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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by smuggs

  1. Matty G!!! Business suit in DC, tracksuit in Laguna B. Classic Matty, bro!
  2. Lol. Speak for yourself, guy. I shit in the streets like it's my job.
  3. Without lubrication I believe it is.
  4. I enjoyed the classic sci-fi vibe of the first 30ish minutes of Signs. He lost me when he inserted himself into the film and went the total cheesedick spirituality route.
  5. Bezos would have had to agree to do a full vinyl wrap of Party Boy's cock onto his penis rocket.
  6. You want a tracker? I can get you a tracker, believe me. There are ways, dude... you don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell I can get you a tracker by three o'clock this afternoon, with batteries.
  7. smuggs

    RIP Biz Markie

    Prince Markie Dee, DMX, Shock G. 2021 has been taking some serious hip hop talent. Just A Friend was a school bus staple on 8th grade basketball away games. Also helped me to get laid on more than a few occasions. Also loved his cover of Benny And The Jets with the Beasties. RIP. Nobody beats The Biz.
  8. Booey sold his house: https://nypost.com/2021/07/16/howard-stern-staffers-score-buyers-for-homes-amid-nyc-exits/ Includes lightly (if ever) used fitness room -
  9. The economic boon of the sugar baby industry is not accounted for anywhere on these ridiculous MIT graphs.
  10. On one of these night time escapades with @honolulu horn I sprinted through a line of cedar trees while stealthily dodging a Lakeway patrol car, only to run full speed into a waist-high cactus directly on the other side. I jumped onto the golf cart that we had "borrowed" and went back to our command center. Mother Nature had stapled my jeans to my legs via a hundred cactus needles. It took me half an hour to get my pants off plucking needles out of my legs from thigh to ankle.
  11. Probably some killer bargains on XL irregular panties.
  12. Our Stretch Armstrong didn't survive long but our Stretch Monster lasted quite a while.
  13. You would have thought that the Coors Light Silver Bullet Express would have picked up Justin on it's way to Pussy Town. Sadly it sounds like his Denver relocation hasn't solved any of his problems.
  14. There's a big money fight with Diaz on the table before he has to go the Jake Paul route. Although it would be hilarious to see Diaz turn down a 3rd fight on the grounds that MacGregor is a pussy.
  15. Kenny Edwards. The guy has a signature move, I guess.
  16. I have searched in vain for years for that photo. If I can ever find it again I am going to have t-shirts made and stealthily delivered to all of those dirty bastards.
  17. I know a guy that prolifically uses the hashtag #cheerdad on facebook posts, as his 10 year old is in all sorts of cheer camps and competitions. He also likes to take pics of his vehicle being valeted at various Houston hotels. He's a fucking nincompoop.
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