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Colonoscopy


Sbbruin

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Ate about 2/3 a tub of bluebell on Tuesday night, with bourbon drizzled over it, because I’m a Texan.

Woke up Wednesday - black coffee and had a nice giant shite mid-morning.  Then, at 5pm, I hammered 1/2 of gavilyte jug and proceeded to unload.  Chased it with an orange Gatorade because I like orange Gatorade.  Turns out that’s a really good indicator of where things are because… 1 hour later everything was orange.

10pm - other half of gavilyte. Then Big bottle of Yellow Gatorade.

Soupass until midnight and then sleep.

 

to be continued.

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Woke up with a little soup in the chute.  Sprayed that out - clearish yellow.  Went to surgery center.

Anesthesia is really cool.  At first everything got weird / muffled.  I said “weird/muffled” and they said “that’s the —-caine.”  The other stuff may burn in your arm a little.  Then I said “I feel it in my arm…”. Then I woke up.

3 polyps.  Biopsies pending.  Glad I did it and as far as the doctor, nurses, everyone that cared for me - they were awesome.

For posterity:

1.  You do/can dream under anesthesia.  I did.

2.  I was afraid I would say something while woozy and my wife would hold that shit against me.  Not an issue - when I woke up I was in control.

3.  Anesthesia hits hard.  It’s not like “had one too many shots and went to sleep.”  More like a deer when the bulllet hits it before it ever hears a sound.  Out.

4.  Be nice to the nurses, etc., and odds are they will give you a smooth ride.  I can’t imagine what that would have been like if they were bitchy.

5.  I’ll go back as often as necessary.  Comparing it to a day in my normal life - not that bad.  Prep tastes like lemon flavored laguna madre water and you’ll squirt every ounce back out, but other than it’s just an inconvenience.

If this buys me 1 more year of life, 5 more years of life, 20?  Worth every bit of hassle.

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3.  Anesthesia hits hard.  It’s not like “had one too many shots and went to sleep.”  More like a deer when the bulllet hits it before it ever hears a sound.  Out.


It's like you're listening to Don't Stop Believing and then everything goes black.

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16 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:


It's like you're listening to Don't Stop Believing and then everything goes black.
 

My experience was sorta like this, except I was consciously trying to record the memory and experience what it felt like when the juice kicked in.  I've never shot junk like the drag rats with their needle habits.  I figured this was as close as I would get.  Wanted to experience it - curiosity and what not.

In my mind it was going to be like when you're really really drunk, and then fade to black.  Multiple steps down the ladder to darkness.  I even told the nurse that and she said "some people say it burns in their arms, some say cold."  I was ready to ride the white horse like Lou Reed and Townes Van Zandt.  This was my moment - I was laser focused.

Then, 

1. My arm feels something - I'm getting the juice.

2. Wake up.

3.  What the f happened?  I missed it.

If they have something stronger on the doctor's drug cart, keep that shit away from me. This stuff was like a light switch.

I can see why Michael Jackson and Prince got hooked on this stuff.  It's a weird control thing.  No lying in bed counting sheep, no "I wonder what I have to do tomorrow?  Did I remember to set an alarm?  What's that noise I heard?"  Just I/O.

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It was really bizarre.

I've never been under before, no surgeries, no broken bones. Even when they put the stent in my heart I was awake and watching them do it.

Watched her put shot in IV, tasted something, woke up in recovery room.

Didn't even have a chance to say, "thanks for the one price on this, usually I have to pay $200 extra for butt stuff"

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I had a lithotripsy done last summer and it just seemed like a seamless transition from my doc saying "alright here's the operating room" to "alright let's send you to recovery". I don't remember dreaming or anything going black. Just like an on/off switch

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6 hours ago, Bookman said:

I have one in a few hours. I've been up since 3:30 a.m. drinking the potion of despair. 

It is amazing that someone hasn't come up with a better flavor for that shit.  Lemon laguna madre flavor is what I got.  Why not hide that shit in some french onion soup?  Salty and I can eat the f out of some FOS.  If not that, some miso soup.  A little different, not exactly mom's chicken soup, but way way better than the current option.

I would slurp either one of those down with a smile.

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13 hours ago, Bookman said:

Well, I'm done. I have no memory of what happened, except someone saying "We're done." They said they weren't going to knock me out 100% but the effect seems the same to me. 

Was this your doctor?

giphy.gif

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ate a big plate of curry-fried noodles at a noodle bar last night.  Black coffee this morning and a stool softener.  Expelled the noodles around noon.  A couple of cups of chicken broth for lunch and some green Jello for a snack around 3 pm.  Counting down to the prep at 5.  Gatorade at the ready.  Watery a-noose incoming.  New tube of Desitin waiting.  Bidet is about to get a workout.  Procedure is at 8:30 a.m. Friday. 

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1 hour ago, dcbc said:

Ate a big plate of curry-fried noodles at a noodle bar last night.  Black coffee this morning and a stool softener.  Expelled the noodles around noon.  A couple of cups of chicken broth for lunch and some green Jello for a snack around 3 pm.  Counting down to the prep at 5.  Gatorade at the ready.  Watery a-noose incoming.  New tube of Desitin waiting.  Bidet is about to get a workout.  Procedure is at 8:30 a.m. Friday. 

This post went downhill after the promising “curry fried noodles” start. 2/10, would not read again. 

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All done.  Just made myself an omelette and sending my kid for a cheeseburger later.

1 small polyp.  Not pre-cancerous this time.  New guidelines say come back in 7 years, but my doc said 5 would be fine. 

Propofol is lovely.

 

Not going to trust a fart for the next 24 hours.

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