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El Diablo

I'm An Alcoholic

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I’m no expert and have no actual experience in such a claim but I have read about a situation where an alcoholic appealed a firing due to smelling of it on the job or behavior because of it.
If you have a medical diagnosis or some history of treatment you may be able to appeal that the conduct was not deliberate, reckless, or intentional.
Do you have some documentation?  If so, you should be able to appeal.  There might also be some protections under the ADA act.
Gather your facts and seek an appeal.  Seek legal advice if the cost/benefit analysis deems it worthwhile.
Again, I’m not a law dog and have simply read about the matter out of curiosity and relevance in the lives of my brethren in this journey. 
 
Is there anyone here familiar with the unemployment process and the appeal hearing? If so,would you please shoot me a PM. Thought I'd as here first instead of CYHM since it's a result of my disease.




Thanks. It ultimately boiled down to attendance issues and poor performance. I had seen a psych previously for alcoholism, but never disclosed to my employer, if that matters or not. At this point, I've been offered a new role, just looking to see if there was a possibility with this upcoming appeal phone hearing to swing it my way and receive back pay.

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On 6/18/2020 at 7:51 AM, BearSchlong said:

One, obviously.  He had a reservation.  Drinking was still an option.  The only step you have to work perfectly.  He still had his own plan.

I sure wish Cajun would show back up here and pontificate on the "like air for a drowning man" aspect of desperation.

@Reagan1k said it perfectly - a mind that wanted to kill me, and a body that wouldn't die.  I've heard it stated "my brain would have killed me a long time ago except it needed the body for transportation."

Just a reminder, Tomorrow June 19 @ 8pm, Zoom speaker meeting - Heidie Jo M. from Brady, TX.  

click on this link and scroll to the Friday 8pm meeting - https://www.northlandgroup.org/, or here's the info:

Meeting ID: 665252715 Password: 2809 Hosted by Robin B.

 

 

Thanks for the link. Enjoyed the meeting. 

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My family and I will be burying my mother in a few hours and I gotta tell ya, being able to suit up and show up just like all the normies is no small miracle. No real regrets, nothing was left unsaid or undone. No sibling squabbles this past week. Just a full and grateful heart. Stick around they said, do the work they said, wait for the miracle they said. Very glad that I did.  
Peaceful thoughts Diablo.

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14 hours ago, DallasHorn26 said:

Is there anyone here familiar with the unemployment process and the appeal hearing? If so,would you please shoot me a PM. Thought I'd as here first instead of CYHM since it's a result of my disease.




Thanks. It ultimately boiled down to attendance issues and poor performance. I had seen a psych previously for alcoholism, but never disclosed to my employer, if that matters or not. At this point, I've been offered a new role, just looking to see if there was a possibility with this upcoming appeal phone hearing to swing it my way and receive back pay.

Sent from my moto g(7) optimo (XT1952DL) using Tapatalk
 

As a general rule, anything connected to continuing or ongoing use/abuse of drugs or alcohol is fair game for termination by an employer.

What isn't is what happens when you seek treatment, preferably through an Employee Assistance Program.  They have to accommodate your recovery, but not your disease, especially if there's adverse consequences potentially resulting from ongoing use (absenteeism, danger, etc.).

It's a fine line and probably going to be pretty hard to toe in a TEC hearing/proceeding.  You probably have to take it to court with medical evidence to be able to prevail.

I cannot say that I have encountered it at that level, so can't give authoritative advice.

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It would seem to me, and I don’t have any experience with this, whether one voluntarily resigned or was terminated would have ramifications. 

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On 6/19/2020 at 6:42 AM, El Diablo said:

My family and I will be burying my mother in a few hours and I gotta tell ya, being able to suit up and show up just like all the normies is no small miracle. No real regrets, nothing was left unsaid or undone. No sibling squabbles this past week. Just a full and grateful heart. Stick around they said, do the work they said, wait for the miracle they said. Very glad that I did. ;) 

Good thoughts your way, devil man. I dread the day I have to do that, but the way I was going, she would have been burying me which a mother should never have to do. 

