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Herpa Derpa

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Herpa Derpa

  1. Feb 4, noon https://texassports.com/sports/baseball/schedule/2023
  2. I still enjoy when someone thinks its real. It's a good critical thinking skills test.
  3. We will. Enjoy displaying for the world to see that you're a little bitch afraid of big, bad Texas. Enjoy showing that midwest friendliness is as fraudulent as your claim to "5 Star Culture". Enjoy a football coach that cries like a pussy. Enjoy 11am games on ESPN+++ against Houston and Cincinnati for the rest of your fandom. Enjoy getting all worked up for another in-state ass kicking by a geriatric dinosaur and his regarded son. Enjoy your basketball program continue to be an irrelevant afterthought where any talented player immediately portals for true opportunity. Enjoy watching your baseball...oh wait, y'all bitched out of that once you realized you could never compete. Enjoy watching half-naked men grapple since you have to if you want to support an actual program with any chance of success. Enjoy waking up every morning, looking out the window to the Iowa horizon, and know that your entire existence depends on obese people sucking up your shitty syrup. And finally, enjoy eating shit while Texas moves to bigger and better things and all you will have are the liars and heiffers that call Ames home. Or is it corral? Remember, all the smart and beautiful Iowans fled as soon as they could. Only the dregs are left these days, living off government subsidies and hand-outs. Sorry, but you won't be able to depend on Texas to line your pockets anymore. No more Bar La Tosca, it's back to double coupon night at Perkins for a date with your pasty doughgirl. So, in the future, every time you find yourself driving down Duff Avenue past Texas Roadhouse, just nod and say, "Hello, Daddy. I miss you so much."
  4. No doubt. I'd just add any post you made post-game was probably going to get a snap back no matter how benign.
  5. Truly have no opinion on the matter, just wanted to use the meme. But would the basketball savants please enlighten me as to Mr. Tang's chances of success at Texas.
  6. Eh, it's a Texas board. If you're not a Texas fan, you're a guest here. A guest in someone else's home. Start acting like it's your home, and you can get the fuck out. Guests are welcomed here by gracious hosts for as long as the hosts like. Guests don't live here. I don't give a fuck if you've been here since the beginning, it's not your party, and you can be shown the door at any moment for any reason. Know your place and always show respect. There's only a few people at this party that can break the TV, vomit all over the living room, and take a dump in the hall closet and remain. And those folks all bleed burnt orange. For the record, @Al_4_ISU did nothing wrong. But the principle remains.
  7. Well that owner should know they're good folks and not get all bent out of shape about losing his liquor license.
  8. Reading up on this show, I learned that it was developed by frequent Kaling collaborator Charlie Grandy. So I said to myself, "Self, let's see what else this cat has done." Unsurprisingly, I found his work is limited to collaborating with Kaling. Joined The Office staff in later seasons, then wrote episodes for Mindy Project, Champions, and Four Weddings before taking on Velma. Surprisingly, and somewhat germane to the thread topic era, I learned he was born Charles Brendan Grandy, son of Fred. Yes, Fred "Gopher" Grandy. Now the thread is not a complete waste of time.
  9. My 75+ year old mother who is part of multiple movie watching clubs said all of her groups roundly rejected any notion of seeing this pile of shit.
  10. So was this guy using email access to stalk someone or find out what his players were saying re the portal, etc? He does have an economics background, so perhaps he was just inserting some minor code into the UM servers.
  11. Howard is married to a child. Like, literally, she has the face of a horse and the mind of a 5 year old. I think I'm gonna eat a hefty helping of bacon in Bella's honor.
  12. Do not want Reid. Would turn into another Beard situation when he finally gets arrested for assault with a sharpie.
  13. Really enjoyed the shot of the Texas road signs when they're initially fleeing that was directly from the game. Was a fun start to the game for obvious biases and happy to see it made the adaptation.
  14. Just spitballin' here, but maybe he thinks he had a better squad and/or is trying to raise the profile of the program he leads. And what Hemanator said.
  15. As an over 50 male with four jabs, I sit here having never had COVID and never developed anything other than a sore arm for a day with each shot. Maybe some of you are just weak pussies. When you find yourself on the same side of a complex argument as Helobious and Vic, it might be time to reassess your critical thinking skills. First, ask yourself if your opinion is based on a lifetime of education and knowledge, or what some cheeto fingered moron wrote on the internet while he was scratching his butthole. If you're anti-vax, I can guarantee you it's the latter. My best wishes to @Spankytoes for your ordeal and ongoing recovery. Thankfully, you had the sense to get two jabs. Factual data would posit that without doing so, you would likely be worm food now. We will all die at various times in our lives for various reasons, many of them called "tragic" because we like to pretend we have a right grow old. Our inherent selfishness creates grand conspiracies and mythical afterlifes to rationalize the coming snuff. There is no shadowy cabal scheming to put you, rando internet poster jackass, into the ground. None of us matter enough for that effort. It's not Hollywood, it's life. And it will end without exception and without mercy. That's not a conspiracy, that's an inevitability.
  16. What the ever loving nonsense are you bleating about now? Every single NBA team would fire Beard after his pinstripe appearance. As would every NFL, MLB, NHL, and MLS team. Your take is irrelevant nonsense and you should be ashamed for making more than a single post in furthering your idiocy. I now must question the value of a UT degree if you managed to get one. Time to put away childish things.
  17. I assume Priscilla is still in charge of GL. And yes, Riley Keough currently carries the legacy. There are also underage fraternal twins that will be around.
  18. But why cuz? Texas still winning. This year still has every goal in sight. Who cares how the fraud is fooling the cheese fan? You gotta listen to Queen Elsa and let it goooooooo. Now when it gets to March and there's the annual faceplant, then we can all come back to this thread and point and laugh again.
  19. Didn't Drunken History already do all of this? With most of the same cast? I'm holding out hope this ain't just Mel's name slapped on a Hulu version Movie 43 shitshow.
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