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Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand

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Everything posted by Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand

  1. "You look like Mom's cabana boy."
  2. - Explode deficit - Declare "Hey! We found even more waste!"
  3. Libertarian Offers Winning Elections Advice -more inside The Onion
  4. I've been cutting back on the news, but is there another disaster in West Virginia besides being West Virginia?
  5. Checkmate, libtard
  6. I can't believe a guy who called us suckers would do this to us. We voted for him!
  7. Reporter: And what did you do as a member of the Deep State to fix "a lot of stuff in the government that needs fixing"?
  8. It may be a familiar characterization for some, but Ezra Klein's definition of the federal government (or Deep State oogah boogah!) is on point- It's insurance with a large standing army. Everything else is just coins in between the couch cushions. Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Military Guess who the South African determined was a parasite on America, Tom. America First.
  9. ...and the ultimate in-group (that the star-spangled MAGA rally goers don't get) are the billionaires regardless if they're Russian oligarchs whose talking points Trump parrots, Saudi royalty whose golfing tournament he hosts, a communist North Korea dictator whom *checks notes* he fell in love with, or Chinese ruling class he fawned over for their handling of Tiananmen Square.
  10. Trump literally slept fart through one of his trials.
  11. Your understanding of the word "hypocrisy" is on par with your understanding of the word "literally".
  12. Maybe he meant Rudy.
  13. It's like Republicans have daddy issues.
  14. "...then we fork over 3 quarters of a billion dollars for knowingly broadcasting those lies."
  15. Nothing sets off Trump more than a corporation stiffing it's clients.
  16. Dude literally had a reality TV show that's tagline was "You're fired" made possible by a vast swath of Americans who get off on that shit. This should be the least surprising thing he's ever done.
  17. I was worried about the border, so I voted for the guy who blew up the border bill.
  18. "This guy's a loser! I voted for you 8 times and can better job! I need to work from home though. And a raise."
  19. Wait, wait! You're trying to tell me that the most well-known convicted, recidivist fraudster in the world has ordered a "blatant breach of contract". Just outta no where. Huh. These things are kinda hard to predict ya know. Here a womp. There a womp. Everywhere a womp womp.
  20. "Elon misplaced his family's emerald mine."
  21. "When the GOP says "socialism" they mean anyone other than the one percent receiving a benefit from the government for the taxes they've paid. Also, Trump has a tiny dick."
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