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Elvis

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Everything posted by Elvis

  1. I probably would have shot it to death.
  2. Wife looking to book our vacations, and she’s complaining about flight prices. I said gas prices are high, it’s going to be expensive. She says, “we’re not DRIVING to Florida!”
  3. Except for the crashing part. No wait. They both crashed. One of them was ……
  4. Sounds a lot like the scenario in the movie Flight.
  5. Elvis

    Shit My Kid Says

    It’s well documented
  6. Damn that could be a country song. Where’s Blake Shelton when you need him.
  7. So I got sick of birds watering themselves and their grubs in my spa spillways. I bought a pellet gun. I would be prone about 6 feet inside the house pointing out the back door. Yes that was necessary. The birds would fly if they heard the door or me. It was great fun until I shot one. Flipping and flopping and bleeding and dying in my hot tub. Also, I heard a window break about 90 yards away. I returned the gun that day.
  8. I don’t feel as big now
  9. $325 50” Roku Tv going on 4 years. Just sayin.
  10. Elvis

    Shit My Kid Says

    I was heading out to Thundercloud, and I asked my 12yo if he wanted a sandwich. "sure." Whatcha want? What are you getting? The usual. Want one? Well you seam like you know what you're doing. Damn right. Good boy.
  11. Maybe don't go bungee jumping in Zimbabwe "No Liability" Africa. I think the part where she had to swim down to free the rope from the rocks was the scariest part. Plus her feet were tied together. Fuck all that.
  12. Elvis

    Damn Space, You Scary

    Swing and a miss, God.
  13. A better Yellowstone is what we deserve.
  14. Fuck da police? Better title.
  15. Great thread. Five stars. What the fuck are crab people?
  16. I have plumbers and carpenters that will work in your area. I'm a GC. PM me.
  17. Or once they find out you have a big ass life insurance policy and then they realize you are worth more dead than alive. Watch your back.
  18. You just called a little girl a douche bag.
  19. Also, outdoor ceilling fans are a neusance. If they are off then they attract birds. Then birds shit on your furniture. So you have to keep then spinning all the time to keep birds from roosting. They also sag and fail quickly resulting in frequent replacement. I replaced patio fan with a wifi extender like the one below. That outdoor living space is pretty far from the house, and you will want good wifi out there for TVs, ipads, phones, music, etc. https://store.ui.com/products/uap-nanohd-us
  20. You might want something like this for your pool house too.... https://www.woodlanddirect.com/61-1-4-6000-watt-infratech-dual-heater/118147.html
  21. Pool equipment is from 2009, but the board was replaced in 2018 under a homeshield warranty. I'm in Round Rock. I found this.... https://saturationregion.blogspot.com/2020/01/help-my-aux-circuits-or-valves-stopped.html
  22. Out of warranty everything. Round Rock. Built 2009.
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