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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. I'm surprised this hasn't happened yet.
  2. I don't remember him as being much of a ladies' man, just a heavy drinker. The poster I'm thinking of was a pretty rambunctious "drink anything, fuck anything" sort of young buck. Or at least the character he played on the Internet was.
  3. Your guess is as good as mine, but one thing seems certain - mommy liked to drink.
  4. Probably that kid from Kansas (Jayhawk something) who posted about all kinds of various mischief and sexual exploits.
  5. https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/dave-matthews-band-bus-septic-tank-tour-boat-chicago-river-bridge-anniversary/
  6. There's something disproportionately satisfying about activating the high beams with your left foot.
  7. I don't think "angry dolphin" originated here. I'm pretty sure I remember it making the rounds in one of those early 2000s email forwards with a few dozen funny-but-nonsensical ornately oddball sex acts - "two dogs in a bathtub," "Arabian goggles," "gorilla mask (with or without the witch doctor variation)," "Cleveland Steamer," etc. Funny, I was trying to remember the different ranking systems the other day, and I couldn't come up with anything as stupid and illogical as whichever one the dumb system was.
  8. Perverts need to launder money too.
  9. Isn't Tegna a monster from Stranger Things?
  10. Mrs. Doom dropped the boy off at the rec center to shoot hoops earlier this afternoon. Kids under 16 are allowed to be there unsupervised up until 5:30 or 6pm, at which point they're supposed to either leave or be chaperoned, but it's pretty loosely enforced. Nevertheless, she told him to call us if he was asked to leave. He replied that if he got hassled, he would, "just tell them I have dwarfisism [sic] and then start swearing, because older people swear a lot."
  11. Maybe you shouldn't have begun following this thread today?
  12. He's never left any job on good terms - of course he was a piece of shit about it once again.
  13. I hope he shits his pants every day for the rest of his life.
  14. The "Sunday Scaries" Instacart commercial is pretty amusing.
  15. That meme never fails to make me laugh.
  16. Prepuce of Doom

    Goose

    It was a fun time. Really intense, upbeat, energetic, generally positive vibe - those dudes really play hard. I'm not quite sure what I expected, but somewhat of a strange crowd. Largest percentage was what I would describe as the college educated and white-collar subset of Dead fans, but also a surprising representation of dudes in flatbrim caps who would look right at home driving a trophy truck with a motocross bike in the back around Orange County or San Diego, frat boys of all ages, older suburban couples who look like the Coldplay cheaters, college kids, and a fair number of high school kids. Fewer wooks and spunions than I expected.
  17. Or the Midwest, where we have basements that, not coincidentally, are also underground and often damp.
  18. Prepuce of Doom

    Goose

    Had a much better time at Goose tonight than I would have if I stayed home to watch the Illini game.
  19. We have raccoons, skunks, opossum, foxes, and deer (though they rarely venture too far out of the nearby forest). Some of the things I've curated over the years get eaten, while others do not. I know that certain types squash-ish things have a very bitter taste and are low-grade poisonous, so I suspect that the survivors tend to get nibbled at and then all nibblers quickly learn that eating them was a mistake. I think I posted about this upthread, but we had a "volunteer" (i.e., unplanted and unplanned) squash of some kind in our yard one summer. I contemplated eating it, but learned beforehand that in humans, common symptoms from eating volunteer squash include total hair loss as well as months-long bouts of diarrhea. I did not eat it.
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