I'm sure you've thought about it that way more than once. 

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I am not an addict but confess that I come to this thread sometimes when I want to see hope, unity and honest self reflection. You guys are badasses. Keep fighting the good fight friends.

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52 minutes ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

I am not an addict but confess that I come to this thread sometimes when I want to see hope, unity and honest self reflection. You guys are badasses. Keep fighting the good fight friends.

Lot of good folks on here with a lot of perspective. Perspective through an addict's eyes may be different, but everybody knows what it feels like to be hopeless at times. 

 

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Welp, laid off. Not a surprise, industry is fucked from Covid, i had recently shuffled to a new group because the organizational changes with the layoffs in April. I was already looking for my next job, but I’m on the clock now. And you know, rejection. But I’ll be ok, certainly won’t drink.

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Hang in there, Celery Man.  The only constant is change, and it isn't always our idea.  Make the most of it.

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I'll be alright. If I can get the next pot on the burner quickly it'll be a win - severance is based on tenure and I've got a bit over 11 years. Which is... longer than I deserve to have and also plenty long enough for any one place as a 34 year old. But still a bit hard, especially as the last several years have been tough and I've put a lot of energy into keeping the train on the tracks.

I had a good phone screener last week for a job that I think would be really great. Call went well, sourcing lady said she'd pass my name along to the manager and that I might hear from them middle of this week. Good company, the right mix of.... stuff I'm familiar with and stuff that moves me towards where I think my future is (really the kind of thing I was supposed to be doing for the past 6 months if we could've stopped bailing water and firing people and instead focused on building shit. Pure remote which is interesting, but we're trying to move and that could really open things up. If y'all want to put some good vibes in the air for me I'd appreciate it.

Sorry for some kinda... off topic or whatever. But man the last time I faced rejection from something I'd put this much of my life into I turned into a pile of salt. Whenever I'm having some kinda thing that's really grinding my gears or I'm just pissed, meetings are good. I don't get there as much as I used to, which I guess is the goal. I'm lowkey freaking out, but also I'm not really - definitely not in that place. Thinking back on where I've been, which is at least part of why I want to go to the sober place in crisis, just reminds me... I'm playing with house money, and whatever anxiety I have now doesn't touch what I used to wake up to every single day.

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So today is day 60 for me. It's amazing how things seem to fall into place when I let go of control and self direction and not worry about tomorrow. I left rehab 30 days ago without a pot to piss in and started delivering for Amazon to keep myself fed. This week, I got a job offer that comes with a 10% increase over my last role. Then yesterday, I found out TWC ruled in my favor on my unemployment appeal. I will shortly be receiving 8 weeks of backdated benefits with the federal covid kicker.

Sent from my moto g(7) optimo (XT1952DL) using Tapatalk

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6 minutes ago, DallasHorn26 said:

So today is day 60 for me. It's amazing how things seem to fall into place when I let go of control and self direction and not worry about tomorrow. I left rehab 30 days ago without a pot to piss in and started delivering for Amazon to keep myself fed. This week, I got a job offer that comes with a 10% increase over my last role. Then yesterday, I found out TWC ruled in my favor on my unemployment appeal. I will shortly be receiving 8 weeks of backdated benefits with the federal covid kicker.

Sent from my moto g(7) optimo (XT1952DL) using Tapatalk
 

Ah very nice.  Things have a habit of working out when you are at peace with the universe.

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2 hours ago, DallasHorn26 said:

So today is day 60 for me. It's amazing how things seem to fall into place when I let go of control and self direction and not worry about tomorrow. I left rehab 30 days ago without a pot to piss in and started delivering for Amazon to keep myself fed. This week, I got a job offer that comes with a 10% increase over my last role. Then yesterday, I found out TWC ruled in my favor on my unemployment appeal. I will shortly be receiving 8 weeks of backdated benefits with the federal covid kicker.

Sent from my moto g(7) optimo (XT1952DL) using Tapatalk
 

How long ago did you file with TWC? I'm out on my ass right now, too. It sucks, but like has been said, definitely better thing to deal with sober.

