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I'm An Alcoholic


El Diablo

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5 hours ago, pch said:

First Father's day since my son died in January.  I cried a little bit this morning on the 7am zoom meeting recalling how fond I was to receive a call from him wishing me a happy day and telling me how much he loved me.  I will always remember those phone calls but more than that, I went to a 9am in person meeting and spent some time with a man who got 60 days today and then chaired the 11 am speaker meeting for a friend who played at UT in the 80's for Fred.  My extended AA family is always here for me on days like this and no one knows how to help an alcoholic like another alcoholic.  My story expands with each day like this when I do what is suggested in the program instead of isolating-a character defect that I am grateful to have had removed by doing my part.  Happy Father's day to each of you here-hug your kids and thank God they are in your life.

Fuck I am sorry. Your post hit me for 2 reasons. The first is this is my first Father’s Day as a father. The second is I remember my first birthday when my dad didn’t call me. He was addicted to pills and attempted suicide and that first birthday after was a tough one. He would bug me nonstop before but damn there I was hoping for a phone call I knew wouldn’t come. I am again sorry and thank you for sharing. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Glad to see the bump.  Had a good laugh last night.

Came home and there was a bottle on the counter.  Not unusual as my wife is a normie who enjoys Prosecco and cocktails.  I looked at it and it said Zero Proof  Ritual Tequila Alternative.

When she walked by I asked "What in the hell is this?" 

She went on and on about how she'd been craving Mexican Mules and Ranch Water since it was hot, but didn't want the calories so she bought this "alternative".    Said it was great, probably wouldn't buy real tequila going forward, bla, bla, bla, bla.

Want to know how I KNOW I'm an alcoholic and she's not???????? 

Dumbest shit I've ever heard of......makes perfect sense to her.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Reagan1k said:

Glad to see the bump.  Had a good laugh last night.

Came home and there was a bottle on the counter.  Not unusual as my wife is a normie who enjoys Prosecco and cocktails.  I looked at it and it said Zero Proof  Ritual Tequila Alternative.

When she walked by I asked "What in the hell is this?" 

She went on and on about how she'd been craving Mexican Mules and Ranch Water since it was hot, but didn't want the calories so she bought this "alternative".    Said it was great, probably wouldn't buy real tequila going forward, bla, bla, bla, bla.

Want to know how I KNOW I'm an alcoholic and she's not???????? 

Dumbest shit I've ever heard of......makes perfect sense to her.

 

 

Yeah, like I just drank liquor/tequila because I enjoyed the taste.🤪 Near beer and this scenario remind me that for most normal folks drinking alcohol or non-alcohol is an option.  I'm closer to normal today than ever before leaving this option to those who have already arrived.

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I've got 3 years now and just started my first relationship since I stopped drinking. I haven't dated in 10 years for whatever reason. Didn't need anything else with the drink. Didn't know how to let anyone in. Didn't like myself or care. Who knows. But it came on pretty hard and fast with this girl. It scares me, it scares her, but it's been great. She knows everything. She's not an addict, but she's not clueless to the nature of it, either. 

I'm trying to approach it cautiously, but shit I like this girl.  

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pfffft, Alcoholics don't do anything cautiously, especially with relationships.  Congratulations and just enjoy the ride.

Stopped by intergroup today to buy one of my pigeons a 1 year chip, going to give it to him at our meeting on Monday.

I've mentioned that my latest read (listen) is that "Writing the big book" volume, and I'm finished.  It's objectively critical of Bill Wilson and everyone involved in the creation of AA and the writing of the book.  It stripped out all the mythology, exposed Bill and Hank's character defects, and placed those early years in a cultural context that I never considered.

But - my appreciation of the book and belief in AA is immeasurably increased.

The combined endeavors of those early AAs and friendly laypeople to stay sober, help drunks, spread the message, keep things going, write, edit, and publish the book was really something.

Think I'll sign off and go to a meeting now.  God bless y'all.

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Long time lurker here, also long time sobriety. Recently been struggling with some things. I don't think sobriety or having a drink is one. Yet.

I need to get to a meeting. I need to help someone. I need to focus on being of service. This thread is always a source of encouragement and hope. Thank you for letting me share.

