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  1. 350+ report food sickness symptoms after eating at Chipotle in Ohio. aggy running this store or perhaps trying to take people's eyes off the Urban Meyer story? https://abcnews.go.com/US/350-people-report-sick-ohio-chipotle-officials/story?id=56942423
  2. Have you seen the rest of the Big 12? Hot garbage. Every team other than OU is SEC level bad. Just atrocious. I realize that "there's a reason you play the game" but damn, they're so bad. Injuries might change things. Also, fuck OU in their goat asses with a baseball bat covered in razor blades.
  3. Fuck OU. They are pussies and they play pussy football. We are going to eat the quick little midget and shit him out like he was the turkey dinner the morning after thanksgiving. Todd Orlando is gonna earn his fucking paycheck this upcoming weekend. We will beat OU twice in one season for the first time ever. And we will laugh at them because of how much they suck. So it is written.
  4. We had a significant % of the population who believed in porn rings inside a pizza hut just by reading some texts and taking it for gospel. Now they will get first hand accounts from Joe Biden on exactly that.
  5. The Big XII conference has been crumbling for a decade. It seems highly unlikely that it will persist beyond 2021 with the way things are moving. If you haven't already, it's time to mentally prepare yourselves for this being the final year of the conference that we have called home and been a part of for the past quarter-century, for better or worse. It's time for one last hurrah with the Red Raiders, Horned Frogs, Cowboys, Bears, Cyclones, Jayhawks, Wild Cats, and Mountaineers who have been the source of both entertaining memories and undeniable headaches over the last 10 years. One last dance with all of these teams that we will play again only rarely, if ever. It's time for the Texas Longhorns to embark and complete what can only be described as a firm, final Ass Whooping Tour. And we will. We have a seasoned and talented team with a proven new coaching staff. You need no reminding that we have a legitimate Heisman contender at running back, on top of numerous other excellent offensive and defensive weapons already on the team. I also haven't been this excited about our 2-deep at quarterback situation since the Simms/Applewhite era at Texas. We're going to be good. And I'm tired of pretending like we're not. We're going to run through every team on our schedule and win this shitty conference on our way out the door. We're going to hoist the Big XII trophy at AT&T Stadium one last time, and I don't care if we toss it on the ground and piss on it afterwards. It's still going to be ours. So this is it, I'm calling my shot. I'm predicting a 12-1 regular season. We split games with OU, winning in December when it matters. Just as Texas won the final year of the Southwest conference, so too will we maintain our streak and win our final year in the Big XII. A quick game-by-game rundown of how this season should go: Louisiana - Sept 4 There will be a lot of buzz and snide remarks from outsiders heading into this game ("Hurr, upset alert but for who? Louisiana? They're ranked higher than Texas aren't they?"). And sure. Louisiana is returning a seasoned team coming off a 10-win (near undefeated) season last year. They'll have high hopes of doing the same this year. They'll come into DKR expecting to compete, and they will... for about a quarter. Texas will settle down and pull away, and we'll witness firsthand beautiful deep ball touchdowns from both Casey Thompson and Hudson Card, in addition to touchdowns on the ground provided by Bijan and Roschon. A dominant first outing. @Arkansas - Sept 11 Most of the nation will have missed our opener and much more of the same buzz and chiding will surround our second game of the season ("Durr, the Longhorns are about to get a taste of what they're getting themselves into with the SEC!SEC!"). This game will be much closer and more competitive than the opener, but Arkansas's vaunted SEC defense won't be able to stop Texas from scoring the points needed to win. We'll improve to 2-0 here, and suddenly the rest of the nation (and our recruiting) will take notice. Rice - Sept 18 This game will be over at the half and our younger guys will get much needed reps. We will even see our third and maybe fourth-string quarterback, taking some snaps. Texas Tech - Sept 25 Texas Tech is not what it has been in recent years, and their fan base and team is resigned to whatever fate awaits them post-Big XII. Basically, they're going to get fucked, know they're going to get fucked, and will get fucked during our game when we play and beat them too. @TCU - Oct 2 This will be our first example of a truly hostile conference game environment this year. Every conference away game that we play this season is going to be surreal in that it will produce a level of vitriol that we haven't seen since the height of the Southwest conference. But TCU is special. This particular team has basically owned us for the past decade. They have a better record against us over the past several years than OU. As of right now, TCU has a longer active winning streak at DKR than we do. This shit is unacceptable and needs immediate rectifying. When Texas first announced that it hired Sarkisian, I marked this game down as his "must win" for a successful first year. Time to put up or shut up. We will beat these cockroaches and it will feel cathartic as we improve to 5-0 on the season. TX/OU - Oct 9 For the first time in this game's history, there will exist a sublime camaraderie between the fan bases in attendance at they come together in the Cotton Bowl to watch their respective teams play each other. We will receive a more welcoming reception here than at any other conference venue this season. Maybe we'll win, maybe we won't. But we'll see them again in December. Oklahoma State - Oct 16 After our win in Stillwater last season, I'm convinced that we're back in Oklahoma State's head. They enjoyed a short run where they were beating us regularly for part of this decade, but that's over now. We'll put up another win here to leave them something to remember us by. @Baylor - Oct 30 Like Texas Tech, Baylor is resigned to whatever fate awaits them post-Big XII. But the game is in Waco, and they'll want to beat the big bad Longhorns one last time. McLane Stadium is going to be bumping and the Bears will expect to win. They'll probably even make it a game. But it won't be enough. Our win here will expel them back into irrelevancy as the Big XII dissolves around them. @Iowa State - Nov 6 This is the team that the pundits have not and will not quit talking about. And don't get me wrong--Iowa State WILL be good next season. But best (or even second best?) in the Big XII? A CFP contender? No. Still, they could very likely be 8-0 at this point next season. Their game against OU isn't until Nov 20, and beating OU will be their overarching singular focus this year. Beating Texas is a foregone conclusion and afterthought. But I need not remind you how Texas dominated much and most of the game against ISU last year (and the year before), and but for boneheaded coaching and game management, these games would have been wins. I'm really looking forward to going into Ames with an actually competent coaching staff this season and "shocking the nation" that has had ISU/OU penciled into the 2021 Big XII championship game since last December. Kansas - Nov 13 Kansas is a bad football team with a quagmire of current off the field issues. It'll be nice beating them comfortably for a change, particularly after our game against them last year was cancelled. @West Virginia - Nov 20 One last trip to a hostile Morgantown on our way out the conference's door. WVU made their Big XII debut against Texas by taking a memorable win from us at DKR in 2012 and catapulting to a top 5 ranking on the backs of Geno Smith and Tavon Austin. WVU then proceeded to lose their next 5 games and would ultimately lose the Pinstripe Bowl against Syracuse. Fuck. These. Guys. Our record in Morgantown has actually been pretty good, and there's no reason to change that now. Kansas State - Nov 26 This is our Thanksgiving-week game. Our Thanksgiving-week record has been pretty poor in recent years, and this will be a good time to fix that (as we'll soon resume playing our "little brother" that week starting as early as 2022, and we need to have things trending in the right direction). Big XII Championship Game - Dec 4 The rematch with OU. This is the one that counts, and it's one that we will win. OU could conceivably be undefeated going into this game and eyeing another CFP appearance. We will be able to take all of that away. It's fitting that the two teams acting as catalyst for the disintegration of the Big XII will be the two teams now battling for the Big XII title one last time, to keep for all time. Hook 'Em. Beat OU. And make the rest of the Big XII conference eat shit this final season.
  6. Fuck OU. we gave that game to them. It used to be the Cotton Bowl was the biggest game of the year. take care of business and beat OU for the big 12 championship - oddly against our instincts that’s the bigger game of the year. It’s still ours to take. No way a one loss Texas Big 12 champion is kept out of the playoffs with a win at Bama and a revenge win over OU. Goals still in sight. fuck OU. Man up.
