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Posted
40 minutes ago, TexasHooch said:

You mean I'm not the only dude with a child who is a high functioning slug?  

I'm a firm believer in the idea of "let them fail".  I'm also, however, super shitty at actually doing it in reality.  My 14 year old son lobbied us and his school to let him skip straight from just completed Algebra 2 to Calculus next year- skipping PreCal.  The school agreed, contingent on his ability to score an 85 or better on the PreCal final before the start of the school year.  For our part, we enrolled him in a self paced online class.

Kid has been seriously dragging ass all summer.  Moving forward, but very slowly.  I'd say the ratio of video game/ TV time to coursework has been about 30:1. We're now about a week away from the test, and he's showing zero urgency to finish the class and start preparing for the test, for which he's been given study material. He says he's fine and doesn't need my help.

I know what I'm supposed to do- Let him fail, and make him pay me back.  Should be easy. After all,  I didn't want this for him.  He did.  So it's really skin off my back.  In reality though, I can't help myself and am constantly giving him shit about it.  

When it's all said and done, kid is probably going to cram for two days and ace the test.  But it pisses me off, because his approach has been shit.

maybe we all should start a "Helicopter Parenting Support Group: Fuck 'dem Kids" thread.

 

I know I could use the catharsis of typing out some of the angst created by watching them step in shit.

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Posted
12 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

maybe we all should start a "Helicopter Parenting Support Group: Fuck 'dem Kids" thread.

 

I know I could use the catharsis of typing out some of the angst created by watching them step in shit.

6b6fhem1kc7f1.gif

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Posted
1 hour ago, TexasHooch said:

You mean I'm not the only dude with a child who is a high functioning slug?  

I'm a firm believer in the idea of "let them fail".  I'm also, however, super shitty at actually doing it in reality.  My 14 year old son lobbied us and his school to let him skip straight from just completed Algebra 2 to Calculus next year- skipping PreCal.  The school agreed, contingent on his ability to score an 85 or better on the PreCal final before the start of the school year.  For our part, we enrolled him in a self paced online class.

Kid has been seriously dragging ass all summer.  Moving forward, but very slowly.  I'd say the ratio of video game/ TV time to coursework has been about 30:1. We're now about a week away from the test, and he's showing zero urgency to finish the class and start preparing for the test, for which he's been given study material. He says he's fine and doesn't need my help.

I know what I'm supposed to do- Let him fail, and make him pay me back.  Should be easy. After all,  I didn't want this for him.  He did.  So it's really skin off my back.  In reality though, I can't help myself and am constantly giving him shit about it.  

When it's all said and done, kid is probably going to cram for two days and ace the test.  But it pisses me off, because his approach has been shit.

Has he expressed an interest in getting a job? Kids like that benefit a lot from working for money. 
 

Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Has he expressed an interest in getting a job? Kids like that benefit a lot from working for money. 
 

Yes, very much so- but at 14 there aren't a ton of options.  He already mows lawns, and just got hired to work the state fair at the end of the month.  He's also applied to Chick-fil-a but no luck yet.  He's also involved in a lot of sports, extracurriculars, volunteers as a coach in a Special Hockey League, and is an officer in Civil Air Patrol (think community based JROTC). Add to all of that, he's never gotten so much as an A-minus ever.  

Bottom line is that he, like many of us, thrives on structure and pressure but turns to mush when there's a lull.  

 

Edit: OK, I'm going to leave all of that, but I just re-read it and have achieved some self awareness. Kid's fucking amazing.  He stays his ass busy all year and is enjoying some very rare idle time.  What did you say again about the helicopter's anonymous support group?  Jesus, I need to slow my role.

Edited by TexasHooch
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Posted

don't forget- it's OK for a kid to get to be a kid.

I know the thread title, but that's a lot of stuff for a kid, whether we think it is or not.

 

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Posted
1 hour ago, TexasHooch said:

Yes, very much so- but at 14 there aren't a ton of options.  He already mows lawns, and just got hired to work the state fair at the end of the month.  He's also applied to Chick-fil-a but no luck yet.  He's also involved in a lot of sports, extracurriculars, volunteers as a coach in a Special Hockey League, and is an officer in Civil Air Patrol (think community based JROTC). Add to all of that, he's never gotten so much as an A-minus ever.  

