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Horn_Spanker

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Everything posted by Horn_Spanker

  1. All of U2 for Frank Zappa.
  2. Fort Hood has always been like this. I grew up in Bell County where Fort Hood incidents were always in the news. Once my day was on the Bell County grand jury, and he would leave all the paperwork on the kitchen table. Of course I went through it and Temple would have about a dozen cases, Belton, six or eight cases, but Killeen would have three to four pages of cases. Think about what type of person is a private in the Army during peace time. Kids who have fucked up somehow and the military is the last resort. First time away from home kids.
  3. How far to the nearest Michigan dispensary?
  4. Horn_Spanker

    Bob Seger

    Back in high school a buddy and I drive into the boonies to smoke a joint. On the way back we have Turn the Page blasting on the stereo. I say "Oh, and start giggling". He says "what?". I say, "I was about to turn on the stereo". He says "why didn't you?"
  5. Of all the schools I've heard "sealed off" this sprig due to someone with COVID, all the COVID carriers were custodians.
  6. I think I bought snake oil? The capsules did nothing no matter how many I took at a time. (but gave me the farts)
  7. Horn_Spanker

    High

  8. Had a small kale salad a little after noon today having not had any kind of salad for weeks. At 2pm, had instant diarrhea with undigested green kale floating everywhere. That shit shot through 25 feet of intestine in under 2 hours.
  9. Wait, you're white?
  10. We're still neighbors, unless you've moved?
  11. I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door, but these cocksuckers don't care. The past two Saturday mornings I've had Omnishield and Aptive pest control knock on my door. Neither sales rep were wearing a mask! Fuck these two companies!
  12. CNN sure did a shit job. Missed the take-off and cut when the first stage was 10 seconds to land on the barge.
  13. Is that Zach from Little People Big World?
  14. I don't want my neighbor's dog in my yard. When I confronted the owner, she said "he doesn't listen". Of course he doesn't, you stupid cunt, he's a fucking dog!
  15. WTF? Memorial Day without Kelly's Heroes?
  16. Granny and Jethro were not blood related.
  17. The telephone is my most hated modern invention. I automatically say "god dammit" every time it rings. I bet I make less than one call a week.
  18. I found entire 4ft units at Costco for about $20. I bought five and daisy chained them in my garage. Much better light.
  19. He was always a little hard on the Beaver.
  20. Yes, I thought is was people stopped giving a shit about using an image host? I stopped posting images because, why should I put out the effort to make sure they posted correctly when no one else does?
  21. Spent the last hour in my front yard with my dick in my hand, as if this was a Tuesday.
  22. Bingeing Season 2 now. Wife and I look at each other wondering why the hype? Is season 3 better than 2?
  23. Tonight at 10:30. "Wubba lubba dub dub!"
  24. Being a Texas boy, I've never seen one, but I married a couch burner and have had to hear about morels for thirty years. Evidently everyone has a secret place they go to collect them and these places are highly secret. Even though I've been in the family thirty years, no one has ever offered me one.
  25. Just binged watched Season 1 and 2. Quick 20 minute episodes, 8 episodes per season. Very entertaining, but I relate more by being old. I see why they got all the Emmy nominations.
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