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Your Mom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Your Mom

  1. Yeah, that tired joke gets made on the PA on at least half the flights every day. Not making eye contact and leaving a bag on the seat has been SOP for just about everyone for many years.
  2. Bert Venable orders sugary coffee drinks.
  3. I thought this was gonna be a story about the car detailer with the tits out.
  4. So your girlfriend rolls a Honda…
  5. Haven’t thought of that movie in a long time. There’s only one thing I remember about it. Well three, technically.
  6. Now that’s a smooth move right there. Perfectly subtle and almost unnoticeable.
  7. Why the YouTube format? The only time I ever listen to anything is driving or working out. For me it’s only podcast, music, or audiobook. I’m not tuning in to YouTube to watch a show.
  8. This is the best start we’ve had in 15 or so years and I’m pissed about it!!!!!
  9. My section definitely thought it was terrible, cringy, and completely fucking outstanding. Loved it. It’s kind of like state fair food, complete dogshit but damn if I don’t want more of it. The lightning bolts from Ricky and Earl zapping those chubby little dudes into minotaurs of death is right up there with Citizen Kane.
  10. 34-0. 308 from the RBs. Arch gets in the game.
  11. I think football fans in general vastly overestimate a quarterbacks ability to put a ball to an exact spot. More often than not, it was the receivers adjustments that made it look like the ball arrived in the exact spot it needed to be. A subtle slant to the left or right, a little acceleration or deceleration to make the timing work. Worthy was just crossing the 30 yard line when Ewers let go of that ball. A few yards left or right and Worthy would’ve been there and made it look just as perfect. Ever watch those quarterback competitions in the off-season, where they’re trying to hit stationary and moving targets? Even the historically great quarterbacks end up looking like Jim Bob at the state fair midway when there isn’t a live human to make adjustments on the other end.
  12. The better we get the more they’re gonna hate us. I want to see Horns down by the hundreds of thousands this year and every year. In the stands, on the TV, over and over… never had bothered me one bit.
  13. Thank you. 🤘
  14. Baylor is probably gonna win this thing because it’s college football and stupid shit happens every week. Fuck Baylor.
  15. Texas 34 Alabama 24 317 yards
  16. Let’s just say the Little Tike label checked out.
  17. Me too but when my kids were too young to leave alone I’d be on a trainer before they got up or after they went to bed.
  18. Sufferfest used to make some really great training videos. The point-of-view race footage matched whatever you were supposed to be doing in the work out. Easy cruising, attacking, tempo work, etc… I think they might’ve gotten absorbed into TrainerRoad maybe.
  19. I’m here having a weak old fashioned in the Star Lounge at Harry Potter trivia if you want to join me. You could walk up and and say, “Hi Mom, it’s me your anonymous friend from the internet.” and we’d still be the most normal people in the room.
  20. No. I mean I might be a high maintenance vacationer but this would still suck if I wasn’t. Alcohol… I like drinking but I’m well past the age of wanting to do it all day. A couple beers in the afternoon and a couple cocktails at night is more than plenty for me. I can get that anywhere on any vacation without being crammed on a boat with a couple thousand people. Women in bikinis… this can’t be a serious statement or you’ve never been on a cruise. I’m typing this from the pool deck of Royal Caribbean and I’ve seen maybe 5 in the last 4 days that warrant a second glance. The rest are fat, old, or white trash, more often than not it’s all 3. The gym has been nice. But even so, it’s on par with the basic gym you might find in any nice hotel. Gambling… not my thing. But even if was, the person above who described the smoke fill room had it right. It’s almost unbearable to walk through. We’ve been to 2 shows. Meh. A shitty comedian and a low budget Broadway musical variety pack thing. Neither was something you’d feel good paying for out in the world. We went on a Mayan ruin excursion. That also included the infamous tequila tasting. My brother in law took it hook, line, and sinker and spent $500 on 2 bottles of organic extra anejo tequila that “they don’t sell in the US and they are SO local they don’t even have a website!!” He was annoyed at me when I found the same swill available online for $129 and full of bad reviews about fake coloring and artificial sweeteners and cruise ship excursion scams. The other excursion was a day in Cozumel with a historical tour and a couple hours at a beach club. Having been to cheap Mexican beach clubs before I had an idea of what to expect. The rest of the family was certain we were on our way to blue water, coral reef, palm trees etc…. No. It was a basic Mexican restaurant, the tacos were good. The “beach” was jagged rocks, no sand, and seaweed everywhere. The family was shocked that the people hawking this shit on the cruise ship didn’t told us it would be like this. Today is day 4. At sea, headed back. Get to see the ice skating show after lunch. Yay. That’s something I’d never pay a dime for in other circumstances. Food has been underwhelming. To me it’s kind of like Torchys. It sounds good on the menu. It’s spiced up and seasoned well. But under it all you can tell it’s cheap shitty basic ingredients, cheap cuts of meat, etc… Last night they had enchiladas made with flour tortillas. I had the carne asada that came out like a dry brisket with no bark. I will say I liked the Indian dishes a couple nights earlier. Just gotta power though one last day. Then never again.
  21. Just because Fox News says one or two people on twitter twatted about the shirts doesn’t make it an actual valid story. Fox got what they wanted out of it: a reaction from you, a link posted, a few extra clicks, a few extra advertisements seen…
  22. Actually the first stop is Cozumel…
  23. Update: I’m here. With a few thousand shitty people. It’s crowded. This sucks. Anyone who likes this shit is fucked.
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