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San Antonio Spurs '23-'24: Hoops, Hype, Hair Dye


ztejas

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The December clouds were as grey as an extinguished fire. The cheers from earlier that night had long since faded as the Spurs completed a painful and unfathomable one win November.  The players and staff had gone home. The lockerrom was eerily quiet and empty. Finally alone, Pop, Mary Bet and the Coyote wondered in silence how everything had gone to hell. 

The Coyote locked his lecherous psychedelic green eyes first onto Pop and then onto Mary Bet. For just that brief moment, they held each others gaze in a lust fueled cross eyed triad. The Coyote could feel something stirring deep inside of him, an awakening within that he hadn't felt in a long time, perhaps not since Al Sturchio was put out to pasture. He felt his heart racing as if it was going to burst through his number 2! jersey, the tension building like the bulge in his pantsless costume. Mary Bet took a hit off of her weed pen then slyly opened her arms out to both of them. There was one beat of knowing silence when Pop whipped out his throbbing rock hard 14 inch cock and uttered those words they all had been waiting to hear, "I want some nasty."

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1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

The December clouds were as grey as an extinguished fire. The cheers from earlier that night had long since faded as the Spurs completed a painful and unfathomable one win November.  The players and staff had gone home. The lockerrom was eerily quiet and empty. Finally alone, Pop, Mary Bet and the Coyote wondered in silence how everything had gone to hell. 

The Coyote locked his lecherous psychedelic green eyes first onto Pop and then onto Mary Bet. For just that brief moment, they held each others gaze in a lust fueled cross eyed triad. The Coyote could feel something stirring deep inside of him, an awakening within that he hadn't felt in a long time, perhaps not since Al Sturchio was put out to pasture. He felt his heart racing as if it was going to burst through his number 2! jersey, the tension building like the bulge in his pantsless costume. Mary Bet took a hit off of her weed pen then slyly opened her arms out to both of them. There was one beat of knowing silence when Pop whipped out his throbbing rock hard 14 inch cock and uttered those words they all had been waiting to hear, "I want some nasty."

I’ll be in my bunk.

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(rant incoming)

Maybe someone can help me out here but I'm confused. At some point are we going to actually sign good free agents or vets to try and win games and mentor these guys in the locker room? Cedi Osman is a fucking bum. McDermott can't play any D. Neither of them have ever played in a meaningful NBA game. What is the point of having guys like that on the team? I was watching Phoenix/Denver last night and Grayson Allen runs circles around any of our role players whether or not anyone thinks he's a scumbag. It isn't difficult to get a couple of guys like that on the roster. It isn't difficult to not repeatedly start quite possibly the worst player in the fucking NBA. 

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There has been a lot of murmuring about Pop's ability to still coach at a high level. I don't know if he still has it or not. He's firmly in "show us" territory at this point, though.

But that isn't really my main concern. My main concern is that I'm failing to understand what exactly the vision or mission is from an organizational and roster-building perspective. I get tanking for Wemby. That was obviously the right move. But, now what? Are we tanking again? Are we trying to win? If the former, why is Keldon Johnson still on the team (honestly I'm not sure why he's on the team either way)? If the latter, why the fuck are guys like Branham and Osman getting so many minutes? 

I'm a big fan of Spurs culture, team basketball, etc. but when half the team fucking sucks it honestly serves to get in the way of developing guys like Wemby and Sochan who our future is going to hinge on. I guess the plan was go into the season without a starting PG and just let Sochan be baptized by fire - but now we appear to have scrapped the Sochan experiment and so you look up and we have a good backup and a guy that should be playing in the G League at the position. Frankly, that's fucking unacceptable and GMing malpractice when you have the most highly touted prospect in 20 years joining the team. 

And now - we're bringing our other top 3 guy off the bench? The main goal should be figuring out how to get Wemby, Sochan and DV across the finish line and, in order, we:

- can't get one of them the fucking ball with any sort of consistency or efficacy

- can't figure out what position one of them should be playing

- have apparently decided one of them is a microwave/6th man type of player despite, unlike most of the team, actually possessing an NBA-level skillset

If there weren't so many flashes of brilliance it wouldn't even bother me as much - but Sochan and Wemby do multiple things every game that make me say "holy shit". This team has stretches where they look straight up good. You can even see some improvement around the edges.

But my God this roster is like someone's dead grandma's attic. If you brought Danny Ainge in he'd spend the entire first week asking questions like "who the fuck is this?", "this guy plays how many minutes?", "what do you mean you don't have two point guards?"

It's fine to be bad. It isn't fine to be this fucking bad and seemingly have little direction. 

