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Santa needs a helper - Christmas Eve 2023


Laxtonto

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It’s that time again….3 year old is blissfully asleep, unaware of how much daddy already hates some of her wonders for the morrow. 8 year old is in bed with the misses (looks like he is coming down with something… it may be flu…. fucking yay) and as such I am solo tonight in more ways than one.

Thankfully I have my good friend Russel to help me this evening.

God speed Surly fucks… and Merry Christmas 

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Edited by Laxtonto
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1 minute ago, Laxtonto said:

Fuck it….

Thinking on Die Hard as background noise as I work on the bike for the 3 year old before I tackle the real work. Figure 2 more hours should do it, depending on how helpful Russell’s is

Aww man, bicycle assembly is the nightmare of Santas nationwide.

Best luck to ya.

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28 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

Aww man, bicycle assembly is the nightmare of Santas nationwide.

Best luck to ya.

Bicycle has nothing on grill.   Did a couple of those back in the day for me dad and a friends dad.  Or ikea furniture….  Bike, that’s like 7 parts at the most?   

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I just built a fucking Teepee….

Lots of fucking questions going through my head right now starting with, Why the fuck ones a 3 year old need her own Teepee?
 

And… Hit it again… Such a brutal efficient line that really drives home that Hans does not give a shit about anything but getting the FBI to show up

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I am glad to be out of the having to put toys together business. My youngest is 14 so Santa not a thing at the house anymore. Hope it all worked out for you and that the kids don’t come out to you slumped over a bike frame with an allen wrench in one hand and bottle of Bourbon in the other. 

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5 hours ago, Laxtonto said:

And now the big one…. A kitchen… can’t be that hard. Melissa and Doug tend to make decent stuff.

Need a refill…

“I am Agent Johnson, this is Special Agent Johnson,  no relation….”

Took me almost 2 hours to put together a kitchen last Christmas.  Shit sucked.  This year was an “industrial fashion closet” with no instructions or pictures and about 100 pieces, a toddler bed that is a complete pain in the ass to connect together. 

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13 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Took me almost 2 hours to put together a kitchen last Christmas.  Shit sucked.  This year was an “industrial fashion closet” with no instructions or pictures and about 100 pieces, a toddler bed that is a complete pain in the ass to connect together. 

Only 2 hours? It took me about 5 to put one together. Granted I started at 10 and was already tired af.

 But totally worth it. Between my kids, we got about 6-7 years of solid use. 

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I miss those days of having It’s A Wonderful Life on a loop and putting together stuff. It helped that my kids were very appreciative for what they got even in the leanest of times.

One winter before I had a family I worked at Target as a night stocker. My job was putting together bicycles and grills for displays.

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Those kitchens were something else to assemble.   Make bikes seem quite easy by comparison.   Basketball hoop was difficult compounded by a missing piece.   For you younger dads, try not have Santa presents you have to really assemble.  It always takes longer at night than the instructions and those kids are waking up at sunrise.  

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Fuck it….
Thinking on Die Hard as background noise as I work on the bike for the 3 year old before I tackle the real work. Figure 2 more hours should do it, depending on how helpful Russell’s is

Both my kids are in their twenties now, but you are experiencing the fatherhood “right of passage” of decades/generations before you. I teamed whiskey/beer, while watching Christmas Story on loop.

Many a Christmas Eve spent putting together items or wrapping hidden presents at the last possible timeframe. All to be woken up prior to 7 AM.

Merry Christmas and enjoy the time while they are little, as time goes by pretty fast! Take plenty of pictures/videos too!

Hook’em!!!
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