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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. I think she did do the quick nasty, it's running down her leg, and she can't think about anything else.
  2. Having trouble believing that even while sleeping, not one Page had a phone on.
  3. DeSantis dials up Jack Smith 3 times a day with hints and suggestions.
  4. 25 people? A common class size. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hello Class, I'm Mr. DeSantis, you can call me Mr. D, and I need you all to listen up because I'm going to call the roll. After I call the roll, tell me if your name was not on the roll and we'll make a note to the office. After the roll we'll discuss the Woke Narra-- I mean The Narrative and you'll need to put your phones up and get ready to write some notes. Then we'll-- "Scuse me Mr. D." Can it wait til the roll? "I don't know, Mr. D." Well (sigh) what's your name? "wha-- Are you taking roll?" [long slow breath] Yes. Taking roll just for you. What's your name? "Jerry." OK, Jerry, what seems to be the problem. "Did you say your name was also Mr. Scott?" Mr. Scott? As in Tim Scott? Yes. Yes, you've got me. I am obviously he. "For real?" [head bobbles] No not for real, are you deaf? I said first thing that my name is DeSantis. "Well where is Mr. Scott's speech?" what- ah-eh I DON'T KNOW. Do I look like I run Tim Scott's campaign? Maybe check out in the hall, see what it says on the events bulletin board. "Mr. D?" YES [checks notes] Jerry. "Permission to be excused?" YES. YES. You are excused. Everybody's excused. Go. Go. [most of the crowd shuffles out except for Grammaw and Gum-Smacking Escort Who Follows Presidential Campaigns] Grammaw: This Tim Scott looks almost white, but he's shorter than I expected. Escort: Short or long, it's all a day at work. HEY GOVERNOR. [waves phone] I got me a Square reader that'll accept campaign expenses! Wanna come get some thigh food? [DeSantis' head bobbles, sweat trickling down forehead as camera slowly moves in and FADE]
  5. No info on the Pikes, but back in my day the Sigma Chi's were like Medici patrons of the arts in that they would commission cartoon banners and pay cash for them as well as invite the artist to eat and of course come drink beer at the party where the banner was unveiled. Usually an Otis Day and the Knights type band and lots of dudes standing around talking about what their dads did. Hi, my dad's a biker, yes I would like another beer.
  6. "Girding." Buncha Trump lawyers cinching up their Batman utility belts.
  7. Well, uh... go around to bars in quiet parts of towns in France and (twenty+ years ago) you would regularly encounter conspiracy nuts who could go toe-to-toe with our Qtards. And tons of "normal" people who, yes, may be walking past historical sites every day, but their knowledge of the world came from one or two tv shows. Also a bit of cynicism of the "You may fool ze ozzairs but you weel not fool ME!" Very Franch. Mexico runs in the same groove as France, with an extra scoop of knee-jerk cinicismo. I don't know about other countries but these two are where I lived, worked, and had byzantine theories trotted out to me. I don't think we've ever been non-dumb, but with conspiracies it's just now catching up to France.
  8. You could still go, without the bus or the other people.
  9. There's no kill shot in any of that. They need to go right to the nekkit pictures of Tubs with a greased-up Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
  10. If you try to think about something really boring while you're doing it it helps with that.
  11. So microwaving turtle bones would be a quitting-the-job power move.
  12. I see it as Guido Gov heard the Rocky Music in his head, and as Caesar he commanded the gladiators to entertain him, his Guidette Empress, and his little squirming Guido-lings.
  13. I don't give a damn about any of y'alls' sticky kids.
  14. These people are afraid to even drive downtown. And you know if they get passports that's just how the Deep State follows you like a chip in a dog. There'll be the occasional younger Lee Harvey Oswald type drifting around the Dr. Evil countries, but Ma and Pa aren't giving up that Sam's Club membership. Now where's my favorite scooter cart.
  15. Rookie. You never steal anything worth less than a year's salary.
  16. We are getting our roof redone tomorrow morning by gentlemen from all over Central America. They're supposed to be in and out fast before the oven really heats up, and I hate to distract dudes working 30' up, but I wonder how many of them GTFO of Florida.
  17. One way we can fight Nazis is to drop all the whoop-de-doo Kraut talk, and just call it a sun wheel.
  18. Pretty sure the French Government seized those as World Heritage Sites. French wasn't even invented when Brat smoothed out that ochre pigment.
  19. Stopped by the coin shop with the largest inventory around here, they sometimes have my addictions (gold pesos, 20 francs, sovereigns) at low premiums. The visit was recon-- just paid off the credit card, still looking to save some cash by month's end. That was all unnecessary. They asked me to do some paintings for them, I'm to be paid a handful of gold pesos. Goblin Time y'all.
  20. Sooner or later all these scans have to give us super powers.
  21. Did OP survive? I remember drinkin down that drank, the night ticking by, wondering "Is this stuff ever going to kick in?" But then that switch flips, and you're leavin shit contrails through the night sky...
  22. He is at heart the Cafeteria Man. And nothing gets him going more than the Cafeteria Lady.
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