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Life and Death of a Salesman

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6 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

CSB alert... I used to be an SE for Wyse. 

Ok, so lets talk.  "Certain" sites.....what's the workaround 

Asking for a friend....

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3 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Ok, so lets talk.  "Certain" sites.....what's the workaround 

Asking for a friend....

If they are Windows embedded boxes, you can just launch the local browser without logging into your virtual session. 

If they are ThinOS or Zero clients, you're SOL as they don't have a local browser. 

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2 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

If they are Windows embedded boxes, you can just launch the local browser without logging into your virtual session. 

If they are ThinOS or Zero clients, you're SOL as they don't have a local browser. 

giphy.gif

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Posted (edited)

On January 1 of 2020 I had a goal to make a $300k W2 this year. 

 

Spoiler Alert: I'm not in an industry that will initially be a beneficiary to WFH/distributed workforce or one that will do well in a recession, so it's not even remotely gonna be close I can already see. Q1 is a blood bath. Q2 is a blood bath. Q3 is unknown but probably a blood bath. Q4 I'll just be happy to have a base salary.

Oh, I just bought a $70k car in January because I was feeling great and did around $30k in fat-cat-lapping-at-the-cream-roaring-2019 time elective house upgrades that I wish I hadn't have done now. Not only loss of future forecasted income, but also loss of significant savings/stock/401k. Significant.

Talk about being humbled and having to look your stupidity and largess in the face when looking in a mirror. 

Edited by Rougarou

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Restaurant 365 letting people go. Buddy of mine just got laid off out of their sales department today.

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Posted (edited)

@Rougarou

#metoo

Best laid plans of mice and men yadda yadda yadda

though why do I feel like I'm rearranging deck chairs on the titanic?

I've started qualifying things that used to be definite with "theoretical" as in "well, my theoretical 401K, theoretical inheritance. . ."  "Well, that land value is theoretical, it really depends on how many guns you have. . ."

I need to just knock off for the day and go stream something inspiration like Breaking Bad.

source.gif

Edited by BearSchlong

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So I'm on a call with my boss to go over pricing/discount bands for this potential deal that might double and at the end he tells me "hey I don't want to rain on your parade, but you know if this deal closes at more than 60% of your quota the comp committee will probably reset your goal" Fuck me. No good deed goes unpunished around here. 

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2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Neighbor who works for VMWare (Dell) says they can’t get laptops and virtual desktop licenses out the door fast enough with all the people moving to work from home. It’s amazing how many companies were totally unprepared for that.

I work for a large Security company and a portion of our business is Secure Remote Access and IAM. Apparently that business is booming, we wisely prioritized their orders over the Crypto business I'm in. it's the right thing to do.

After coming in at damn near 300% of my number last CY/FY I'm gonna post less than a $100k in business this Q. it's not that I'm lazy/bad or the business is off. We changed our SFDC instance, quoting, finance systems, everything as we merged two companies together and integrated into a larger BU in the greater empire we live it. what a fucking mess. I have $ in the bank and as I don't have my comp plan or quota yet...who cares. Getting paid 70% OTE on draw as well. Working on a multimillion dollar order or june that will a needle mover so I'm not freaked out yet. 

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Getting paid 70% OTE on draw as well.

That is sweet. Wonder how long that lasts...

Working on a multimillion dollar order or june that will a needle mover so I'm not freaked out yet.

This is me too, but the odds of me bringing in my "make or break" deal in late April/May have plummeted since January.

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2 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

So I'm on a call with my boss to go over pricing/discount bands for this potential deal that might double and at the end he tells me "hey I don't want to rain on your parade, but you know if this deal closes at more than 60% of your quota the comp committee will probably reset your goal" Fuck me. No good deed goes unpunished around here. 

And you get fucked like a tied goat next year.

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"Working on a multimillion dollar order or june that will a needle mover so I'm not freaked out yet."