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I just wanted to add that I really appreciate this thread.  I drink more than the average bear, but I'm generally good with my standard cocktail hour regime.  Lots of wisdom on here and I am glad to have the benefit of all of y'all's life experience if I should ever get off the rails.

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First work conference event at "new" job which I started in October. Of course we had the big party, and we're a big vendor in the industry so lots of... shellfish and booze and customers getting rowdy. I was drinking club soda + twist of lime all night long. Good time, no problem. Just kinda smiling and nodding at all of the same old work event hangover jokes at 7:30 AM breakfast.

That kind of thing would have been difficult in early sobriety, of course. But no big deal now, and while I chose to just kinda blend in there were a few folks nursing sodas, with no hard times had.

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Anybody else into Big Swig

Shit is the bomb, but can be a little hard to find outside of Austin.

Just as fiery as Topo and with really cool flavors like chili mango, jalapeno pineapple and prickly pear cucumber. I've tried those three and all of them were better than I expected. Key Lime and ruby red grapefruit are also solid. 

I've never seen the watermelon mint or the party pickle. 

 

BigSwing_12oz_Prickly-Pear-Copy_9d774b89

 

 

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16 minutes ago, JohnnyRage said:

I had a Virgil's Root Beer and a Reed's Ginger Ale with my son after a long hard day at 6 Flags.

@BBQ2Bayou your place is much nicer than I pictured. Good for you!

Were you picturing me as a pond over a pool type of guy?  It's my girlfriend's anyway, so you might still be right. 

 

  

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3 hours ago, lmao said:

Off the wag. If someone wants to PM a group in SoCal I'll do it.

Don't beat yourself up over it, but yeah, knock it off...

I tried to narrow it down but SoCal is so big they just go straight from LA or Orange Co to the state site...there is no SoCal site. I've heard really good things about meetings in LA proper.

https://alcoholicsanonymous.com/aa-meetings/california/

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10 hours ago, lmao said:

Off the wag. If someone wants to PM a group in SoCal I'll do it.

https://lacoaa.org/

https://aasandiego.org/

I just typed in the name of the city and 'Intergroup', and these popped up. Just call one of the numbers and ask if their is anyone that can take you to a meeting or would be willing to meet you at a meeting, or at the very least recommend a meeting.

There is also a more general hotline that you can call if you need to talk or need advice.

Stop the pain.

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Looking for sober living recs for little bro in Collin or Denton county. Doesn’t need to be that nice probably better if it isn’t. He is 40 so doesn’t necessarily need to be in old fogies home but a good age mix would be ideal. 

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12 hours ago, J.R. said:

Looking for sober living recs for little bro in Collin or Denton county. Doesn’t need to be that nice probably better if it isn’t. He is 40 so doesn’t necessarily need to be in old fogies home but a good age mix would be ideal. 

I would look at Real Deal Sober living first if he's looking for nicer. They have houses in Plano and Richardson that start at $800 I believe. I stayed at the Richardson one last year and it held me accountable, required meetings, etc. There are lots of Oxford houses in the area too, but you have to be careful with them as some can just be flop houses. If he's looking for cheaper, the Freeman House could be an option. It has a good age mix, but can be a little rough as it's mainly guys fresh off the streets or out of jail. Some guys from home group take a meeting there every week.

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5 hours ago, DallasHorn26 said:

I would look at Real Deal Sober living first if he's looking for nicer. They have houses in Plano and Richardson that start at $800 I believe. I stayed at the Richardson one last year and it held me accountable, required meetings, etc. There are lots of Oxford houses in the area too, but you have to be careful with them as some can just be flop houses. If he's looking for cheaper, the Freeman House could be an option. It has a good age mix, but can be a little rough as it's mainly guys fresh off the streets or out of jail. Some guys from home group take a meeting there every week.

appreciate it

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Hell yeah Abogado.

