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mr. sunshine

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Everything posted by mr. sunshine

  1. Used it for over three years and had very few problems
  2. So from El Campo to Austin to College Station. Who planned this trip? The Donner party?
  3. The real tragedy would be if this hurts his wife’s career as an attention whore
  4. It looks like the skin condition Seal has. All I can say is if Heidi Klum’s pussy couldn’t cure it it’s incurable
  5. Come on. Whits Zombie was the Slim Whitman/White Zombie mashup we were all asking for and you know it
  6. I’ve used more glue fixing my Nike running shoes than the kid who made them
  7. We had it on VHS when I was a kid so we’d just fast forward to the murder ball scenes. Never saw the whole thing
  8. I live in a massive penthouse apartment in New York City. The only thing missing was that online bachelor’s degree from Strayer University
  9. I haven’t seen a gut like that since right before John Hurt’s blew up in Alien
  10. We’ve got a bye week here so there’s almost two weeks to celebrate Chris Plonsky being fired without any distractions
  11. Tell us more about your peepee. You’ve never been so interesting
  12. Sounds like something good to watch after smoking a bowl. What can I say man I love puppies
  13. Team 1 here. Team 2 must not realize worst character and shittiest person aren’t the same thing
  14. Just like I assume anyone with his sunglasses perched on top of the flat bill of his designer cap is a major douche I’ll now apply the same assumption to anyone in a sleeveless hoodie
  15. The butterfly…uh guy? As my dear daddy always says “Thank God there’s something for everybody”
  16. Only time I ever felt the urge to write a letter to the editor. In this case a poem in the Dallas Morning News likening the whole thing to the WWF and forced sodomy. Got published too. So if you’re ever on a jury panel and a lawyer asks you if you’ve ever written a letter to the editor there’s good reason for it. Also fuck Baylor
  17. Norm!
  18. I’ll give you Obama but Lincoln was lanky and therefore probably slow to react. Washington was all about protecting the wooden teeth
  19. Not the biggest George W fan but you gotta admit the shoe thrower would have nailed the other 45 current or past presidents easily
  20. Come on. “Spoke to” and “here’s a quote from him” are such nebulous phrases
  21. When an alternative is to hang a flat screen on one of those walls and see your husband probe his girlfriend’s taint hey lots of family photos all over the place are fun
  22. I missed freshmen orientation because I smoked a joint and went to see Poltergeist. Had an opportunity to make up for it the next day but smoked a joint and went to see Poltergeist again
  23. Probably Chuck but she is a master of the scissor kick
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