 

and I've just been informed that I will get fucked on this. this deal will be added to my overall Quota. So I will make some nice accelerator $ for the Quarter, it won;t retire a big chunk of my annual number. the Europeans who run my business are socialist fucks. 

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20 hours ago, next2naus said:

Getting paid 70% OTE on draw as well. 

Nice. I proposed this and my company just laughed. Things might start moving slowly in the next few weeks but I doubt there will be any big deals falling soon. I was in the process of finding a new gig when all this started to unravel but now I might just want to sit tight.

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41 minutes ago, ZB'Tejas said:

Nice. I proposed this and my company just laughed. Things might start moving slowly in the next few weeks but I doubt there will be any big deals falling soon. I was in the process of finding a new gig when all this started to unravel but now I might just want to sit tight.

Yea, I would think now is the time to hunker down and be grateful for what we all have until we either a) don't have it anymore (meaning the economy really crashes) or b) we pull out of this thing in a year or so.

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Posted (edited)

So my largest partner just announced they are postponing any non-essential Data Center activities. Break fix and contractually obligated activities they can't move only. Going to be interesting to see what happens with their sales teams out there desperately trying to close business for their EOQ this Friday. Wonder where they are going to put all that new gear that should be hitting the floor?

Edited by Pescado_Rojo

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more fun...

I finally know my quota but still don't have the final Comp Plan and Sched A. So I don't know the actual Q by Q quota. it's fucking April? My quarter and many other Reps have had a shit Q1 largely due to the companies own making. Systems that don't integrate, unneeded new systems and processes, name changes, etc. it's been a fucking mess. pair this up w/ the Pandemic  and wait for it.......furloughs. Spun as a way to stave off layoffs. We ar enow part of a larger BU and this is their doing, I suspect if we were still a stand alone, this would not be happening. 

over a six week period, they want us to work 3 weeks on, three weeks off, so on/off every other week. Umm...I'm in Sales, how the fuck does that work? if I want full base salary I need to burn 120 Hours of PTO. what a fucking joke. 

 

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Posted (edited)

"I'm sorry Mr. Customer, I'll contact you in 3 weeks after the furlough.  Sit tight, would you?"

What is leadership telling you?

Seriously how does that work?  Hell, I never really take a vacation, even when I'm on PTO. . .on the offhand that an order will come through.

Edit: just saw it was alternating weeks, that's a little easier.  Still sucks about the PTO though.

Edited by BearSchlong

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A furlough isn't all bad considering the alternative is to be laid off, which will be coming if things don't turn around.

 

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just received an absolute gutpunch today. 

My outside rep,  who has been with the company for 15 years and I've been working with the last 3 years, collapsed in his kitchen on Fri night and passed away. 

No warning, no sickness. hell we talked just before 4p and there was nothing on the call to even slightly concern me.  no other information on what caused it at this time. 

55 years old in really good shape. hell he played golf on Thurs. 

Its a double whammy for his wife, who just lost her dad about 7 months ago as well.   We were on pace to destroy all our targets   that all seems hollow now.

 

Ive got to call our accounts tomorrow and tell the customers (many of whom have become really good friends with him as he's had the same territory for 15 years)

just so deflated right now

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Sorry, brother.  In the day-to-day paces and ins&outs of sales world, relationships and friendships still bloom.  Bigtime.

My heart goes out to ya.

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Damn that sucks man. Sorry to hear.

Thread title checks out.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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On 4/3/2020 at 3:46 PM, BearSchlong said:

"I'm sorry Mr. Customer, I'll contact you in 3 weeks after the furlough.  Sit tight, would you?"

What is leadership telling you?

Seriously how does that work?  Hell, I never really take a vacation, even when I'm on PTO. . .on the offhand that an order will come through.

Edit: just saw it was alternating weeks, that's a little easier.  Still sucks about the PTO though.

They told us back in February, that they were developing a schedule for how we call on our customers.  I just started laughing during the meeting because of EXACTLY your scenario going through my head.   " I'm sorry Mr/ Mrs Customer, but your concern will have to wait until you come up on my planner again..."

