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luke duke

Bidet Meta Threas

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2 hours ago, PhillyD said:

I'll be interested in your review.  I'm not ready to pull the trigger yet.  Also need a way to carry it at the office.

Stash it in the drop ceiling? 

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, luke duke said:

 


Just shove it down your pants leg

 

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Edited by Blotto

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On 2/18/2019 at 8:30 AM, chikin23 said:

After a couple of weeks of use I've noticed there's going to be a huge savings on toilet paper in the future. Should've bought one of these years ago.

Also better for the environment. It takes 37 gallons of water to produce one roll of tp.

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A google search shows that the average american uses 57 squares of TP per day.  Charmin Ultra Soft is $0.36/100 squares (amazon) or approximately .0036 cents per square.  So the average american uses about $0.21 of TP per day, out to $76.65 per year.

The math on justifying an entry level bidet in a household of one person is ridiculously good.  If you up that to 3-5 people in a household that are using it then you are really cooking with gas.  If you own your home and can get your whole family on the bidet program (say you have 3 bathrooms and 5 family members) then spending $300 total on 3 mid-level bidets means you are up $83 in the first year.  Those bidets would be pretty damn nice.  If you plan on staying in your home for 7-10 years then justifying one or two really nice ones ($500) and one entry level bidet still looks good on the whole.

Anyone who isn't spraying their ass doesn't like money.

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Posted (edited)

Just installed mine andgot a jet of water right to the face when I tested it.

Throwing down some ruffage and black bean soup to see what this thing can really do.

Do you guys keep a wash rag by the throne or drip dry? 

Edited by MissingInAction

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Just installed mine andgot a jet of water right to the face when I tested it.


ec3f6988b9d47594c64dbd50ff6adc6c.gif

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Just installed mine andgot a jet of water right to the face when I tested it.
Throwing down some ruffage and black bean soup to see what this thing can really do.
Do you guys keep a wash rag by the throne or drip dry? 
I use 4 squares to pat dry.

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I've made a few converts of family members simply by having Amazon deliver one to their house and then installing it on the guest toilet without permission. 

Obviously not something you can do for everyone, but don't be afraid to force their hand. Or anus, as the case may be. 

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5 hours ago, Felix said:

Bidet evangelism has no restrictions IMO.

Do you have blow-dried hair?

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On 8/9/2019 at 5:25 PM, Armybrat said:

Do you have blow-dried hair?

Not enough left to blow dry.

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On 8/8/2019 at 10:27 PM, MissingInAction said:

I am now a bidet disciple. 

4 squares is perfect  

Where is it appropriate to spread the word?

When I first got mine if a friend came over I would walk them straight to the bathroom and show it to them. Told them to feel free to crap here and use it. It was like I was showing them an artifact the second they walked in the door. I’ve never successfully converted someone but that is mainly because my friends are cheap and lazy. I do the math and the laziness outweighs the benefit for them. 

I like the idea of buying it as a gift and installing it for them. 

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Think Ive figured out the perfect position now 
Sometimes takes a little wiggling or moving in a circular motion depending on if I are tacos or not.

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I was in Europe when I got a Woot message at 2am my time that the BioBidet USPA 6800U was on sale for $229 with free shipping.  Ordered it and it was waiting for me to install when I got home.

This baby has remote controlled electronically adjustable nozzle pressure and spray direction, heated seat, heated water reservoir, fart filter, heated air dryer, a separate nozzle to wash the wife's naughty bits and a blue led light to find it in the dark.  Taking a dump has become an almost spiritual experience now.

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The true pay off is when I get that ring of fire after too much taco Palenque fire sauce.. That cold water stream really puts out the burn.

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On 8/14/2019 at 8:48 PM, Zone Read said:

I was in Europe when I got a Woot message at 2am my time that the BioBidet USPA 6800U was on sale for $229 with free shipping.  Ordered it and it was waiting for me to install when I got home.

