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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. As I understand, the only item we are authorized to send is a wreath. We have a fund for that.
  2. Oh, oh! I know this one! "Child rape is God's will. Take it up with Him." What did I win? I mean, it's a Baptist church, so I probably didn't win a bottle of good bourbon. They HAVE it of course, they just keep it hidden.
  3. There's never a bad time to chase something that will make you better, and feel better about yourself. And there's no feeling better than catching that thing you've been chasing. Congratulations. And fuck yes, HOOK 'EM.
  4. Do NOT go looking on urban dictionary for "so she gave me the old leaking Latvian toilet."
  5. Man. When I was younger, I mostly had a Dryas. But now, I really can't trust a fart.
  6. Nope. Debasing won't get you that. Payola will.
  7. What I love is that the fucking moron can't figure out the correlation between relative population size and wealth/prosperity/public health. As populations progress, it results in (1) lower mortality and (2) longer lifespan. White folks (Europeans) didn't see massive population growth until they had enough stability and prosperity to not starve to death, to support more children, and to have those children survive (instead of dying from malnutrition, dirty water, etc.). More folks survived, and they lived longer -- voila, larger population. Europe was on the front edge of that phase of human development. Now, other (non-white) areas are catching up. In much of Africa, and asia, and latin america....kids don't die young. They live into old age. So, growing population, which - because percentage is literally a relative thing - means that their percentage of human population is going up, necessarily meaning that the percentage of other populations (Euros) is going down, relatively speaking. The problem is that Africans and Asians aren't dropping dead the way they used to. So, I can see why Elmo is distressed by that.
  8. What amazes me is how these fucking morons never get it. All that constant sucking on Trump's dick will get you is a gut full of rancid jizz, without even a thank you. "Could you hand me that towel to wipe up, sir? Sir? Where are you going?" Debasing yourself is stupid. Debasing yourself for no fucking reason in the end is MAGA-stupid.
  9. I submitted my report to APD. I expect them to get right on it. They already sent me this acknowledgment:
  10. Disappointed Surlyites: "I signed up to bang old Latvian women. How in the fuck am I supposed to figure out how to fix a leaking Latvian toilet or install a new heater? Their 'lectric plugs don't even look right."
  11. Way to tell us you're not a sheep.
  12. She's kinda awesome because . . . yeah, she's got it going on. And, she gives ZERO fucks. That level of coolness is always worth some extra points.
  13. My ethnic group is arguably the perfect American group....because we're so fucking stupid. A Republican candidate could yell repeatedly "I'm a badass macho motherfucker, and I'm going to make sure my administration executes every dirty hispanic - every last one, no exceptions - currently in the United States," and he'd win 40%+ of the hispanic vote because he's a tough badass who tells it like it is, and anyway, I'm sure he means OTHER hispanics, not me.
  14. Blah blah blah....so you're saying she's available now?
  15. I could rationalize bumping it up one level, and would probably like that too, but then, I don't eat as spicy as I used to.
  16. Fine, FINE....I'll run already. Sheesh.
  17. Huh. We should probably send in some advisors. And dust off our Creedence records.
  18. Ashamed to admit that I have yet to try Gus's.
  19. Was at a lunch yesterday where someone brought a box of bone-in fried chicken for Tumble22, spice level "hot." It was damned near perfect. Spice level was just right -- had a bite, but not distracting or overwhelming (yeah, yankees and euros might sweat and complain, but most Texans should be able to handle it with no problem). Perfectly cooked and crispy, nice big pieces. I was genuinely impressed, and it's some of the best fried chicken I've had in Austin. I may get the bone-in next time we go to T22.
  20. Would that I were as handsome as Rummy.... Seems we have a similar disposition, though.
  21. Y'all didn't know I was the great and powerful Oz, did ya?
  22. I mean, my wife and I were on our way back from our photo shoot anyway…
  23. So…literally came across this at a nearby HEB. My vehicle is white. I took damage both low, and a light black stripe that matches up perfectly with the mirror. But…I think the damage on his car is a bit lower than the main damage on mine.
  24. Guarantee all of them scream “you gotta follow the law!” in their support for nabbing illegals. Understand that “the rule of law” is whatever Trump says and wants, nothing else.
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