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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. This is exactly what I do when I play Grand Theft Auto: V. It's a great strategy. Now he just needs to call Lester and get his wanted level removed.
  2. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    Turned 50 last week. I'm at work, getting some files from the cabinet and the phone rings. I have to navigate this chicane from one filing cabinet, around another, then to my desk. I get there and feel my back pop as I lunge for the phone. The motherfucker had already hung up.
  3. No. I'm free from color matching questions but I'm on-call for other shit. Mostly things like "Should I wear a coat?".
  4. This is one of the few times I am glad to be colorblind. She'll ask me about color options for whatever and I just say "Who are you asking?" and only then will she remember that I've been colorblind for the entirety of our 14 year marriage.
  5. Because I don't want 12 giant open rolls of paper towels gathering dust or whatever in my pantry. My wife calls it the pantry but it's a closet inside the laundry room, there's no food just cleaning supplies and assorted crap that Mitch Cumsteen's wife would appreciate.
  6. Went to Costco to get my paper towels. Came home and opened the package to discover that they don't individually wrap the rolls anymore, I guess. Now instead of putting the rolls on the shelves in the pantry, I have to find a place to store the whole giant package.
  7. My buddy wanted to name his first kid (a girl) after his dad, who has a unisex type of name. His dad said, please don't, I hate my name. They did it anyway but spelled it all fucked up, just to be different I guess. Years later, he told me "I regret that. She's gonna have people pronouncing her name wrong for the rest of her life".
  8. Shit, I know someone who used it for a couple of low level legal arguments (not in court) and he's 2-0. He loves that thing.
  9. It's just going to let her know which stuff she doesn't have yet. And another trip to Target will commence.
  10. Kirk has made $231MM, I'd take whatever advice he wanted to give me.
  11. LOL the backups are getting takeaways now.
  12. Well, there was one guy that just couldn't cut the mustard. We traded him to....wait a sec....
  13. Flipping around football games yesterday and watched some of the end of the Eagles game. They pan into the crowd and there's a guy wearing a cool hat. Not an eagles hat, I don't like the eagles at all. It looked like the old powder blue Phillies stuff they used to wear in the 70s. But it's not a phillies hat, it had something else written on it in the old phillies font. It took me under 2 minutes to find this hat online. It's from a surf shop in New Jersey, of all places. It just made me think about when I was a kid watching a movie or tv show, and I'd see a guy wearing a cool t-shirt or hat or something and wish I had that. There was no way to figure out where the item was from or how to get it. Now I can find out in minutes.
  14. I'm colorblind and at first glance, I always think its the South Africa flag.
  15. Someone said "They solved this murder before the Dallas Cowboys made another NFC championship game", which is gold.
  16. I don't get these old-ass politicians. Why don't they just go home and spend their remaining years with their grandkids and great-grandkids? Do they hate their families too much or do their families hate them? It can't be the money, none of those pricks are poor. Is the allure of power too much to overcome? If I have to listen to my 76 year old dad tell the same damn story for the 100th time, their families should have to do the same.
  17. I'm in Oklahoma and I'd like to stab you with a rusty spoon. I'm paying over $3200 a year for what I'm sure is much less house. The weather up here fucks us royally.
  18. I mean, I took all of my resume photos next to this tree. It's like family! I called the project manager and explained how the tree has been cut up and how I'm concerned about the stability and would like it to be removed. I think he was caught off guard and was expecting me to bitch about how much I loved the tree. He said he would talk to his superintendent and one of them would be in contact.
  19. I had a letter put on my front door last week, stating that my city (not in Texas FWIW) had contracted them to replace a sanitary sewer pipe in my area. The letter stated that they would excavate a hole in my yard and take down some fence panels but when they were done, they would put everything back as it was. I called the project manager, who listed his contact info on the letter, and asked for further details. He said the same thing, that they would determine where the pipe is and dig a hole and blah blah. I was satisfied with what he said. I came home Monday and found that my yard looked like a WW1 battlefield. I get it, dirt comes out of a hole and it has to go somewhere, no biggie. But the area in which they're working is right along my back fence, where there happens to be a large tree. There was a large backhoe in there and to get the backhoe where it needed to be, they have cut off a decent sized portion of my tree. Now, I don't like this tree and it is starting to lean towards my neighbor's yard and I'd love to have it cut down. The area of the tree they have cut off is near the bottom, so I'm concerned it might be a little top heavy. Combine that with the dirt being dug up and now I wonder if that make is even more unstable. I was thinking about calling the project manager again and telling him my concerns and see if they would just cut the tree down. I'd even be willing to kick in a little cash but I'm not gonna say that unless he brought it up. I don't want to just be some complaining Karen but if they hadn't come in and dug shit up, I'm not having these concerns about the tree right now. Would asking for them to cut the tree down be an asshole move?
  20. My wife and I were chatting when she got home from work yesterday, talking about our days. She mentioned that her assistant was going to be off on Thursday and Friday. I asked why and she said "That's the anniversary of her mom's death and she always takes off that day". I stopped for a second and realized that the anniversary of my mom's death....is today. 16 years ago. It seems like much longer. My sister and I used to call and talk on this date every year, but I don't remember doing that for quite a few years. I was going to call my dad for unrelated reasons but now I think I'll wait till tomorrow. I don't know if he'll bring it up and I just can't handle listening to him talk about it.
  21. 90% of the time after I hang up the phone after a call from a customer (or anyone outside the office), I'm muttering "Stupid motherfucker" under my breath. And I know they'll never stop calling. I have at least 10 more years of this.
  22. I don't think my mother ever filled up her own car. My dad would go out whenever it got low and gas it up. When I was younger, he'd ask me if I wanted to go, and it was some nice father/son bonding.
  23. I used to watch my wife iron. Now I watch her use the steamer. Fuck ironing.
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