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Rudiger

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Rudiger

  1. So should I go ahead and put on my tinfoil hat now?
  2. Joke’s on you guys. You can’t get it wet because it will rust, so you don’t actually NEED the windshield wiper.
  3. “WITH AUTHORIT—well, it went in at least.”
  4. Pig scrambles at a small town rodeo. Throwing bales of hay on a truck in summer.
  5. Who told the police that story? The dog?
  6. Rudiger

    Shit My Kid Says

    My four-year-old daughter playing some game by herself: “bitch took my makeup.”
  7. Seems awfully lenient.
  8. The most likely answer is some studio guitarist few people have ever heard of.
  9. Hard to say without any metrics for judging “best,” but Eric Johnson is pretty good.
  10. Theory 7: They’re a cult of idiotic weirdos.
  11. She’s got kinda stumpy legs.
  12. Kid’s doing the Oedipus thing all wrong.
  13. The ol’ skullet. Nice.
  14. I’m hearing the banging that’s been reported sounded eerily like “GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”
  15. Is he still allowed to post his paystubs on internet forums though?
  16. I’m not really a car guy, but why is that Corvette covered in all those little prancing horses?
  17. By definition, wouldn’t a total package also be fast?
  18. Best epitaph ever.
  19. Touché. But then again, Quato was leader of the Martian resistance, so he had that going for him.
  20. Or maybe like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.
  21. I live on the coast 15 miles west of San Juan. The constant strong breeze makes so much of a difference.
  22. “Please sir, can I have some Mao?”
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