Bottom line is that he, like many of us, thrives on structure and pressure but turns to mush when there's a lull.  

Edit: OK, I'm going to leave all of that, but I just re-read it and have achieved some self awareness. Kid's fucking amazing.  He stays his ass busy all year and is enjoying some very rare idle time.  What did you say again about the helicopter's anonymous support group?  Jesus, I need to slow my role.

Agreed. That's impressive at 16 or 17. It's amazing at 14. Up here, we need permission from schools and parents to have someone younger than 16 employed at a place like Chick-fil-a. My daughter did that and quickly found out she was one of only a couple of school-aged coworkers at a local restaurant who pulled their weight. Now she's an apprentice at a major company and finding the same thing relative to her fellow students. At least a few of her friends still haven't worked. 

Doesn't quite follow through the same way at home, but we're a little more accepting of that because she's built a decent little savings account for school. She's done great stuff, but your son is doing more. Worth being proud of, and probably deserving of a little mush time on his end, I'd venture.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Hayduke said:

Up here, we need permission from schools and parents to have someone younger than 16 employed at a place like Chick-fil-a

What? That’s crazy. My girls started work at 14, worked through high school and continued into college. 
In addition to being good for them, it also contributed to where they got into college, helped them get other jobs, etc. it’s a huge leg up.

Edited by Bozo_Casanova
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Posted

Yep. But y'all are in Texas. A little more laissez-faire.  Up here, they just want to be sure everyone is in agreement -- school knows what's going on, parents OK with it.

Of course, nobody on the dairy farms pays any attention.

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Posted (edited)

The fact that school hasn’t started and kids are still lazy shouldn’t be overlooked. This happened every year for 12 years and while senior year starts with college applications it’s still the summer. 

anyhoo, my boy goes to his other mom’s today but you know what, he called me to tell me his band directors pulled him aside to check on him. You know what else? They said the same shit I did.  He responded to them, called me, told me I was right and then we hopped on to a school apps discussion at his choice and we sent out some emails, did some social media follows.

We chose not to visit before acceptance bc he’s very prone to falling in love with a place and that seems like a bad idea with schools like Cal, UC Santa Barbara, and UCLA on his list. So emails, social follows and some info sessions seem like the right way to “show interest”.

we also worked on choice of major (he’s all over the map). we are probably going to be a little scattered down the stretch but I think he’s going to be fine. He even looked at some of the short answer questions and he feels good about his likely answers.

gotta get on the housing apps this week too fucking A. 

Edited by troph
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Posted
7 minutes ago, troph said:

he called me to tell me his band directors pulled him aside to check on him. You know what else? They said the same shit I did.

Randy Floyd! Before next fall, you’re in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You better get your priorities straight. 

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Posted
10 minutes ago, Iceman said:

I never got a "Dad you were right!"  like a really legit one, until they were in their 20's LOL.

 

Bravo!!!

Thank you!
 

The hardest part about this summer has been the total change from his SOP. He tells me I’m right all the time, heck he put me down as the person that most inspired him when the question was who in the band inspired you to be a leader. He said no one in the band inspired me but my mom inspires me. To go from that to “stop talking” even if only for a few months has been startling to say the least. 

anyway, I know this has gotten off the beaten path from the core app process but we all need to chill the fuck out, school doesn’t even start for 9-10 more days for most of us. 

Stressed Season 1 GIF by Friends

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Posted
32 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Randy Floyd! Before next fall, you’re in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man. You better get your priorities straight. 

I seen that crowd your runnin with, Don't THINK I haven't noticed!

Posted

I wish I had some of the problems you all have with our youngest. She is the polar opposite of her sister. We sat down tonight to talk about a plan for the application process and I should have just kicked myself in the nuts for an hour. I might have felt better at the end. I think we have a tentative list of colleges to research, we’ll see if she follows through with it. We’re also going to meet with an admissions counselor because she doesn’t want to work with the school ones. Some progress is better than none I suppose.

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