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Gatorubet

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Gatorubet

  1. Oh. when I returned the car, the Hertz guy told me 20 minutes earlier another customer has been mugged at the same gas station, but they had taken the person’s wallet and all of their luggage. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
  2. it was honestly lamer than that. It was one of those gas station nozzles that dribble out gas like an old man pissing, so I doubt I got more than a cup on him. It was interesting because it took a full couple second to even realize two masked kids were running at me. And once we started tussling all I could think of was, don’t let them get me in the car and drive away. Because my driver side door was still open and I was between it and them. And the threat was actually pretty lame, because one kid had my left arm, trying to get my watch and my right hand held the fuel pump nozzle so there’s no way I could grab a lighter. I obviously wasn’t thinking that all through in the moment. When I studied Kempo karate forever ago, our instructor always told us to do anything to avoid an actual physical fight and it is never a bad idea when facing superior odds to try to act as crazy as hell. so when I saw gas hit his hoodie and mask the only thing I can think of was act crazy like I would set us on fire. The bottom line is I was careless and got lucky
  3. I have to admit the fight or flight rush for about 15 minutes afterwards was something
  4. it was a Citizens brand watch. Those kids had no idea.
  5. If anybody pulls a gun, I give him everything I have and I don’t say a word. These kids look 16.
  6. I just got mugged at the chevron getting gas before rental drop in beautiful Oakland. I had looked around and there was nobody suspicious and after I got the pump in my hand, a black sedan pulled up and two guys jumped out and ran at me…Teenagers with hoods and masks. We were so tight between the gas pump in the car that they really couldn’t use their advantage in numbers, one kid grabbed my left arm and was trying to take my watch off while the second kid was trying to grab m. The one kid kept struggling to figure out how to take off my watch for like 15 seconds while I kept trying to pull away an FU them. About that time I realized I had the gas nozzle in my right hand and pumped gas on the nearest one’s head, screaming, “ I’ve got a lighter... I want us to die!!” The car next to me had started honking his horn, and so both of them ran off and jumped in the black car which took off like an Indy car and almost got in a wreck. It turns out the second one had gotten my watch off my wrist before he ran. The whole thing could not have lasted more than 20 to 30 seconds. so that was different. But I kept my phone and credit cards and ID to get on the plane so all is good and I’m drinking a glass of wine at the airport. My $50 watch looked like an Omega - so they only focused on it and not my wallet. Feel free to share your I got mugged story.
  7. I fucking do. I evacuated to my wife’s cousin’s house in North Louisiana- we were watching the city flood after the levee breaches when some Dipshit friend of theirs said it was God’s judgment for the sinful ways of New Orleans. I screwed up and sort of shoved him a little first as I swung at him - so my punch did not land. He literally ran out the door, and thankfully did not call the cops. To this day I wish I’d decked him.
  8. I’m on a Fourth of July trip to the Pacific Northwest in California, and I’ve only been following this sporadically. I’m not sure if this information is true, but it seems to me that this is not one of those “nobody could’ve possibly foreseen this” type tragedies. As a scout leader for decades, I was always aware of weather events, I had a portable NOAA weather radar with me at all times set on auto emergency broadcast. I have pissed off scouts that tried to set up tents in obvious rain drainage areas demanding they move, even if it would’ve meant just a wet tent - and not life-threatening wall of water. I do not understand not moving kids in cabins next to the river to higher ground once there is any chance of a rain event greater than average.
  9. And you had to quit doing this, didn’t you?
  10. Wake up, you stupid sheeple! Diddy was buying up large quantities of baby oil because that’s what goes in the contrails. Of course the government had to put him away to silence him.
  11. I think it was Jesus who said, “Legacy scholarships are a blessing to God, but the poors will always be with us ….and not needed in professional schools as long as soon-to-be-ripe agricultural products need picking.”
  12. It’s getting your nails done. What could it cost….10 Euros?
  13. At least they are putting the vaccine money to good use doing research on the shelf life of horse paste.
  14. I highly suggest one of these whenever you’re on the water or in the boonies
  15. I’m on vacation so I did not know it was a thing either. I just read where some spots got 10 inches. That kind of rain out of the blue - at night - in the Hill country was truly the worst scenario. My thoughts are with you.
  16. Meanwhile, in Mendocino, California on the North Pacific Coast, the small town Fourth of July parade has messages supporting stop the destruction of Gaza, women’s rights, gay rights, and many shades of fuck Trump signs and floats. Before the parade, there was some guy and a jacked-up pickup with speakers on the back of his bed - and I shit you not - playing Lee Greenwood’s ‘I’m proud to be an American’ while flying giant stop the steal and drain the swamp flags. The guy even had the starter pack of goatee, backwards ball cap and Oakley’s. I guess he knew what I did not know, that he would literally hate every single thing in the rest of the upcoming parade.
  17. it’s like bread and circuses, but without the bread part
  18. Not if they answer with the magic words, “yes!”, or “what…?”
  19. I have no problem with younger women.
  20. It’s hard to be 100% wrong on everything in a post like this, so congratulations I guess.
  21. Venture X is a fantastic travel card for less money than the platinum AE. you can get 10 times points when you book nice lodging through their service. I would go to Vegas with my crew and they would happily let me put all the rooms on my credit card. I would get 150,000 points to use towards hotels and travel whenever I paid 15 K in hotel bills as a work expense. It is not as good, but for a $395 a year it’s fantastic
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