 

My dad and his wife are up visiting us in North Carolina to see the baby. Couple of funny "oh yeah, things are different" moments - they brought a bottle of wine (dad drinks enough that he might seem like an alcoholic, but without the consequences and at this age I guess that just makes him a heavy drinker) to drink with dinner. Nowhere in the house does a corkscrew exist. He eventually found one in his luggage, they used champagne flutes from our wedding. Also he mentioned that North Carolina must be one of those weird states where the state runs all of the liquor stores - I said "I don't think so, there's a place right down the street across from the Harris Teeter". I went to check a bit later (knowing that they probably wanted to get a bottle of something before returning to the hotel) and... sure a fucking nough, the place I'm thinking of is a beer and wine store. Closest liquor store is like "ABC Store #14 of Wake County" or whatever. I've lived here since November. Gone from staggering my visits between Specs, Twin Liquor, and the weird mom and pop shop so that nobody will know I'm an alcoholic to just having no clue at all that there are arcane blue laws where I've lived for the better part of a year.

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On 7/31/2021 at 9:26 AM, Celery Man said:

Hell yeah Abogado.

 

My dad and his wife are up visiting us in North Carolina to see the baby. Couple of funny "oh yeah, things are different" moments - they brought a bottle of wine (dad drinks enough that he might seem like an alcoholic, but without the consequences and at this age I guess that just makes him a heavy drinker) to drink with dinner. Nowhere in the house does a corkscrew exist. He eventually found one in his luggage, they used champagne flutes from our wedding. Also he mentioned that North Carolina must be one of those weird states where the state runs all of the liquor stores - I said "I don't think so, there's a place right down the street across from the Harris Teeter". I went to check a bit later (knowing that they probably wanted to get a bottle of something before returning to the hotel) and... sure a fucking nough, the place I'm thinking of is a beer and wine store. Closest liquor store is like "ABC Store #14 of Wake County" or whatever. I've lived here since November. Gone from staggering my visits between Specs, Twin Liquor, and the weird mom and pop shop so that nobody will know I'm an alcoholic to just having no clue at all that there are arcane blue laws where I've lived for the better part of a year.

There would have been a time that would have been a factor in your move. Not make or break, but you would have looked up those laws way too early in the moving process...

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On 7/31/2021 at 9:26 AM, Celery Man said:

Hell yeah Abogado.

 

My dad and his wife are up visiting us in North Carolina to see the baby. Couple of funny "oh yeah, things are different" moments - they brought a bottle of wine (dad drinks enough that he might seem like an alcoholic, but without the consequences and at this age I guess that just makes him a heavy drinker) to drink with dinner. Nowhere in the house does a corkscrew exist. He eventually found one in his luggage, they used champagne flutes from our wedding. Also he mentioned that North Carolina must be one of those weird states where the state runs all of the liquor stores - I said "I don't think so, there's a place right down the street across from the Harris Teeter". I went to check a bit later (knowing that they probably wanted to get a bottle of something before returning to the hotel) and... sure a fucking nough, the place I'm thinking of is a beer and wine store. Closest liquor store is like "ABC Store #14 of Wake County" or whatever. I've lived here since November. Gone from staggering my visits between Specs, Twin Liquor, and the weird mom and pop shop so that nobody will know I'm an alcoholic to just having no clue at all that there are arcane blue laws where I've lived for the better part of a year.

I spent 5 years in NC as an active alkie. Yeah, "state" stores. Had to drive near out of the county to the only one within prolly 50 miles. We was wayy out in the sticks. It was easier to find white likker made in someone's garage. 

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3 hours ago, El Diablo said:

I spent 5 years in NC as an active alkie. Yeah, "state" stores. Had to drive near out of the county to the only one within prolly 50 miles. We was wayy out in the sticks. It was easier to find white likker made in someone's garage. 

The moonshiners and the Babtis' are in cahoots to keep it that way, lol

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Many of us believe that it is a progressive spectrum. If you have reasons to take a nice long break from alcohol, you should probably try that. If you can quit for some time like 3 to 6 months with a little trouble while not freaking out (white knuckling it), that’s a real good sign.

But if you can’t stop or won’t stay stopped in spite of some serious life and health consequences, well then you may be like us.

 

Being an alcoholic is the healthiest thing that has ever happened to me. 

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I've been feeling a little anxiety and fear the past few days that I've had trouble shaking. Went to the home group last night and the reading was page 86. Made me realize how much I've slacked with my morning medication practices recently and that's probably what is driving those feelings. 

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