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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by smuggs

  1. Years ago I had a Sony MP3 player with the regular flat-faced corded earbuds. They did the job at the gym but were never loud enough to fully mask the sounds of clanking weights, treadmills, people talking, etc... After 20-30 minutes of processing this auditory stew, my brain would be lulled into thinking that the cacophony in my ears was what everyone in the room could hear. So one day near the Lat pulldown machines I farted, loudly, thinking no one would hear it over all the noise. I then looked over to see an attractive and horrified young lady hustle away from the scene. I hope this helps.
  2. I don’t know why they call it “Hamburger Helper”, it does just fine by itself. I like it better than Tuna Helper, myself.
  3. I also managed to consistently earmark a few shillings to maintain my Street Fighter mastery at Le Fun.
  4. I liked their migas enchiladas. Stuffed avocado was tasty as well. Plenty of post-game boozing shenanigans at Northstar and Highland Lanes after company softball at the Havins back in the day. RIP.
  5. I let the bacon roll a few shades beyond DoD flaccid hog noodle.
  6. In honor of my LA homies. Hook Em Horns.
  7. I mean, the first one was shot with a Canon XL-1. A digital camcorder available for regular consumer purchase in 2002.
  8. Apparently this movie was shot entirely on an Iphone 15 Pro Max. 75mm dollar budget: https://www.wired.com/story/28-years-later-danny-boyles-new-zombie-flick-was-shot-on-an-iphone-15/
  9. Definitely makes the "Albums with spastic dancing giants" list. Agreed Midnight Oil kicks ass, btw.
  10. When I'm hungover like a dog and I want the Popeye's dropped on my doormat.
  11. My Grandad had two pigmy goats, Billy and Willy, when I was a kid. They were fun as hell with plenty of personality. But one day they went to live with a family friend after my Grandad looked out the window and observed a similar party happening on top of his 1982 Buick LeSabre.
  12. I wipe my ass with their midwestern-mayonnaised Hang On Sloopy sweater vests. Fucking dorks. FIGHT!
  13. Butter Krust and Big Red at Lake Travis Elementary circa '81. The Big Reds usually got snapped-up first.
  14. They had a guy pumping his stomach contents into a pitcher and Al Jourgensen came up on stage to drink a glass. After that a guy came out and started running meat skewers through his face and ass. I had to walk.
  15. Was at the Ft. Bend County fairgrounds for this one. The Jim Rose Circus Sideshow in 97 degree Houston humidity was too much to handle.
  16. I haven't thought of this band in decades. This is the only song I remember from them. As it relates to your story - this album should have been titled No Sex & Misery.
  17. My blasting point of License to Ill starts a little sooner at 0:01 of side A song 1 Rhymin and Stealin.
  18. Blind Melon fucks watermelons. Or cantaloupes, which are true melons. Saw them at Southpark in 94 when they opened for the Pumpkins. They came out directly after The Reverend Horton Heat and promptly put everyone to sleep.
  19. Tirico was hornballin' in the halls like a madman back in the day. Dude is the new Bob Costas now.
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