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Kennythetiger

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Everything posted by Kennythetiger

  1. When I was in the college dormitory my freshman year, this was the “popular” prank to do in the cafeteria. Always pissed off because our food was damn good. Twenty-five years later I still catch myself checking salt and pepper shaker lids in restaurants.
  2. Our only chain gas station is a Casey’s. Their employee turnover rate is higher than that of the Texas Longhorns’ head coach position. They might have bacon, egg, and cheese croissants on the breakfast warmer, but probably not. They might have sausage pizza on the lunch warmer, but probably not. However, as dependable as at least one of the gas pumps being out of order is a fully-stocked supper warmer at 7:45 p.m. The employees are instructed to shut down the food equipment and throw away everything leftover at 8:00 p.m. They load up that warmer with fresh pizza right before closing time.
  3. Greg Louganis ain’t laughing.
  4. Toast the bread with butter and garlic salt and that was a regular college meal for me. Would use pork sausage or venison sausage sometimes to change it up.
  5. It’s the “saying” part in our house.
  6. Isn’t that top one a shark and a fake seal?
  7. I wonder if their Zoom meetings are as fucked-up as ours are. “Chancellor? Chancellor, we can’t hear you. You have to unmute yourself.”
  8. When did Mike Myers die, and who is Tits McGee on the front row?
  9. Maybe she just wanted the pool to herself.
  10. No. She never crashed. She was in the Witness Protection Program.
  11. Careful what you wish for. They go too far and you’re going to get 20-minute stories and arrive late everywhere you go together.
  12. Disparage Ms. Derek again and I will meet you outside at noon, sir.
  13. My grandma never fried chicken. Neither did my mom. Have you ever heard of knip? Hard K.
  14. Ten of you and you asked for separate checks? Were the other nine people women?
  15. I’ve caught plenty that weren’t abandoned.
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