie Froggy's not backing down until we back him down... Wait for it... WAIT for it... Conjugate! Amo Amas Ama Amamos Amáis [panic among the recruits--"we never learned the vosotros form, we--" "SHUT yer bleedin gobs and SAY IT."] Aman
  22. I just had three eggs. Now off to dive into the vault of gold coins.
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