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Your Mom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Your Mom

  1. The white-trashiest side of my family is from Cleveland. My mom got away from there but she gets still mad because I didn’t bring my kids to Cleveland to visit her side of the family. Sorry Mom, I love you, but your siblings and nephews and nieces are pure fucking garbage and my kids are better off not knowing them. I remember one day when I was 10 or 11 and some local teenagers rolled up to my grandma’s property because my cousin had stolen some auto parts from them or something. They all got out of the car wielding pipe wrenches and baseball bats. My uncle comes out of the house, screaming at his wife to “Call the law!!” Then he holds one of them face down in the dirt with his .308 at the back of his head. The others run back to the car and my uncle fucking shoots the back tire out. They drive off with the flat. Uncle holds the dude there until the sheriff shows up. And we all get seconds of grandma’s peach cobbler on the front porch like nothing ever happened. In the grand scheme of things, the events of that day are not even newsworthy, but the fact that nobody in the family even raised an eyebrow at it resonated with me even as a kid. That was my first realization that my cousins and me might as well be living on opposite sides of the planet from each other.
  2. That’s the only target he’s ever hit on a game day.
  3. I was thinking deep fake Dotard and some Russian hookers doing whatever they do best.
  4. Wouldn’t be too hard to slap a different QR code sticker over that. You could get pretty creative with where it led to..
  5. Dude on the right looks like Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club.
  6. I wouldn’t blame a parent for getting the kid a flip phone, but I travel a lot for work and FaceTime is a very important part of our nightly ritual. It’s also nice tracking their location when necessary. Plus the memes my kids send me are way funnier than the ones I find here. not to mention that if I gave my kids a flip phone, they’d throw it straight in the garbage as it’s completely useless for them. Mom and dad might think it’s fine for the kids to just text and call therr friends, but their friends do not agree, are not going to be returning those phone calls and texts. Texting and phone calls just doesn’t happen anymore, at least in my kids circles.
  7. I think the OP’s parenting method pretty much worked to perfection. Kid gets the phone, some social media accounts, but with heavy restrictions and mom and dad, check it all out every night. When danger showed up, they found it immediately. This is not an example of why kids shouldn’t have smart phones, quite the opposite. It’s an example of how to handle it when your kids do get smart phones.
  8. Me and the OP are one in the same. Bare with me here. Usually these things don’t phase me. Even though they should of used proper phraseology, I usually just give folks some lead way and assume they just didn’t have their expresso yet. Irregardless, I’m glad you nipped it in the butt.
  9. I bet she could post the same footage labeled as the end of the night on her last 5 first dates from bumble.
  10. And it’s not their job to clean the plane, it never has been. There’s separate cleaning crew for that and it gets done once a night or as needed during the day. But as with just about any other job in the industry right now it’s not exactly being overwhelmed with people applying to do it. I have no idea what happened on that flight, clearly the FA was over the line, but I really doubt that the actual delay was related to the rice. Despite her ridiculous PA, FAs don’t have that power and Captains wouldn’t care about the rice. Apparently it was poorly communicated but it was almost certainly a delay for something other than that.
  11. More snow around that area than I realized I guess.
  12. LTbear, I’m sure I’ve missed it earlier in this thread, or in some of their thread years back, but where do you live that you’re seeing all this wildlife? Is this a hobby for you or is it your profession? The wolf with the elk and all the bears don’t seem like something your average joe would stumble upon. Great stuff.
  13. Any communication to the principle is purely for sake of keeping them in loop as a courtesy, this is above their pay grade. Cops and superintendent is where I’d begin.
  14. Plot twist… All the Rainey St dudes pulled from Town Lake were also having affairs with bike racer dude.
  15. Saban always shits on his team pre-season to the same extent that we heap unearned praise on ours. Then he goes out and wins championships with guys like Jake Coker, Greg McElroy, and Mac Jones while we… umm.. don’t.. I’m guessing he figures something out and keeps it respectable again this year.
  16. Totally jealous dude. Hope you get off to a great start. Looking forward to reading about it.
  17. Years ago I worked at really shitty freight outfit with the callsign of Pro Jet… flying a fleet of Cessna 402s.
  18. Well it’s the same team that gave their coach a National Championship trophy just for showing up and agreeing to steal a hundred or so million from them.
  19. A family member gave me their old Mavic something or other and I was excited to try it but it required a firmware update and I never could get it to upload so it’s been sitting in my closet ever since. I should take it somewhere to get some help from a pro.
  20. Is the the only advantage to a robot the lack of hose connected to the side of the pool? Or do robots do other things a basic Polaris racer won’t do?
  21. Loved the book. This is going to be excellent.
  22. They can pound sand.
  23. Dammit, ok I’ll stay in. Knocked out 20 before bed.
  24. I’m probably out. I haven’t gotten injured or anything but I wake up feeling like I have to move a little slow every day anyway, I can never just pop right out of bed and start knocking out burpees. I tend to wait until I’ve had coffee and moved around a little bit, get the kids off to school or whatever. By the time my body feels like it’s ready to do some Burpee’s I generally have forgotten about it. Often I remember at the end of the night that I hadn’t done them yet and there I am at 11pm knocking them out before I go to bed. Other days, I’m feeling good and ready to knock them all out but I don’t want them interfere with my bike ride. I’m still doing them on days I go to the gym, but it won’t be nearly enough to make the 10K. If I wake up tomorrow morning, feeling like knocking out 30 when I jump out of bed, I may reconsider, but I’d have some serious catching up to do.
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