This baby has remote controlled electronically adjustable nozzle pressure and spray direction, heated seat, heated water reservoir, fart filter, heated air dryer, a separate nozzle to wash the wife's naughty bits and a blue led light to find it in the dark.  Taking a dump has become an almost spiritual experience now.

Ahhh yes.. the remote control.  For when you are so lazy that you can't be bothered to let your arm fall to your side to twist a knob.  You are taking this to a different level... and I like it.  Someone needs to come up with a bidet app for the iphone/ipad.  Then i don't even have to stop looking at my phone to clean my shit hole.

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2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Pretty sure my date was more satisfied by the bidet than me the other night.

Went out with a chick that burped big time on our first date and then on the second date started talking bidet to me.  Turned her guts into a sloppy joe that night (with my penis).  Then made the mistake of banging her sober and now she is catching feelings.

Edited by Jhawk

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31 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

Ahhh yes.. the remote control.  For when you are so lazy that you can't be bothered to let your arm fall to your side to twist a knob.  You are taking this to a different level... and I like it.  Someone needs to come up with a bidet app for the iphone/ipad.  Then i don't even have to stop looking at my phone to clean my shit hole.

I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit I tried to see if I could link it to a Harmony hub in my living room using bluetooth so I could voice command it with Alexa.  But it uses an IR remote and I didn't want to buy an additional hub.

Edited by Zone Read
typo

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honestly, i don't get the warm water and ass dryer. i live in michigan where during the winter the water is ice cold. my bunghole could literally give a shit 9shitty pun intended). and the ass blow dryer? first of all it won't even be as strong as a hair dryer. and b) who wants to sit there for 15 minutes waiting for your ass to dry? just dab it with tp and call it a day. 15 seconds.

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Ahhh yes.. the remote control.  For when you are so lazy that you can't be bothered to let your arm fall to your side to twist a knob.  You are taking this to a different level... and I like it.  Someone needs to come up with a bidet app for the iphone/ipad.  Then i don't even have to stop looking at my phone to clean my shit hole.

Or better yet, “Alexa, wipe my ass”

 

Oh the fun..

 

Edit, damn it, ZR beat me to it

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18 hours ago, Zone Read said:

I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit I tried to see if I could link it to a Harmony hub in my living room using bluetooth so I could voice command it with Alexa.  But it uses an IR remote and I didn't want to buy an additional hub.

This is the material that brought me to stop lurking on TOS. Voice command ass wiping is now on my to-do list. Also.. I’m going to try and come up with a self cleaning disinfectant tongue textured oscillator that comes out after I’m all clean and gives me a few butt licks before retreating into the toilet. Then I’ll have Alexa shout out from my Sonos sound bar “mmmmhmmmmm all clean Davey boy! Tasting like a peach!” Every time I, or someone else, uses it. Can’t wait to hear that while sitting at the table with family for an Xmas ham. 

Edited by Jhawk

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2 hours ago, Jhawk said:

This is the material that brought me to stop lurking on TOS. Voice command ass wiping is now on my to-do list. Also.. I’m going to try and come up with a self cleaning disinfectant tongue textured oscillator that comes out after I’m all clean and gives me a few butt licks before retreating into the toilet. Then I’ll have Alexa shout out from my Sonos sound bar “mmmmhmmmmm all clean Davey boy! Tasting like a peach!” Every time I, or someone else, uses it. Can’t wait to hear that while sitting at the table with family for an Xmas ham. 

Actually, the more I think about it, maybe it’s not such a bad idea.  I’ve read several articles that say that the item in a hotel room that has the highest fecal bacteria count is the TV remote control.  I can only imagine how high the count is for a remote control that’s used next to the shitter for the shitter.  Hands-free may be the way to go.

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TOTO Washlet S350e user here checking in.  This thread from TOS is the main reason I wanted one and I'll never live in another house without one. 

We remodeled a house in East Texas and when I asked our contractor to put in an electrical outlet next to the toilet he looked at me like I had a 2nd nose growing out of my forehead.  Don't knock it until you try it.

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