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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars


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When futureman was young he attended a summer camp where he got his anus fingered by a guy who looked like Orville Redenbacher.  That's why he has behavior issues.  You'd lash out too if popcorn reminded you of a trauma like that.  He deserves your sympathy, not your derision.

 

orville-redenbacher-248523-1-402.jpg

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11 hours ago, Chooky said:

When futureman was young he attended a summer camp where he got his anus fingered by a guy who looked like Orville Redenbacher.  That's why he has behavior issues.  You'd lash out too if popcorn reminded you of a trauma like that.  He deserves your sympathy, not your derision.

 

orville-redenbacher-248523-1-402.jpg

You need to spoiler that shit. You're going to give the poor guy a PTSD-related heart attack.

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1 hour ago, texifornia said:

Mbappé! Mbappé!

 

That's misleading. Mbappe's top speed is just slightly higher than Usain Bolt's average speed, which includes him starting from a standstill. 

 

Regardless, Owens is big, fast, and strong with a great jump cut. He's going to be special if he continues on this path. 

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3 minutes ago, Hornlover said:

That's misleading. Mbappe's top speed is just slightly higher than Usain Bolt's average speed, which includes him starting from a standstill. 

 

Regardless, Owens is big, fast, and strong with a great jump cut. He's going to be special if he continues on this path. 

I think Mbappe pulling that out in the 90th minute is plenty impressive.

Either way, I only thought of it because he's the only other athlete I've seen where people regularly pull out his mph in highlights.

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TFB Open Post note on Owens.

Elite El Campo 2023 RB Rueben Owens II

Owens has already been a ton of places and is no stranger to the attention or recruiting process at this point. He was in Norman last weekend getting the red-carpet treatment from the Sooners, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that he is a huge LSU and Texas A&M fan. 

Even though he is the first 2023 offer for the Longhorns, they seem to already be a bit late to the party. We’ll see how much that fact matters over the next 24-36 months. 

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5 minutes ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

TFB Open Post note on Owens.

Elite El Campo 2023 RB Rueben Owens II

Owens has already been a ton of places and is no stranger to the attention or recruiting process at this point. He was in Norman last weekend getting the red-carpet treatment from the Sooners, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that he is a huge LSU and Texas A&M fan. 

Even though he is the first 2023 offer for the Longhorns, they seem to already be a bit late to the party. We’ll see how much that fact matters over the next 24-36 months. 

I'd say I'm getting huge Latrell McCutchin vibes, but at least he's visiting instead of throwing a hissy fit through his dad's Twitter.

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3 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

Tanzania, represent! Guess Texas is recruiting all of Africa now.

Imagine immigrating to America from Tanzania, imagining New York or LA or even a nice suburban town in Texas or Florida or wherever, and ending up in Saint Louis.

(Ditto with Adeoye and Nigeria I suppose)

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  • Machinator changed the title to Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

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