They talk about how great we are at what we do...but then think our customers give a flying fuck about our agenda.  That ain't how we got great.

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My "furlough" started last week...but I don't have a good feeling about them bringing us back (local government entity/school sales, so it could be a while before they are functioning again from a Purchasing perspective).

Of course, that pales in comparison to some of the other stuff going on out there--positive thoughts for you and your coworkers friends and family, AUS-97

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They are breaking us up into two groups, A and B, each gets three weeks of furlough, so it's every other week. It's complete bullshit. Our business is not down due to C-19, in fact it's all our own doing and and it would not warrant this action, this is just convenient cover. the other BU's might need to take this action, but not the Info-sec group I am in. lots of issue sto unpack.

If we were a stand alone unit as we were last year, this would not be happening. The argument of "we are always working even when on PTO" is crap, when I'm working on a deal sitting in the beach in Aruba its by choice and to get a deal done. its my time and my dime. This is "keep working and use your earned vacation money to get paid or don't get paid"

 

expecting me to work and progress my business and use my PTO to fund my base pay is shitty. If I take the time off and don't work, I negatively impact my earning potential. it's a lose lose as I won't have that much more earned paid time off. what if the mothership or my BU decides to do layoffs? then I have used up some of the vacation pay that I had in the bank and won't receive it as "walking money". 

 

bear: leadership? leadership? what's that. when we acquired this competitor they put their guy in the drivers seat. he was getting beat, he got acquired and he somehow won out. He's a french tool. he has dreams of all this being "self service" and thinks you scale by hiring more people. Both companies did about the same revenue and we did it with a fifth of the Sales force. their a bunch of stooges. I'm hear to close two more large deals, then I'll be six years in and ready for a new thing. 

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@next2naus I hear you.  I'd suspect we worked for the same company - we were acquired 2 years ago and adopted their procedures because they were the "boss" - even though our existing business was far superior to theirs.

The silence from my company is deafening.

 

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1 hour ago, next2naus said:

If you work for a French company with a name that is always mispronounced, then probably yes

Does it start with an A and end with an S? 

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55 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Does it start with an A and end with an S? 

no but they are assholes

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just finished what is hands down the absolute worst day of my entire working lifetime.  Ive been laid off 4 times in my life and none of them hurt like this. I talked with John every working day for the last 3 years at least 3+ times a day, talked about his kids and investments and goals and retirement plans, and all those discussions you have when you have a solid working relationship for 3 years. 

I held it together for most of the day, but I broke down when one of our largest customers and John's golfing buddy (who I had called and emailed this morning telling him I had urgent business related information that he needed to call me right away), instead called me halfway through the day saying he needed to talk to John and he wasnt answering his phone.

I couldnt even talk, just cried and blubbered that I would call him back.   took about 15 mins to compose myself and call and managed to give the news without falling apart. 

I am going to take wed off... but there is literally nothing to do, all im gonna do is sit at home and just not turn on my fucking computer, and take a walk outside.   I cant even fucking do anything to take my mind off it

 

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I got the news today that our factory is going half time in May unless orders improve, which means all other staff (sales included) will be doing the same.  So while I still have a job, I'm about to have half the base.  Not great news, but not the worst either in the situation we're all in.  

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I threw out a few feelers last night.  Ill start in earnest later this week. 

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On 4/6/2020 at 1:27 PM, Pescado_Rojo said:

Does it start with an A and end with an S? 

I always thought Atos was pronounced as it is spelled. What is the phonetic pronunciation then?

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I feel like a heel this morning because some of you guys are facing furlough and tough situations and I am upset that my new comp plan is trash. Will make $100k less, for the exact same output, pretty much overnight-- seems like it should go the other direction, right?

I don't know that I will hit the streets to find something else hard, but I am going to start listening to these recruiters who are in the inmail box every week...

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Just now, Rougarou said:

I always thought Atos was pronounced as it is spelled. What is the phonetic pronunciation then?

