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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. Yeah, Ashley. Those aren't your only two options. You've already engaged in sex for money. It's not like you'd be breaking new ground.
  2. "All penises are detachable." - Lorena Bobbitt
  3. Yeah, they never even broke those out. But they were quite amused by the "Texas-shaped crisps" we had at dinner the night they arrived. They VERY quickly developed a strong affection for HEB and Trader Joe's (man....chicks love Trader Joe's).
  4. Correct. These were....mediocre. But good enough.
  5. Dude. Do you even cop? EVERYTHING justifies the use of force.
  6. Which works out super-great for us, because the American voter is dumber than a box of rocks.
  7. Yo tambien. And almost literally in the exact same sort of location as PR jr. Window looked out on the stadium, maybe 150 yards away. It was indeed an easy "commute" home after numbing myself blind with booze watching McWilliams teams "play football."
  8. If it happens, you won’t hear about it. The regime will just declare it didn’t happen.
  9. 9/11 killed a shitload fewer Americans than Trump’s shitty COVID response…as just one example.
  10. So, you now know what we look like when we’re posting….
  11. I love the quasi-reenactment of the Faith+1 album cover. The whole thing just screams “authentic” and totally not “self-important posers,” no sir.
  12. Yep. Translation: the FBI apparently needs someone with actual experience and skills to run it. And the two meme-lords in charge weren’t that.
  13. Huh. I had caribou filet mignon once, and it may have been the best piece of game meat I've ever had.
  14. One hopes that in the afterlife, he encounters....Pussy Galore.
  15. I mean, the No Gestapo in Bastropo fucking dipshit morons were actually onto something with their W "Miss me yet?" shirts, they just tied them to the wrong goddamned president. Go back in time. Look at that picture, as you looked at it when it first came out. Now, imagine future you stepping into the room, and telling you "oh....yeah....here's the thing. Shit gets SO much dumber than this." You'd have thought that future you was high on crack and meth combined after suffering a horrific TBI. How could it POSSIBLY get dumber than this?
  16. Yeah, the moose out front shoulda told y'all that. I mean, he probably would have....if mooseoutfront hadn't already dropped him with a solid heart shot.
  17. Seriously. Our POTUS is using the "phone a friend" option when he gets stumped.....except the friend is actually our enemy. This fucking timeline.
  18. Your burger prices? Shooting up at a 28% annual rate of inflation since Trump took office. Your can of beer? About to shoot up a good bit. Veggies (I know, you don't eat 'em, veggies are for commies)? Up 38% wholesale in one month. Man, all of this winning sure is costing all of us a shitload of money. A good chunk of it in tariffs. Which is a tax on regular consumers like you and me. Donald Trump raised taxes on all real, working Americans, while simultaneously lowering taxes for billionaires. He's managing to fuck you in the ass, all while you thank him for it and ask for more. Fucking idiots.
  19. Alex, what is "possess a spine?"
  20. Again.....tell me you wouldn't have partied like a rock star with that setup when you were 18.
  21. Homeslice is actually a PITA to get to, and to get into. Love it, it's my wife's favorite pizza, but it's just always slammed. When I just want a damned pizza, I like someplace I can go into and get a pizza. Not a fan of Tony C's. I've had it several times, and the crust is always too soggy/limp. I've given it several chances. I hear great things about Feral, but it's takeout only. When we want to go in and sit down and eat, that's not an option. But I do want to try it. The real hard sell is going there instead of Bufalina, which my wife loves. But again, can be tough to get in.
  22. ....I would have killed for that setup back in college, to tell the truth.
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