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closetohumping

Any fellow expert martial artists here?

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Two quick questions. Is it true that by law, we have to warn any potential combatant that we are black belts?  And, do we have to register our lethal weapons.

 

Bonus question: Those of you that are jujitsu practitioners, how do you keep your junk from waking up when mounting a woman?

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Proud BJJ white belt.  Did Judo as a kid.  Not much else when playing sports in HS/college.  

I can say, if you are paired with a woman, she is considerably more advanced than you are and is there to teach a particular technique.  Your junk the last thing on your mind as you are furiously trying to figure out what this little 130lb assassin is doing and not get choked or tapped out.  The best quote I've seen/heard is it's like playing chess in a dryer....that's on.   

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On 12/15/2019 at 3:30 AM, ROFL BOX said:

 Karate.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
 

The Dane Cook of martial arts

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Oh, you were serious in the OP?

On 12/15/2019 at 12:56 AM, closetohumping said:

Two quick questions. Is it true that by law, we have to warn any potential combatant that we are black belts?  And, do we have to register our lethal weapons.

No. No.

On 12/15/2019 at 12:56 AM, closetohumping said:

Bonus question: Those of you that are jujitsu practitioners, how do you keep your junk from waking up when mounting a woman?

Username checks out and is kind of rapey.

Edited by bernorange

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I can tell you the following:
1.    Ninjas are mammals.
2.    Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3.    The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.


Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don’t even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
And that’s what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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14 hours ago, Incredulity said:

Look up The Quart of Blood Technique.

Also called "it's that time, let's leave mommy alone this weekend"...

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On 12/15/2019 at 12:56 AM, closetohumping said:

 

Bonus question: Those of you that are jujitsu practitioners, how do you keep your junk from waking up when mounting a woman?

The jiujitsu guy  thinks about how disappointed his boyfriend will be when he learns about the infidelity?

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I was a villain in a home-made Kung Fu movie. At the time, I had taken no Kung Fu.

In one scene, where I was kicking the hero's ass, I busted up my shoulder pretty good. I was supposed to ram into the hero at a run and knock him over. The actor playing the hero had some training, and it was like ramming my shoulder into a telephone pole. The cameraman had to do about ten takes. Halfway through, I felt a weird "pop."

A week later, we shot the scene where the hero has overcome his initial beatdown, gotten all Kung Fuey, and takes out the bad guys (one of whom was me.) I wore a padded motorcycle jacket and got flipped over a banister, and it hurt less than the previous fight that I'd "won."

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