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MissingInAction

Burnt Ends
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Everything posted by MissingInAction

  1. Love the bungee skit because bouncy reasons.
  2. What's turnips favorite sports channel? ESPN Deportes.
  3. I volunteer for the eventual eugenics sex camps. The ginger race must go on! Line up ladies!
  4. It will happen, and will escalate.
  5. That and y'all forget how quickly constrictor sneks pounce and coil up their prey. It's instantaneous.
  6. At the 99 Nebraska game, hammered of course. Went to take a piss and a short Nebraska fan came up to the urinal next me. So I put my elbow on his head for support. He pissed on my shoes. I just laughed like the drunken idiot I am.
  7. Good thing I'm fluent in redneck.
  8. Got mine right before Thanksgiving. To avoid rising prices and be sure I can drive to Canada if necessary.
  9. At my annual check up my Doc was visibly angry when I told her i haven't had a booster yet. Highly recommend asian female doctors. They don't fuck around.
  10. I hope we get a sequel.
  11. I watched the pilot while dosing on two tabs of LSD. Ruined the show for me forever.
  12. Yes, and you must have your birth certificate. I presented my state issued badge and a federal ID when I renewed my DL and they gave zero fucks.
  13. Half my friends are first generation Americans born of immigrants from all over the world. Amazingly some of those immigrants are trumpkins. Their kids not so much. I truly fear for them, and that alone is something no one should ever feel in this so called land of the free. I keep a copy of my birth certificate readily accessible just in case. My DL has a gold star on it. I'm sure it's just for travel reasons.
  14. Dude, believe me. It already is. That shit is a God damn religion. Whatever credibility that fuck nut had with nerds is gone.
  15. Looks like my MRI tech. Good thing I was dosed up while she strapped me onto the table.
  16. This place does not suffer fools. The moose out front should've told you.
  17. I want that inside me.
  18. He will be the reason we pick up an A list receiver or two in the portal. Maybe even a Popeyes employee.
  19. Blessed are the cheese makers.
  20. I could eat that in one bite. God damn that looks perfect.
  21. Not one has ever spit. Make a few humanitarian visits and you will understand.
  22. You haven't lived until you've had a gummer.
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