It depends...are you working out of their US HQ in Irving? If so, you probably say Aye-tos. If you're French, or EMEA based, it's Ah-tos. 

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Just now, Pescado_Rojo said:

It depends...are you working out of their US HQ in Irving? If so, you probably say Aye-tos. If you're French, or EMEA based, it's Ah-tos. 

So it's like a FYE-nance or FIN-ance thing. lol

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Posted (edited)

COVID-19 update - This morning my company's GVP rolled out a series of daily 9:00 am video webexs for each sales team, followed by extensive prospecting sessions.  My specific team, which is out of Austin and is in the Healthcare strategic vertical, has been killing it this year, but apparently we have sales teams in other states like CA and NY that just went home and gave up. . .so obviously this is an attempt to get people re-engaged and back in the habit of actually, you know, working.

Hope things are looking up for those of you severely impacted by this economy.  Our sales this month are entirely driven by companies needing stuff to help them through the crisis, but 3-6 months out is going to be tough sledding.

Edited by BearSchlong

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So this is a fun week. Last year we acquired a larger entity than us and our business unit was also rolled up into (really just deeper integration) another BU. The company we acquired was larger, had more bodies and more process (bureaucracy) and the home boys in France think this was/is a good thing so, acquired management team are running the show, and running it poorly.  The guy at the helm (a french turd) brought in a Danish turd to be the Global SVP Sales. French turd has been here a year, Danish turd three months. 

the turds decided on Monday to fire the Americas VP of Sales because we had a bad Q1 and are forecasting a bad Q2. Q1 was due to things like SFDC being offline for us for 7 wks, new products w/out training, new and not fully defined accounts lists, a Q4-19 being huge. Q2 is going to off b/c Covid-19. the Americas VP has been here six years and under his leadership we always beat our #'s. this is politics so they can have their own dog on a leash. it's dumb, these guys are idiots. Did I mention its APRIL 22 and we still don't have comp plans?

 

one of my old Managers is the CRO at an interesting infra play, I think We will get the bank back together in Q3 

 

 

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I fucking hate not being able to meet with customers or even go by the office. Hate it.

Carry on.

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, next2naus said:

So this is a fun week. Last year we acquired a larger entity than us and our business unit was also rolled up into (really just deeper integration) another BU. The company we acquired was larger, had more bodies and more process (bureaucracy) and the home boys in France think this was/is a good thing so, acquired management team are running the show, and running it poorly. 

The first company I worked for, Gateway Computers did something similar.  The only way I could describe it was a reverse buyout.

In Mar of 2004, GW bought EMachines.    To state that again, GW bought the smaller company.

Pretty much in the history of acquisitions with a few smaller outliers of exemplary people- when the big company buys the small company, the small company managers and execs are either laid off as being redundant or kept around but "demoted" to lesser management levels. 

not in this case.  Ive never seen or heard of anything like it.  The day of the acquisition, the entire C-series levels of GW were let go (including the CEO and founder). 3/4 of the board of directors were also let go.   probably 80% of all the VP or higher management positions were let go. 

They were replaced man-for-man with EMachines C-series, and execs.  I was a senior manager, (I kinda survived the purge).

My Director (15 + years of experience), my site VP (25+ years experience), as well as the actual VP of sales were all let go in the bloodletting.  The director spot was left empty along with the site VP spot, instead the new VP of sales was a 26 year old who I found out later had graduated his masters of BA 2.5 years before that, and had actually just been promoted from sales manager to senior sales manager at emachines the month before the acquisition... yet they made this clown be the fucking VP of Sales , 3 entire levels of management higher than his previous position. I get it if the VP was a fucking wunderkind, but he had no fucking idea how to run a sales team, let alone the entire US salesforce. 

