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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. Two motherfucking fantastic tunes.
  2. So…story. Young attorney Brisket was having a whiskey with old mentor attorney. We got to talking cool obituaries, and how neither of us was likely to accomplish anything meaningful enough to make for a cool obituary. Our only shot would be to try for the “beloved local character/eccentric” angle. But how? What’s something you could do, and be known for, so it would be noteworthy in a good way. I’ve got it. I’m gonna go to the bank and get $100 in $2 bills, and I’m going to pay for EVERYTHING with $2 bills. So when I die, they’ll say “local eccentric two dollar Brisket passes away.” We decide this is brilliant. I get the money first thing the next day. We go to lunch, I peel off some of my twos to pay. The waiter says “huh, been to the Yellow Rose?” We’re a bit puzzled. “Yeah, when they give you change, they give you $2s so you’ll tip more.” “No, I haven’t been to the Rose.” Next day, we go grab drinks after work. To pay, I peel off some of my twos….”huh, been to the Rose have you?” Goddammit. I wanted to be “beloved local eccentric two dollar Brisket,” not “skeezy strip club Brisket.” The plan was quickly abandoned.
  3. 100% She has a goal. She will do what it takes to achieve that goal. It's about the goal, not about her. I remember years ago, relating a story of a pre-trial event to my wife (the judge went off on me, it was performative, I happened to be the lawyer up front when the judge decided it was time for the message. I took my berating, and then used it to my advantage. And no, I didn't do a damned thing wrong and didn't deserve it, it was just time for the judge to do that). My wife was outraged, she said she'd have told the judge off, etc. I laughed. I reminded her that I had one job: achieve a good result FOR MY CLIENT. If letting the judge call me a piece of shit 10X a day gets me across the finish line with a win, fuckin' a, print me a name tag that says "piece of shit." Oh, and it worked -- judge and I had an understanding after that, and things went quite well. Rational, strategic adults think that way. It ain't about her, it's about her goal.
  4. Continuing over-the-top violations of the Hatch Act. From the party of "law and order." What a fucking joke. And all of the "WE HAFTA ENFORCE OUR LAWS!" types around here will be 100% fine with this because, of course, it has never, ever, EVER been about the Rule of Law. It has only been about Wilhoit's law: Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect. Republicans get to use "the law" to brutalize whoever they want. But they never, not even in the slightest, need to follow the law. Republicans don't believe in the law. They just believe in being fucking assholes.
  5. She's playing her cards. You are the leader of the Venezuelan opposition. You don't have the resources to depose Maduro. There is mercurial, childish man with a fragile ego to your north who has AMPLE resources to assist your cause. And he fucking LOVES him some flattery. Shit, talk about how his brilliant handling of Venezuela thus far is surely a sign that he is a capable and impressive lover, whatever it takes. Play the cards you've got, and "play to Trump's ego" is a big fat Ace.
  6. "Enlarged to show texture".....a decent pitch for bocadillos para perros, but a TERRIBLE tag line for porn.
  7. If their name is Charlize Theron, the Brisketexan Policy of She Can have Asylum at my House is in full effect. It was in an executive order, I'm sure of it.
  8. I mean, do you even eat at gas stations, bro?
  9. How could we possibly know?
  10. Just another "Kavanaugh Stop." Nothing to see here, move along.
  11. It's not what they realize or don't, it's whether they can play the constantly aggrieved card. To be the world's biggest "alpha male," that simpering little bitch boy whines and moans more than any fucking human who has ever existed. Only in MAGA world can the biggest whimpering, whining, tittybaby bitchboy be an "alpha male." I've taken runny dumps more alpha than that pussy-ass crybaby cunt.
  12. I've said it before, I'll say it again....we wouldn't be in this fucking mess if Senator Blutarsky was still in office.
  13. I'da had more respect for them if they just sold them as "meat chunks."
  14. That pastor lionized and loves him some Charlie Kirk. But no racism there, no sir. Just ask @Enchubben
  15. But we all agree that the Babylonian captivity really wasn't all that bad as "captivities" go, right? And "Babylon," by David Gray, was a pretty damned fine song.
  16. My wife was out of town for a week at a retreat. When she got home, there were 10 boxes and large envelopes stacked on her side of the table. I probably order 10 items per year.
  17. Yeah. I was doing all that too. But then the alarm went off on the fryer, and the manager was all up in my shit because we had like 12 orders backed up in the drive thru.
  18. This. Anyone who purports to be in favor of long-term peace in the region should brave themselves for that reality. The number of people capable of working for a peaceful coexistence has gone way down. The number of people whose hearts are hardened to a near-genocidal level of hatred has skyrocketed. The future in the region is likely very, very dark.
  19. We have reached the point where "everything's gotta have AI!" I'm surprised I can buy a box of cereal without it having a sticker on there that says "NOW FEATURING AI!!!!" No matter the industry, product, or project, YOU GOTTA GET YOUR DIP-TET!!! DO YOU HAVE YOUR DIP-TET??? It's not problem-identification, then evaluate the full slate of potential solutions (which might include AI for some). It's "here's a cool new thing! Apply it everywhere!" Layer onto the the outright scam of the circular investment/purchases that is AI capex....fucking hell.
  20. When we walked through the lobby of the Venetian this past weekend on the way to brunch, it was clogged with people with their phones out, taking videos. My wife and I were puzzled -- videos of what? They were all recording the fake "italian" ceiling paintings. WTF?
  21. It started in 2016. Things that Trump wants: adulation, praise, money, a Nobel Peace Prize, to be able to fuck Ivanka. All of those things except Ivanka have been used to manipulate Trump into certain postions. The Saudis and Qataris have used a mix of money and adulation/praise, for example. Zelensky is, as we speak, dangling a path to a Nobel Peace Prize in front of Trump to try to get him to give them Tomahawks. Putin manipulated him for years with money, and then fear (fear is a great motivator for a narcissist). And the list goes on. Now, if your concern is that not much of that manipulation has lined up with the interests of the United States, well.....the interest of the United States ain't got nothin' to do with shit. I'm just telling you that plenty of actors have manipulated him and continue to do so.
  22. Oh, I know -- @Pescado_Rojo and I have discussed in the past, he's all over it. It's just a classic fucking circular scam.
  23. Here's the thing: his thesis is not wrong. When you are dealing with a pathetic, lizard-brained fool who is motivated by rewards (and he defines what rewards matter to him -- in this case, he's made one such reward quite clear), manipulating him by dangling the prospect of that reward in front of him is an elementary tactic. Fuck, if you are involved in a situation involving conflict, dangling "dude, if you pull this off, you should TOTALLY get the Peace Prize" in front of him is a fucking no-brainer. He is incredibly manipulable. Sure, you have to be in a position where you have, or can present a path to, something he wants. I'm sure that if there was a state actor out there who had cloned Ivanka into a sex slave, they'd have a good play as well. But if you have or can help deliver something he wants (not for the greater good, or anything like that, mind you - remember, we're talking about a narcissist, so it's only about things he wants for himself), then you can fucking play him. And you'd be dumb not to.
  24. Personally, I love that Band of Racists, USA, feels like it has to run an "All American Halftime Show" as COUNTER-programming for a halftime show featuring.....an American. Gosh. The issue can't be that he's not an American. What, oh WHAT could it possibly be? But remember, Turning Point USA isn't racist, right @Enchubben?
  25. Oh, I don’t think there’s any argument at this point that Oklahoma is better-led than Texas. And Oklahoma is a fucking clown show.
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