The aggy idiot (is that redundant?) who tried the ill-fated lateral was John Brotherton of Mineola. Played against him. Bad dude. Lots of muscle. Most of it between his ears. Obviously.
They're big humans running into each other at speed--classic application of the impulse-momentum formula. You can't bubble-wrap 'em; some of the above has to be expected. All we can hope for is that it's kept to a minimum and that truly key personnel are spared.
"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word." --Professor Irwin Corey
Or, put in context, "You go ahead and coach up the 3-stars; I'll take the 5-stars every time."
Worse even, we'll be blessed with Holly Porcine Rowe for yet another season--hell, for all I know we'll be stuck with her for eternity and beyond. My fucking eyes will bleed. Again.
My gal don't go for smokin'
And liquor just makes her flinch
Seems she just goes for nothin'
Except my big ten inch
Record of a band that plays the blues
Well, the band that play the blues
She just love my big ten inch
Record of her favorite blues
--For you newbies, the original is Bull Moose Jackson; Aerosmith covered it word-for-word.
Your dad's got a good memory. A 1957 radio jingle proclaimed: "What's the word? Thunderbird / How's it sold? Good and cold / What's the jive? 'Bird's alive / What's the price? Thirty twice."
Good workaround if you want to read the full article:
Add "archive.ph/" before the url.
It'll read: archive.ph/https://www.espn.com/college-football/insider/story/_/id/38115407/connelly-college-football-ifs-list-contenders-georgia-alabama-ohio-state-michigan-lsu
Follow resulting instructions.
“Now, Manziel isn't even remotely the first NFL player to blow a million-to-one chance to star in America's favorite game . . . Even nerdy Browns linebacker Myles Garrett was suspended indefinitely in 2019 after trying to behead a Pittsburgh Steeler with a helmet.”
Didn't they both play college ball at . . . at . . . no, don't tell me, I'll get it in a minute . . .