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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. If you woke up dead, that would be an Annus Mirabilius
  2. Well, Reggie never deserved his in the first place
  3. Someone saw the MOB’s script and called the Lt. Governor and told him they were going to make fun of him
  4. That seems like a really shitty thing to do. I'm going to blame it on Abbot.
  5. I'm pretty sure that America's founders only considered straight white male protestants to be people
  6. Here's a nice place just a few blocks from the stadium that's still available
  7. That's really too bad, JFF would have made a perfect Cowboy
  8. My birthday is Friday. As much as I prefer to just forget about it, my daughter will never let me. This year I think I'm going to propose that I celebrate my birthday by taking a bunch of dog treats with me, my daughter, Sebastian, and her stupid chihuahua to the dog park. I might as well spend my birthday with the only people I can really stand..... my daughter and a bunch of dogs.
  9. Our future theocratic authoritarian dictatorship will love you
  10. Just because you aren't breathing now doesn't mean all of a (please note it's not "the") sudden I like you now and am coming to your funeral
  11. Seems like an odd way to celebrate a friend's death
  12. Sebastian's best friend at the dog park is a Lab named Bregman
  13. This is just another liberal conspiracy to undermine the oil and gas industry here in our great state
  14. I would do that too if there were people that I liked, but my dog rarely flies unaccompanied
  15. In an intellectual battle between Ted Cruz and a Barbie, Ted is at a severe disadvantage
  16. All four can go as far as I'm concerned
  17. I remember how excited I was when I upgraded my modem from 300 baud to 1,200 baud.
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