  7. The World Health Organization says that Equatorial Guinea has confirmed its first-ever outbreak of Marburg disease, saying the Ebola-related virus is responsible for at least nine deaths in the tiny Western African country. In a statement on Monday, the U.N. health agency confirmed the epidemic after samples from Equatorial Guinea were sent to a lab in Senegal to pinpoint the cause of disease after an alert from a local health official last week. The WHO said there were currently nine deaths and 16 suspected cases with symptoms including fever, fatigue, diarrhea and vomiting. The agency said it was sending medical experts to help officials in Equatorial Guinea stop the outbreak and was also sending protective equipment for hundreds of workers. Kin to Ebola. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2023/02/13/marburg-virus-disease-outbreak-equatorial-guinea/11250717002/
  8. ...because unbeknownst to me before about 30 seconds ago, bowl season starts this saturday. http://fantasy.espn.com/college-bowl-mania/2020/en/group?groupID=278966 password is: werefucked $25 entry, PM me for venmo, cashapp or paypal. don't mention gambling in the message, just put surly.
  9. Someone told me today that we are. I would like that. I never wanted to go to artificial turf in the first place.
  10. We haven’t won this shit in a decade. It’s put up or shut up time, Tom.
  11. From Brentwood, ready to continue our farewell tour of this hellhole conference . . . . TEXAS!!!
  12. Good 'Ol Sussex by the sea...BHAFC I really like the cleaner look this year, I don't have anything against last year's dark green away kits, since that's my favorite color, but the black sure does pop a lot better.
  13. Fuck anyone that says otherwise
  14. Domedriver

    Colt Wins!

    Colt McCoy throws a touchdown and beats the Seahawks!🤘🤘🤘
  15. Tell this rookie which two or three Defense players are going to win us some games next year?!? Will it be Portal, Freshmen, Sophomore or Junior/Seniors who make the most big plays?
  16. Yeah, i really have no prognostication here. I'm super pumped and know this team's potential. Who knows what we'll get. I'm gonna cheer my nuts off the whole way however it goes. Anyway, go Stars!
  17. For my own sanity I unfollowed the President the United States on Twitter because he is a bat shit crazy narcissistic sociopath. At this point whether or not he is impeached is almost irrelevant. A Democratic led house will finally lead to some checks and balances. IMO, the fear mongering/brain washing from Fox News and Conservative Talk Radio being spewed on the public for the last 30 years is the sole reason. Republicans and Democrats aren't that far apart. We all want good education, healthcare and opportunity; just philosophical differences on the best way to achieve those goals. The Right is now so far beyond NeoCon, ChristianCon that they are almost unrecognizable as a political party. No one is coming to take your guns. The borders aren't being overrun with migrants....and if it is, you're hiring them as day laborers to work your fields and do your construction work. Hell municipalities and states are hiring contractors that have nothing but non resident aliens on their payroll to build and repair our roads. I did some back of the napkin math on the original 33 billion that DJT asked for in 2017 for the wall and border security. You could hire 6,600 more border guards and pay them each 50k a year for the next 100 years. Then, all of the money spent would be taxed and recycled back into the system. Not really sure why I'm typing this out other than hoping it will be cathartic and help cleanse my mind. In the words of a wise WarZone poster from 2007. "Fuck that puto."
  18. I'm a fan. Unfortunately I don't have showtime. I recently read Kathy Valentine's book and found it pretty interesting.
  19. Ewers had his freshman game. Defense sucked on a lot of third downs. Made stops when they absolutely had to. Fuck it, move on and play better next week. We still have Ewers and Bijan. I’m still jacking it to 49-0, and a close win over ISU won’t change that. Nice to be on the other side of this shit for a change.
  20. Our bench this year is so good, it has me wondering if they would actually beat our starters. The starters are probably better individual talents, but the bench has a bunch of hoopers. Curious what you all think. Since we only have 9 players on our bench, I put Carr on both teams.
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