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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by smuggs

  1. CSB - One time around 99-00' I was in the middle seat between a woman at the window and dude on the aisle. This was pre-ipod/iphone so I had all of my music loaded on my work laptop. After takeoff I pulled my laptop out and cranked it on the tray table, then was fishing around in my laptop bag for my earbuds not paying attention to the screen. What I didn't realize was that unbeknownst to me, my work buddies had hijacked my laptop and changed my bios so that upon boot up, my wallpaper was changed to a jpeg called "The Beard": a rather heinous snapshot of a woman spread eagle with a vast, Amazonian bush stretching from mid-thigh to navel. That image sat on my screen in full view of my row mates for a full 20-30 seconds until I finally found my earbuds in the bag that was down between my feet and I looked up to realize what was going on. The lady next to me was looking out the window so I'm not sure she saw it but I know the dude on the aisle did. He didn't say shit and I flew the whole way from LAX to AUS with a closed laptop wondering if airport security was going to meet me at the gate.
  2. True. I think 'hastily' is the better description of the middle aged ball-drying that happens in the men's public bathroom.
  3. Qualifications: 1) First release at least 25 years prior. 2) "Have created music whose originality, impact and influence has changed the course of rock & roll." 3) Must have kissed Jann Wenner's taint at first meeting and every meeting thereafter.
  4. I can't use Colgate toothpastes for the same reason. Whatever iteration/flavor, they tear my mouth up as if I had eaten a bowl of decomposed granite for breakfast.
  5. This one also gets me. Perfect time machine ride back to the awkward junior high dance experience for me. Same music, same everything. The entire scene isn't on Youtube but 2 vids get the whole thing:
  6. smuggs

    Fat People

    I'm going to need immamac to pull an image search of the Shank thread to verify that the first, second, and third sentence you just typed are indeed true.
  7. 30% of Surly posters would whip that dog's ass.
  8. Plant a filthy shart-drenched pair somewhere. She'll put a leg through there, see what's going on and that will be the last pair she tries to steal.
  9. smuggs

    Fat People

    This thread lacks The Fat Boys.
  10. This gif cuts right before a sick jihadi Piked Triple Back dismount.
  11. I clicked on a link thinking that I was going to read a simple news article about the Kobe Bryant helicopter crash. Boy was I wrong.
  12. I rode out Laura and Delta here in Lake Charles. We didn't have power for 18 straight days after Laura. It was a sweltering SW Louisiana nightmare. Some lessons learned: 1) A whole house genny that runs on NG is the best way to go, period. 2) The gas stations get open fairly quickly on generators. Gas/diesel is available faster than you would expect. 3) Gas cans suck but they are doable. I have (5) five gallon racing cans that I was filling with diesel to run a rented 20KW Sunbelt. Running the genny from 6pm-7am nightly, I had to fill it every other day. The alternative was a diesel service that would come by to fill it for $300 a pop. Fuck that shit. 4) You don't run your whole house genny 24 hours a day. Run it at night when you need a shower, shit and a comfortable night's sleep. Spend your days outside doing stuff and give it a break/conserve fuel.
  13. Farmiga's got a task in front of her playing Livia. I can't wait for this.
  14. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, The Traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick Supplicants, they chose a new form for him - that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of The Slor that day, I can tell you.
  15. The only time I saw Petty was at the ACL thunderstorm show. We almost left but I am so, so glad we didn't. One of the great concert moments of my life.
  16. Has anyone with a Spotify account listened to this:
  17. And Booey 100 is back this weekend for the 4th. Not gonna lie I look forward to it every year.
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