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NOVEMBER 14--A motorist told police that he was busy attempting to urinate into a Budweiser can when he accidentally plowed into another vehicle on a Montana roadway, according to court records.

As detailed in a probable cause affidavit, James Howard, 53, was driving his Chevrolet Suburban on a Missoula roadway when he slammed into the rear of a bigbud25.jpgVolkswagen carrying two passengers.

A Highway Patrol officer who arrived at the crash scene Thursday evening reported seeing Howard with “a large Budweiser beer can in his right hand, which he moved into the center console.”

Howard, cops say, handed over the beer can “when asked and said it contained urine and not beer.” He further explained that he “rear-ended the vehicle because he was attempting to urinate into the beer can while driving.”

The Volkswagen’s driver told cops he was at a stop light after exiting Interstate 90 when he “saw lights approaching in his rearview mirror and told his girlfriend to brace for impact.”

Howard--who claimed to have consumed only one beer--reportedly smelled of alcohol, his speech was “slow and slurred,” and his pants were wet with urine. “Howard stated that he had ‘more than a couple of DUI’s’ and was not supposed to be driving,” the affidavit notes.

“I’m going to jail for a fucking long time,” Howard told cops.

A police check of Howard’s driver history showed that his license had been suspended earlier this month, and that he had four prior impaired driving convictions. A post-crash Intoxilyzer test registered his blood alcohol concentration at more than three times the legal limit.

Howard was arrested for aggravated DUI, a felony, and reckless driving and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. He is being held in the county jail in lieu of $10,000 bond. (3 pages)

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22 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

NOVEMBER 14--A motorist told police that he was busy attempting to urinate into a Budweiser can when he accidentally plowed into another vehicle on a Montana roadway, according to court records.

As detailed in a probable cause affidavit, James Howard, 53, was driving his Chevrolet Suburban on a Missoula roadway when he slammed into the rear of a bigbud25.jpgVolkswagen carrying two passengers.

A Highway Patrol officer who arrived at the crash scene Thursday evening reported seeing Howard with “a large Budweiser beer can in his right hand, which he moved into the center console.”

Howard, cops say, handed over the beer can “when asked and said it contained urine and not beer.” He further explained that he “rear-ended the vehicle because he was attempting to urinate into the beer can while driving.”

The Volkswagen’s driver told cops he was at a stop light after exiting Interstate 90 when he “saw lights approaching in his rearview mirror and told his girlfriend to brace for impact.”

Howard--who claimed to have consumed only one beer--reportedly smelled of alcohol, his speech was “slow and slurred,” and his pants were wet with urine. “Howard stated that he had ‘more than a couple of DUI’s’ and was not supposed to be driving,” the affidavit notes.

“I’m going to jail for a fucking long time,” Howard told cops.

A police check of Howard’s driver history showed that his license had been suspended earlier this month, and that he had four prior impaired driving convictions. A post-crash Intoxilyzer test registered his blood alcohol concentration at more than three times the legal limit.

Howard was arrested for aggravated DUI, a felony, and reckless driving and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. He is being held in the county jail in lieu of $10,000 bond. (3 pages)

I keep an empty mouthwash bottle in a pocket in the door of my truck for pit stops. The bigger opening is critical for the portable urinal. Trying to pee into a can is a rookie move. 
And DWI pisses me off, pun kind of intended. There is no reason at all to drive impaired in the least in the age of ride sharing. 

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