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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. "Dad, start locking your car doors. Some homeless moron left his garbage in your car."
  2. It's a face of total panic, even when at rest.
  3. The Paul McCartney/Wings song. It's so goddamn long and terrible that it qualifies for this thread.
  4. He and I were kind of poking and needling each other and just being generally and intentionally obnoxious with each other - no real animus or spite behind it, at least until he inexplicably raised the stakes by pretending(?) to lock my phone by making repeated incorrect password guesses. Mrs. Doom had been pleading with both of us to just knock it off for a good while up until that point, so that was the immediate end to the shenanigans. We went on with our day, but the instant Mrs. Doom was out of earshot heading down the basement stairs ~30 minutes later, he immediately asked me, "you wanna fight? She's not here."
  5. What kind of degenerate buys used earbuds? Yuck.
  6. I wonder what the residents of "and surrounding" think about this.
  7. An old man (looks like Lute Olsen, except not dead) in my neighborhood has one of these (or some similar V12 of this era). He barely ever gets it above idle, at least whenever I've seen him, but it still sounds like magic whenever it passes by. And my contribution:
  8. I like to write "CAREFUL - THIS URINAL MAKES A MESS!" on them.
  9. Counterpoint: it's easier for old people to fuck in the back of a wagon than anywhere in any Z. Edit - sorry, I assumed that the Sportback was the name of the Buick wagon. It's not.
  10. Batmobile and 25 goth girlfriends.
  11. I don't know - I have given my dogs hundreds (thousands?) of Brown Helmets over the years.
  12. Surely you're savvy enough to know that this is just marketing-speak designed to appease wives before purchase and PI/PL attorneys after purchase.
  13. $33 on Amazon. I got a kick out of this particular thumbnail.
  14. That haircut makes his nose look big.
  15. If Willem Dafoe, Beavis, and Oscar the Grouch spawned.
  16. And there's always some not-quite-right proprietary fitment between the original toilet and the replacement parts, regardless of any alleged compatibility.
  17. He'll die of cancer before he can launch his campaign.
  18. That guy is perfectly cast. I appreciate how this commercial draws more attention to how stupid the Georgia "dog bark" thing is.
  19. There's still another episode left, isn't there?
  20. Sobelman's has the best cheeseburger in the world as far as I'm concerned. https://sobelmanspubandgrill.com/milwaukee-sobelman-s-food-menu
  21. I'd have gone past Webelos if most of these were on the menu.
  22. I dig the little "old timey stoplight" embellishment at the tip of the second hand.
  23. Sounds like the seal is still working. It's failed once you cease to get up before pissing...
  24. Lately he's been on a kick to "complete a big challenge" - sleeping outside overnight at the neighborhood park, underneath the jungle gym slide. I explained the concept of curfew to him, and he insisted that police wouldn't look at the park for kids out too late. I countered that the park was exactly where the police look for kids who are out too late, and tried to encourage him to instead consider spending the night hidden somewhere within the vast Cook County Forest Preserves near our house, which was more challenge than he was apparently interested in. When attempting to poke holes in this flight of fantasy, I asked him where he would go to the bathroom if he needed to go during his overnight adventure. "The world is my oyster," he replied. What if you get hungry? "I'll bring some Goldfish crackers. And hotdog buns." We discussed this undertaking throughout most of dinner, and then we watched the Illinois basketball game against UTRGV. It was a little closer than expected in the first half, so he asked Mrs. Doom if he could sleep at the park if Illinois lost. She agreed, and so he rooted against Illinois all game. He's still angling for this adventure today.
  25. External genitalia.
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