My entire division (and actual site) didnt even survive 2 months after the acquisition before we were shut down entirely.  Those 2 months were lunacy as I was the most senior sales manager at our site who had survived the purge, yet my entire upper level umbrella of sales experience I had leaned on for help were gone, and I was now expected to basically be the site sales VP with all the responsibility, none of the pay, and having to deal with a dipshit who kept demanding  (without providing 1 fucking suggestion) that we sell more  despite the company also cutting the marketing budget by 90+% the day the acquisition happened. 

Edited by AUS-97HORN

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3 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

I fucking hate not being able to meet with customers or even go by the office. Hate it.

Carry on.

this is the end of every customer call.   It sucks ass.

giphy.gif

 

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14 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

The first company I worked for, Gateway Computers did something similar.  The only way I could describe it was a reverse buyout.

In Mar of 2004, GW bought EMachines.    To state that again, GW bought the smaller company.

Pretty much in the history of acquisitions with a few smaller outliers of exemplary people- when the big company buys the small company, the small company managers and execs are either laid off as being redundant or kept around but "demoted" to lesser management levels. 

not in this case.  Ive never seen or heard of anything like it.  The day of the acquisition, the entire C-series levels of GW were let go (including the CEO and founder). 3/4 of the board of directors were also let go.   probably 80% of all the VP or higher management positions were let go. 

They were replaced man-for-man with EMachines C-series, and execs.  I was a senior manager, (I kinda survived the purge).

My Director (15 + years of experience), my site VP (25+ years experience), as well as the actual VP of sales were all let go in the bloodletting.  The director spot was left empty along with the site VP spot, instead the new VP of sales was a 26 year old who I found out later had graduated his masters of BA 2.5 years before that, and had actually just been promoted from sales manager to senior sales manager at emachines the month before the acquisition... yet they made this clown be the fucking VP of Sales , 3 entire levels of management higher than his previous position. I get it if the VP was a fucking wunderkind, but he had no fucking idea how to run a sales team, let alone the entire US salesforce. 

My entire division (and actual site) didnt even survive 2 months after the acquisition before we were shut down entirely.  Those 2 months were lunacy as I was the most senior sales manager at our site who had survived the purge, yet my entire upper level umbrella of sales experience I had leaned on for help were gone, and I was now expected to basically be the site sales VP with all the responsibility, none of the pay, and having to deal with a dipshit who kept demanding  (without providing 1 fucking suggestion) that we sell more  despite the company also cutting the marketing budget by 90+% the day the acquisition happened. 

yeah, we already did the reverse in that my original employer in this space merged into the French outfit and our CEO took the reigns and our culture took over. All boats rose on that tide. Now it's the other way around and it's awful. I'm sticking around to close a couple large opps however I'm already looking. 

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I'm going to miss my number for the first time in 8 Quarters and it is painful. Sucks. Luckily I'm still spending my Q4 money and haven't had to touch a paycheck in 2020, but that will change with a weak Q1.

I echo missing being able to come onsite, nurturing key relationships, and eating a great steak once or twice a week.

Also, Standard Foods came in and displaced the culture/people of Nabisco before the LBO if you've read BATG. It's how F. Ross became F. Ross. I think it happens more often than you'd think. I mean, it's happening at Sprint as well where Sprint was the bigger and "bought" T-Mobile but it's clear T-Mobile is running stuff.

 

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6 hours ago, next2naus said:

yeah, we already did the reverse in that my original employer in this space merged into the French outfit and our CEO took the reigns and our culture took over. All boats rose on that tide. Now it's the other way around and it's awful. I'm sticking around to close a couple large opps however I'm already looking. 

Sounds like you have a way through your network to get into places through the back or sidedoor, at least. If you have to go in through the front door it's gotta be tough out there; lots of great people laid off, lots of reqs cancelled or on hold right now. But yea, start interviewing because the good jobs will be gone by June when this thing starts to clear up hopefully.

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1 hour ago, Rougarou said:

Also, just heard Dell just had a massive lay off. Hope nobody here was affected.

Strange. My neighbor has worked for dell since damn near the beginning and he said he’s busy as hell. Very strong demand for a lot of their products with people shifting to work from home.

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