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Horn Under a Bad Sign

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Everything posted by Horn Under a Bad Sign

  1. The story is even better! A 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth over 3 million dollars on Friday night, but showed up to work anyway on Monday to deliver one last package. The courier company had no idea of her winnings. “I knew something was wrong because I came back from lunch and the door to my office was closed,” said the manager. I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”  Facebook Twitter Pinterest “It was worth it,” the woman said on arrest. “On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s shit for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”
  2. What do you think Trump's nickname for Rick Scott will be? It's got to be something that references Scott's skin color while at the same time plausibly (however improbably) a description of something else.
  3. These mass shootings are so common that this one, in Utah back in January, didn't even warrant mentioning in this thread at the time: https://nypost.com/2023/01/16/obit-praises-utah-dad-michael-haight-who-killed-wife-5-kids/ TLDR: Utah man kills his wife, mother-in-law, and five kids before shooting himself. Obituary doesn't mention, you know, that, but instead talks about how he was leader in everything he did, an Eagle Scout etc... Family later releases statement in favor of gun rights and starts a GoFundMe with a photo that shows Jesus standing with the family in place of the murderer. https://www.gofundme.com/f/gail-earl-and-the-tausha-haight-family?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_content=undefined&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer&utm_term=undefined
  4. My favorite was Brad Raffensberger. Republicans can't stand it when a fellow Republican does his job.
  5. All of these folks sanctioned by Putin. Crime? Hurting Donald Trump's feelings:
  6. I guess in Georgia now you can see an MD over a Zoom call for five minutes in the comfort of your home and qualify for a medical marijuana card.
  7. So he is still alive ... and getting better? I truly hope he recovers all the way then pops into this thread by posting the "I'm not dead yet" scene from Holy Grail. Come on, MAC!!! You can do this, man!!!
  8. GQP congressman from New York lectures voters about reckless spending while renting an 80k luxury car at taxpayer expense. The hypocrisy isn't a bug, it's a feature. https://www.dailyfreeman.com/2023/05/17/dutchess-audit-critical-of-molinaro-for-75-8k-luxury-vehicle-lease-while-he-was-county-executive/?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_content=tw-dailyfreeman&fbclid=IwAR1pYyUbfWUoX2FXnYS4YrMICZzf3lBEDhbCrnH4dtrbjVbBCbHV5nMcHqA
  9. 10 billion dollars --- fully 1/3rd of the budget surplus --- doled out by the Texas GOP to private corporate interests. They weren't even given time to read it. All for the natural gas power plants that will contribute to the global warming that our children and grandchildren will curse us for. Meanwhile, Texas school teachers are having to work second jobs to make ends meet.
  10. Nothing stops a good guy in an apron like a 12-year-old with an AR-15. However, I won't know whether to grieve this or not until I know the immigration status of the shooter and Angel Gomez.
  11. Comer: "The Biden crime syndicate was so successful it left no evidence."
  12. Either your five year old is exceptionally verbally adroit and has a high degree of verbal acuity or my five-year-old nephew needs a crash course in word usage and grammar.
  13. What consistently staggers me is how quickly A&M takes seemingly good coaches like Schlossnagel and turns them into mediocre coaches. It happens over and over and over again. Franchione goes 10-3 at Alabama, gets to A&M, and loses 77-0 in his first season.
  14. Fortunately for those Hollywood ghouls, there's no shortage of frightened children these days.
  15. Could you explain this to me like I am five years old?
  16. Nothing that the entire states of Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, the entire deep south and Texas haven't taught him or, on the obverse, that the entire countries of England or Australia haven't taught him. You can't teach a man whose argument hinges on him not learning.
  17. Denying being the informant sounds exactly like what the informant would say.
  18. You got political fan fiction out of this? All I was trying to do was emphasize the fact that Allred should use the word "football" 217 times in any debate, being that football is right up there with Jesus and brisket as talismans that represent Texas values while at the same time making oblique fun of Ted's pudgy, non-football body.
  19. It would be lower were there no guns.
  20. Wade Searle, a Congressional staffer who works for Paul Gosar, is apparently a right-wing racist and follower of Nick Fuentes. Every one of these chucklefucks should be exposed for the toxic haters they are. https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/paul-gosar-nick-fuentes-staffer-wade-searle
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