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BearSchlong

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Everything posted by BearSchlong

  1. In Trejo’s autobiography, which I own and cherish because his life is truly fascinating, he talks about how during his criminal childhood they avoided starting shit with average law abiding citizens because they were “Republicans” - which was his gang’s catch-all slang for people who would bring heat from law enforcement, not for people of any particular political affiliation. If you haven't read his book, I recommend it.
  2. All Sunday afternoons can't be awesome finishes. I was rooting for Schmid because I always root for people to win their first event. I woke up from my nap sometime during 60 Minutes and had to check the app to see who won.
  3. 8 x 10lb pork butts on the recteq for a church pulled pork luncheon tomorrow. Having to do 4 at a time since Ive only got the 590. First batch turned out excellent, overnight cook and the 2nd is approaching the stall. As I pulled in to take the 1st batch to put in the industrial sized fridges in the church kitchen I spotted my grandmother’s memorial stained glass window in the sanctuary and smiled to myself. And wondered if she was looking in from heaven thinking “we raised our brood well” or if she grabbed my grandfather and said “look, Howard, our grandson is a complete dumbass!” Probably the latter. I should probably make a deal with the building committee - I’ll continue to cook a few times a year, but they have to buy a huge Yoder, or I smell a deductible donation coming my way.
  4. My saintly grandmother used to write lengthy family letters with her IBM Selectric typewriter with the cursive font ball. I had sever framed, they are precious heirlooms.
  5. I may be wrong, but the alcohol industry is poised to buy/distribute THC infused drink manufacturers the same way they did microbrewers. They see it as an opportunity.
  6. Res ipsa loquitur. He certainly generated his own distractions.
  7. Whats the difference Between an epileptic oyster and an incontinent prostitute? The former you shuck between fits.
  8. I hope that works out for you. My only advice is to be rigorously honest with your docs. I was treated by the head of Psychiatry at UTHSC from 2004-2009 and in the end it turns out I was just a garden variety drunk.
  9. I still think if Scottie had a routine PGA last year in Louisvillle he wouldn't have had a letdown round on Saturday and would have won. Lets pretend for a moment that Tiger wasn't carrying the monkey of sex addiction and relationship issues on his back - injuries and head scratching swing changes notwithstanding, he was so dominant that he equals and surpasses Jack. I think Scottie’s upside is somewhere around Hogan and Palmer - 65 wins, 10 majors isn't far fetched. But I think he ends up with a slightly better overall career than Mickleson with 45 and 6. Comparing Scottie or anyone, really, to Tiger is ludicrous.
  10. I only fish light tackle and have been spooled more than a few times.
  11. Do you have a t-shirt that says “caution - do not look directly into laser with remaining eye?”
  12. Plus refereeing will help teach him how he can make/break people’s hearts on a whim. It will serve him well in life.
  13. Sorry to hear that. On the subject of names, my wife and I discussed it for a year before getting our new puppy. She wanted a bunch of names that I thought would be either cliche, overused, or tragedeighs (not gonna list them because I don't want to offend anyone) Matilda (Tillie) doesn't care that I'm feverish with covid and can't take her on a walk. I'm hopeful that steroid energy may intersect with puppy energy soon.
  14. Holy shit yesterday was the worst sick day of my life. Got started on antivirals, a z pack just because, and some steroids. 102 fever that wouldn't break until late in the day when I took a cool bath. Every molecule of my body hurt. Sunday night I grabbed a test kit from the back of my medical cabinet and it showed positive immediately. I guess today is day 2 and fever and body aches are gone, for now. Just posting as a PSA that its going around. I suspect I was exposed in Tampa, or on a flight to/from there.
  15. Start each day on the putting course, and play the cradle barefoot. Better yet, have some drinks at the deuce before and after the cradle.
  16. Just taking money from the states and pushing it at Musk while simultaneously owning the libs.
  17. NGL that article brought tears to my eyes. I stopped into a local joint for lunch earlier and was the only patron. I sat down and busied myself with my bank app, structuring my dry powder into some 90 day CDs, until some box faced bitch walked in wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a snowplow and “Trump Snowflake Removal.” I just looked at her in disgust.
  18. In other news, Charles Howell III earned $500k or so more than Scottie for a 2nd place finish in LIV’s little 54 hole tournament of eventual-winner BDC, unlikeables, random promising talents, unprincipled whores, and washed up has beens in Korea. Fatrick Reed was overheard commenting “fuck them kids” before surreptitiously lifting Ian Poulter’s wallet from his cart bag.
  19. I’m going to miss Warren on stage chomping on a dilly bar. I meant to go back to Omaha this weekend and use my discount to buy an Omega at Borsheim’s. What’s really impressive about Warren is he was able to successfully manage a throuple. “Warren? Yes, Susan? You’re a hopeless but ungodly rich OCD sweetheart, I’m feeling stifled and moving to San Francisco, but my friend Astrid is coming over to take care of all your needs.” Their kids accepted it, and they even sent Christmas cards together.
  20. I’m betting Scottie murders 18 after that chip on 17.
  21. No, it’s Bibigo’s fault.
  22. Now I’m craving Korean food.
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