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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. I want to be cremated and sprinkled at the base of one of the oak trees on my place. No other marker needed. As I read once, "Now let the wind close in over me, and my place know me no more forever."
  2. My mom was born in Mississippi, but she would tell you that she was a Texan the minute she stepped on Texas soil. If you disagreed with her, she'd whip your ass or wear you out trying. Texan is a state of mind, not a birthright.
  3. I'm almost ashamed that I knew which Senator it was from the second question and awkwardness of the whole scene.
  4. @WhatTheBuck you might want to get a pro to check that out. A quick Google says that a 1943 steel penny with no mint mark might have a good bit of value.
  5. He was hoping for that wild monkey love on vacation, and he got it. Just not like he pictured it.
  6. Wait, your Drill Instructors didn't constantly bombard you with contradictory and impossible orders to prepare you for shit like this? The Corps must have changed a lot between my time and yours.
  7. Well, yeah. Diarrhea don't care about pants.
  8. Yes, I'm sure. I have pissed myself from fear, but never shit myself from fear. Weird, but I'm weird, so it checks out.
  9. If I ever got fuck you money a DeHaviland Mosquito would be my ride. Probably my death, too, a la Second Hand Lions.
  10. This isn't getting nearly enough love.
  11. I love "The Star Spangled Banner", "America The Beautiful", "The Marines' Hymn", and other patriotic songs, but the one that makes me cry every time is "The Stars And Stripes Forever". Every damn time. Best march of all time, with the best trombone part of all time.
  12. Got an alarm from the wastewater plant I worked at that the power was out. This was in the middle of a storm with what was later determined to be 100 mph straight line winds and very heavy rain. Instead of waiting for it to settle down, my dumb ass gets in the car and heads in. I was on a bridge crossing a creek when the wind caught my car and turned it 90° right. Instantly the view of the road ahead was replaced with the guard rail, then just as suddenly it was the road ahead. I was even located in the center of the lane, just as before. I would have doubted my senses except for the piss in my britches and the skid marks on the road the next morning. All's well, so I head on to the plant. I get to the plant, get out of the car, and hear a really strange noise. I look for the source of the sound an I see two pine trees on the neighboring property, about 50 feet tall whipping back and forth in the wind. The strange noise was the tops of the trees slapping the ground and the wood fibers pulling apart. That was all I needed to see. I went into the office building and waited out the storm. The next day, the trees were still standing, but they were crooked, and died in very short order. The owner of the property later told me that, after he cut them down, only the pulp mill in Lufkin would take the trunks. They were too torn up for lumber. That was the last time I heroed in during a storm.
  13. Played high school football Friday nights. Drove long distances several times to watch high school playoff games with no relatives on either team. Drove two and a half hours just to get good barbecue. Fished most of the Texas coast from Galveston to Port Mansfield. Helped neighbors round up cattle that got loose. Swam in stock tanks, the Gulf, various lakes, and the Frio. Measure travel distances in hours rather than miles. Camped in the backyard, at the Guadalupe Mountains, Palo Duro Canyon, and uncounted other Texas state parks. Vacationed in Colorado and New Mexico to get out of the heat. Smoked meat outside in July and August. Bought land that I have no intention of ever letting go. (I know that it is more Texan to steal land, but opportunities are much more limited than in the past.) Been to the Alamo and San Jacinto, and respect the participants on both sides of each.
  14. I hate it, but I think this is correct. I also think that Russia will continue to attack Ukraine regardless of treaties, agreements, or peacekeepers. Drones, missiles, cyber attacks, and the time honored practice of buying politicians. Peace will only be a relative state.
  15. I can't open them, either, no matter the platform that I try. And I'm damned if I'm signing up for Twitter.
  16. This. As military systems become increasingly complex and new technologies are incorporated, it is almost impossible for new systems to be ready "out of the box". The Bradley was particularly a victim of being expected to fill too many different roles. Most of the critics expected it to essentially be a main battle tank that carried troops, and that is not what it was proposed to do. Even if the expectations for the Bradley had been kept to the basic premise of the system, there would still have been a period of maturation. For example, as great as the F-15 is, we are flying and fighting C, D, and E models, not the original system. The current F-18s are the E and F models, and significantly larger than the original models. Systems inevitably mature and develop. That doesn't make the original systems bad.
  17. How long will it be before one of these nasty bastards tries to claim that his freedom of religion is being infringed?
  18. Added to the list. Thanks.
  19. Absolutely not. I'm a year ahead of you and have a bucket list of dino museums to visit. The Field in Chicago, the Museum of the Rockies in Bozeman, hell, anywhere with dinosaur bones. I have a piece of dinosaur bone and two dinosaur coprolites on my desk in front of me right now. No, man, you rock your dinomania, no matter what age you are.
  20. A bunch of cowards who were at Uvalde just breathed a big sigh of relief.
  21. You have to watch that. I used to honk at them, until one morning on my way into work I pulled up to pass a car that was weaving around like the driver was really tired. Not into the other lane, but close sometimes, and hitting the rumble strips on the other side. As I pulled alongside I looked at the driver to see what was the matter. It was a fat bitch with the visible IQ of potato, texting on her phone and hollering at the kid in the back seat. She started to drift my way, so I honked. Bad move. She freaked the fuck out and pulled straight at me. I went to the inside shoulder and gunned it out of her way as she nearly went into the dividing barriers. She couldn't have missed by more that six inches, at 70 mph. I don't honk anymore. I just get past them at the first opportunity and put as much space between us as possible as rapidly as possible. Anyone who damn well wants to, that's who.
  22. Damn, I'm going to hell. Again, still, something.
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