I get that Pop has tenure - but I'd suggest that at a minimum he needs to either coach or GM. The two-hats routine doesn't appear to be working. 

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Vassell is on a minutes restriction and they’re bringing him off the bench until he’s off it. Everything else I agree with. The Branham stats are abysmal and he should sit on the bus during the game. He can shoot the mid-range, but he and Collins need to immediately stop shooting threes. They’re instant turnovers. Wemby has at least stopped shooting so goddamn many bad ones.

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Here's where I'm at with Pop:

  • Mack Brown's 5-7 season. None of the personnel from the halcyon championship teams in the locker room. Questions about whether the game has passed him by, whether he's become complacent. Not an exact fit, of course. Pop is much less of a glad hander than Mack, and his interests are much more erudite. He's earned a very long leash, though, and his bosses love him.
  • Who could even replace him? As a thought experiment, I asked myself: who would do be doing a better job under the identical circumstances? I don't think there's an obvious answer. He's got a broad coaching tree, but I don't see many of them wanting to coach in his shadow or with such unimpressive personnel surrounding a generational talent.

Love him or hate him, he's going to get at least another season before he gets fired. Perhaps even three. The Sochan experiment at PG is not working but more than that they have extreme and obvious mentality/toughness problems that have allowed wins slip away on a consistent basis.

I really hope a win streak helps them turn the corner, because when the team is clicking they are scary for anyone in this league and they are incredibly fun to watch.

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Honestly, it was a well played game until the fourth with that shit lineup. They slowed the game down, and ran a bunch of set plays, which was nice. Rudy played an exceptional game in defense and Naz Reid did some cool shit. Competent point guard play and a center worth a damn would go a long way. My kingdom for Dejounte Murray and Jakob Turtle, just kidding (kind of).

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They are actually playing better. It isn't showing up in the win column, obviously. 

But you aren't going to win on the road against a 16-4 team shooting 8/36 from beyond the three point line. Of course, you wouldn't shoot 8/36 from three if you constructed a roster that actually had guys (other than Devin Vassell) who could knock down a three pointer. Take out Vassell (4-8) McDermott (3-8) and Keldon (1-2), the team went 0-18 from three. Jones: 0-3. Collins: 0-6. Osman: 0-3. Sochan: 0-2. Wemby: 0-2. Champagnie: 0-1. Fucking brutal. 

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45 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

They are actually playing better.

Not really. We were 3-7 and -112 through our first 10, we are 0-10 and -132 in our last 10.

I'm going to start spoilering my rants but as long as I keep watching these guys the rants will likely continue. If you aren't a sicko and everything with the Spurs seems fine and dandy to you then I'd just skip what's below.

Spoiler

We still can't get Wemby the ball. We still play WTF lineups. We started Cedi Osman last night and he played 32 mins - granted he actually put up a decent line. Zach Collins went 6-20. Doug played as many minutes as Sochan. Bassey got a DNP. Champagnie got 4 mins.

I just don't understand what we're doing. If we want our young guys to take their lumps and learn how to play winning basketball then why are we A) not playing them and B) not surrounding them with vets that can impart some wisdom and lead by example. 

I don't know what Champagnie's ceiling is. He could potentially be a good player on a good team. I do know that if Cedi Osman is anything better than your 4th guy off the bench you suck. I don't know who is supposed to be running the offense for us. I do know that Malaki Branham is likely never going to be a good NBA player. 

Who are the leaders on this team? Who is correcting mistakes in the huddle? Tre Jones? Keldon Johnson? There's more talent than ever in the NBA and that's the best we can fucking do?

I don't expect us to win a bunch of games. I do expect us to make progress when it comes to playing with each other and developing young talent. I want to see a vision. I want to see guys setting the tone and holding each other accountable. As of now I'm seeing a lot of bad habits, inconsistent effort and focus, and players not being put in positions to succeed. I'm also seeing a lot of talent that can and should start contributing to winning basketball - especially from the British guy and the French guy. That talent needs to be shaken up and poured out into a clean glass like a nice martini. In a lot of these games it is being haphazardly spilled onto the floor or forgotten about in the back of someone's cabinet. 

I'm fine if they don't have this year circled and want another top draft pick - but this is supposed to be a weak draft and there really isn't any reason to again be the worst team in the league and even worse than we were last year. There is a way to begin pointing this thing back in the right direction and still lose a ton of games and there is no reason to not start doing that this season. 

There are still a lot of games left but something needs to click at somepoint. Again - I want to see a vision. Not a bunch of drunkenly scrawled gibberish on bar napkins - because that's what this team looks like right now.

 

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