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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. Wait, your Drill Instructors didn't constantly bombard you with contradictory and impossible orders to prepare you for shit like this? The Corps must have changed a lot between my time and yours.
  2. Well, yeah. Diarrhea don't care about pants.
  3. Yes, I'm sure. I have pissed myself from fear, but never shit myself from fear. Weird, but I'm weird, so it checks out.
  4. If I ever got fuck you money a DeHaviland Mosquito would be my ride. Probably my death, too, a la Second Hand Lions.
  5. This isn't getting nearly enough love.
  6. I love "The Star Spangled Banner", "America The Beautiful", "The Marines' Hymn", and other patriotic songs, but the one that makes me cry every time is "The Stars And Stripes Forever". Every damn time. Best march of all time, with the best trombone part of all time.
  7. Got an alarm from the wastewater plant I worked at that the power was out. This was in the middle of a storm with what was later determined to be 100 mph straight line winds and very heavy rain. Instead of waiting for it to settle down, my dumb ass gets in the car and heads in. I was on a bridge crossing a creek when the wind caught my car and turned it 90° right. Instantly the view of the road ahead was replaced with the guard rail, then just as suddenly it was the road ahead. I was even located in the center of the lane, just as before. I would have doubted my senses except for the piss in my britches and the skid marks on the road the next morning. All's well, so I head on to the plant. I get to the plant, get out of the car, and hear a really strange noise. I look for the source of the sound an I see two pine trees on the neighboring property, about 50 feet tall whipping back and forth in the wind. The strange noise was the tops of the trees slapping the ground and the wood fibers pulling apart. That was all I needed to see. I went into the office building and waited out the storm. The next day, the trees were still standing, but they were crooked, and died in very short order. The owner of the property later told me that, after he cut them down, only the pulp mill in Lufkin would take the trunks. They were too torn up for lumber. That was the last time I heroed in during a storm.
  8. Played high school football Friday nights. Drove long distances several times to watch high school playoff games with no relatives on either team. Drove two and a half hours just to get good barbecue. Fished most of the Texas coast from Galveston to Port Mansfield. Helped neighbors round up cattle that got loose. Swam in stock tanks, the Gulf, various lakes, and the Frio. Measure travel distances in hours rather than miles. Camped in the backyard, at the Guadalupe Mountains, Palo Duro Canyon, and uncounted other Texas state parks. Vacationed in Colorado and New Mexico to get out of the heat. Smoked meat outside in July and August. Bought land that I have no intention of ever letting go. (I know that it is more Texan to steal land, but opportunities are much more limited than in the past.) Been to the Alamo and San Jacinto, and respect the participants on both sides of each.
  9. I hate it, but I think this is correct. I also think that Russia will continue to attack Ukraine regardless of treaties, agreements, or peacekeepers. Drones, missiles, cyber attacks, and the time honored practice of buying politicians. Peace will only be a relative state.
  10. I can't open them, either, no matter the platform that I try. And I'm damned if I'm signing up for Twitter.
  11. This. As military systems become increasingly complex and new technologies are incorporated, it is almost impossible for new systems to be ready "out of the box". The Bradley was particularly a victim of being expected to fill too many different roles. Most of the critics expected it to essentially be a main battle tank that carried troops, and that is not what it was proposed to do. Even if the expectations for the Bradley had been kept to the basic premise of the system, there would still have been a period of maturation. For example, as great as the F-15 is, we are flying and fighting C, D, and E models, not the original system. The current F-18s are the E and F models, and significantly larger than the original models. Systems inevitably mature and develop. That doesn't make the original systems bad.
  12. How long will it be before one of these nasty bastards tries to claim that his freedom of religion is being infringed?
  13. Added to the list. Thanks.
  14. Absolutely not. I'm a year ahead of you and have a bucket list of dino museums to visit. The Field in Chicago, the Museum of the Rockies in Bozeman, hell, anywhere with dinosaur bones. I have a piece of dinosaur bone and two dinosaur coprolites on my desk in front of me right now. No, man, you rock your dinomania, no matter what age you are.
  15. A bunch of cowards who were at Uvalde just breathed a big sigh of relief.
  16. You have to watch that. I used to honk at them, until one morning on my way into work I pulled up to pass a car that was weaving around like the driver was really tired. Not into the other lane, but close sometimes, and hitting the rumble strips on the other side. As I pulled alongside I looked at the driver to see what was the matter. It was a fat bitch with the visible IQ of potato, texting on her phone and hollering at the kid in the back seat. She started to drift my way, so I honked. Bad move. She freaked the fuck out and pulled straight at me. I went to the inside shoulder and gunned it out of her way as she nearly went into the dividing barriers. She couldn't have missed by more that six inches, at 70 mph. I don't honk anymore. I just get past them at the first opportunity and put as much space between us as possible as rapidly as possible. Anyone who damn well wants to, that's who.
  17. Damn, I'm going to hell. Again, still, something.
  18. I'd have said, "I need a ride AND ammunition."
  19. Damn, I've been there. I was almost homicidal. The relief from the novocaine, then the drilling, was exquisite. The only worse pain that I've ever experienced was a weekend of dry socket after getting both of my lower wisdom teeth removed. God, I love clove oil and pain killer packing.
  20. The part of this whole thing that is keeps blowing me away is how many Eastern European nations are so suddenly amenable to having German troops on their soil and German weapons helping provide for their defense. We're a long way from where we were when I was a kid in the 70s. I understand why, it's just such a change from what I grew up thinking were immutable facts.
  21. There's a reason for that. As it was told to me, when the boundary between New Mexico and the Texas Panhandle was surveyed, Texas got to hire the surveyors. They "somehow" got 13 miles off, to the west, of course, from the line that they were supposed to survey. It was supposed to line up with the western border of Oklahoma. The current line was used for a while before New Mexico figured it out and took the dispute to the Supreme Court. The Court was persuaded that it would cause too much difficulty to sort out private land boundaries, county lines, and back taxes, so they let it stand. At least, that what I've been told. Now I'm going to have to look up the real story. TL,DR: A state that wouldn't cheat for land don't want it enough. ETA - According to the Texas Historical Association online handbook entry on borders, the western border of the Texas Panhandle is supposed to be the 103rd meridian. The surveying "error" was two miles west of the actual 103rd meridian. Congress confirmed that boundary as surveyed in a joint resolution on February 16, 1911.
  22. Obviously I wouldn't make it long in the Mafia or as a Russian oligarch. Laid out like you did, I can see where possession of a nuke for Prigozhin would be more of a bargaining chip with the West that with Putler. I think that Prigozhin is a worm feast before the end of July, whatever chips he may have. No one in Belarus is going to get in the way of anyone who comes to drink some tea with him, or show him the view from the top floor.
  23. Threats to Pringles' family would help explain his pulling back, but I think that he wasn't able to get his hands on any of the nukes at Voronezh, and that undercut his position, too, making it entirely untenable. Seems to me that even one nuke would be enough of a threat to stay in the game. Then, again, if he had a nuke but no way to trigger it, it would not be much of a bargaining chip.
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