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Your Mom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Your Mom

  1. I’m not defending QE from last year, nor am I believing the coachspeak yet that he has improved. Just saying that putting any stock at all into a hype video of a guy throwing to wide open receivers in a game where he knows he cannot be hit is silly. If he outplays Quinn in real games I’ll be right there with everybody calling for change. These spring games might mimic game day with regards to the team schedule, locker room and sideline routines, getting plays out etc… but the play on the field just isn’t even close to game day atmosphere. We don’t know jack shit about anyone on the team that we didn’t already know Friday.
  2. Austin begins sucking when you turn 35 and it’s a gradual slide to nearly unbearable by the time you turn 45. It doesn’t matter what decade this occurs in. If you were here in the 1970s it began sucking in the 80s. If you grew up in the 90’s it sucked by ‘08. All of our kids will be reminiscing about when Austin was great back in the 2020’s before it changed. The crowd that cried over Liberty Lunch being gone sounded just as ridiculous to the previous generation as these fucksticks whining about Rainey St losing its character sound to us. Rinse and repeat for every generation.
  3. That looks great. But let’s be honest, a wall that obscures the neighbors’ view into the hot tub was never really about having a place to hang a TV was it?
  4. The way Maalik Jedi-mind-tricks those DBs into absolutely refusing to be within 5 steps of any receiver is impressive. Must be nice to have the fan base judge you on your ability to thread the needle into a spot 5 yards wide. He might end up being the love child of Vince and Colt but you wouldn’t know it based on silly clips like these.
  5. The ground stop was lifted and service resumed.
  6. I could do it while wrecking a chimpanzee.
  7. I’m always down with a nice ham wallet.
  8. Fixed.
  9. I mean the video ended with the guy on his feet, the thieves running away, and his car intact and undamaged.
  10. Does it have to be in Austin? It’s probably been 20 years since I had a bank that has a branch in Austin. Most credit unions have shared branch partners you can conduct business in if you actually need the brick and mortar building. On the rare occasion, I need to deposit cash or deposit a check that’s larger than the mobile app can handle, I do it at a local UFCU since they parted with my work CU from Dallas.
  11. Some quick thinking and the right ventilation could’ve gotten in the ballpark of 225° and turned lemons into lemonade.
  12. Wow so much to unpack here. Outside of the very first statement here, up to the ellipsis, this is just...incoherent. Texas is not culturally "in the South," I agree with that. That's because Texas is culturally, well, Texas. Surely people here remember the ad campaign, "Texas...it's like a whole 'nother country?" That is possibly the truest statement about Texas, culturally, as there ever was. Texas, first and foremost, is ALL ABOUT SOME TEXAS. Can you go to a roadside gas station in Evansville, Indiana, and find state-of-Indiana-themed stuff everywhere? Not that I've seen. Want to make Texas shaped pancakes? Got you. Want a freaking $10k BBQ grill shaped like Texas? Yassir. Want an in-ground pool shaped like Texas? Got it on special this week hoss. Ever see an Illinois-edition vehicle? There's a Texas Edition of just about every pickup truck AND full-size SUV - you can use it to tow your Texas-shaped grill to your house full of Texas Lone Star decor with your Texas-shaped pool in the backyard. In a weird way, Texas is it's own avatar - a caricature of itself - and MANY residents embrace it so completely that it's just part of the fabric. Texas is not akin to the Mountain States, though some residents of El Paso likely sympathize with what's important in New Mexico - since New Mexico is closer than Austin. (Fun facts: El Paso is closer by mileage to California than it is to the Sabine River - Texas's eastern border. Port Arthur, TX is closer, mileage-wise, to Chicago than it is to El Paso.) Dallas sucks, IMO, but it is not culturally aligned with the midwest - try wearing jeans, a suit jacket, and a cowboy hat to an auto executive meeting in Detroit and tell me how that goes. West of a line between Tyler and Houston (which is only about a third of the state north to south) is San Antonio which has about as much in common with southern Illinois as ancho chile salsa on tacos has with ranch dressing on chicken tenders. Slow-smoked BBQ brisket (which is, you know, beef) is freaking fantastic. Don’t let yourself get triggered over what some Deep South inbred fucks think of us. We are not a cultural match with most of the SEC and it would be a shame if we aspired to or if we stooped to trying to convince them we fit it. We don’t need to fit in. Who gives a shit.
  13. I’ve never been but years ago, perhaps on the old board, there was a thread about that place. It had cult status as the best tacos in Dallas.
  14. We rented a car in Frankfurt and drove down there. Driving is easy there, similar rules, right side of the road, whatever map app you use here works there just as good. We stayed in Interlaken. It’s the bigggest town of the three. There is a train station there. We did day trips to the other towns. Grindelwald was the most appealing to me, but Interlaken has more hotels and restaurants. The are all maybe 20 or 30 minutes from each other. We did a kayak tour on Lake Brienne. Another day we took a tram up from Grindelwald to Kleinne Scheidegg and hiked a very easy 3 miles to Alpiglen and then a cog train back down to where we had started in Grindelwald after lunch staring up at the Eiger. It’s was amazing. The hiking isn’t nearly as strenuous as you’d think. The trams and trains take care of all the elevation for you and you aren’t as far above sea level as the mountains would lead you to believe. https://swissfamilyfun.com/jungfrau-region-eiger-trail/
  15. They were both fucking stupid. One died for his stupidity and the other is going away for a long time for his.
  16. All the thoughts and prayers appear to have turned bullets into confetti. Multiple tweets saying the gunshots were actually party poppers
  17. Yeah prayers ought to help.
  18. I’ve never used the app but Home Depot has a great system for that, telling you the aisle and the exact bay on that aisle, with every bay being marked in store.
  19. Woof
  20. Maybe his argument will be, “Paying off porn stars is something my trailer trash base actually applauds. Therefore by trying to keep it quiet Cohen was harming my campaign, not helping it.”
  21. Isn’t it just assumed that we are conducting as much surveillance on them as they are on us?
  22. This. I’ve shared the electrokic key with my kids many times and the hotel never would have known if I was actually with them or not. Check if the hotel actually has electronic keys though, I think a few Hilton properties still don’t.
  23. Your autobiography?
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