I've yet to find something that is better to deal with or do drunk.  Weird how that works when the drink was the main driving factor of your life for so many years. 

 

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I originally filed with them April 22. They denied me initially because I was terminated due to misconduct. I was very surprised when they overturned the decision. This stuff is definitely much better to deal with sober. I'm so glad I am today.

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I just spent 3 hours reading and discussing the Doctor's opinion and Bill's Story with a new sponsee.  I'm optimistic that this guy will make it.  He is a college football coach which adds an interesting twist, so he gets the whole concept of why he needs to get through the steps and start sponsoring others.  When he missed a camp that he had previously worked for 9 years other coaches reached out to check on him and he was honest with them for the first time, told them that he was in rehab for alcohol and drug abuse.  He said that several others in his profession reached out to him as sober alcoholics and he was astonished that there is a brotherhood (sober) inside the brotherhood (college coaches).

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22 hours ago, DallasHorn26 said:

So today is day 60 for me. It's amazing how things seem to fall into place when I let go of control and self direction and not worry about tomorrow. I left rehab 30 days ago without a pot to piss in and started delivering for Amazon to keep myself fed. This week, I got a job offer that comes with a 10% increase over my last role. Then yesterday, I found out TWC ruled in my favor on my unemployment appeal. I will shortly be receiving 8 weeks of backdated benefits with the federal covid kicker.

Sent from my moto g(7) optimo (XT1952DL) using Tapatalk
 

Congratulations on two months.  As an HR manager, I am pleased that you receive benefits.  I have found that the saying there are no coincidences applies to every good thing that has happened in my life since becoming a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

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I was a participant in a virtual departmental meeting yesterday and we were informed that our manager (44 years with the company) will be retiring in the near future and that along with that change our department will be transitioning to someone at the parent company (we are a subsidiary of a NSYE  entity). Probably won't impact me in any meaningful way soon,  but ....CHANGE!! 

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Posted (edited)

I have been slowly tapering off since May, from an every day vodka drinker to finally completely sober - day 5 today. Not been a fun 5 days at all. Sick first 3 days, sleep was a pure nightmare until finally last night, but still woke up like 10 times last night. Been through it before and get it. What is different this time is I'm just sad a lot of times. The last time I got sober, I was loving life almost immediately and felt so upbeat and determined. I've just been very up and down this go around. Like right now it is Friday and I've just been in my bedroom all day fucking around. Have no urge to go outside, no urge to even answer my phone, nothing interests me. I want this to pass so bad, really depressing. But I know it is not supposed to be easy. 

Edited by hundredTT

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11 hours ago, hundredTT said:

I have been slowly tapering off since May, from an every day vodka drinker to finally completely sober - day 5 today. Not been a fun 5 days at all. Sick first 3 days, sleep was a pure nightmare until finally last night, but still woke up like 10 times last night. Been through it before and get it. What is different this time is I'm just sad a lot of times. The last time I got sober, I was loving life almost immediately and felt so upbeat and determined. I've just been very up and down this go around. Like right now it is Friday and I've just been in my bedroom all day fucking around. Have no urge to go outside, no urge to even answer my phone, nothing interests me. I want this to pass so bad, really depressing. But I know it is not supposed to be easy. 

Glad you're still trying. Benadryl is your friend if you can't sleep, the first couple weeks. If it was easy and fun to quit, we wouldn't have this problem in the first place. I have been there, the "now I'm going to conquer life, this is going to be awesome!" feeling-- it's transitory, it never lasts, it's not real. The flip side of that coin isn't real either-- "my life is over, I'll never have fun again, what is the point", etc. 

The reality is that you have today. Your best chance to get another today tomorrow is to not pick up a drink today. Your best chance to not pick up a drink today is to use whatever part of the AA program will keep you from doing it. Rigorous honesty, I love this thread and these dudes and I'm sure everyone else (like me) is glad to see you check in, but posting here is probably the weakest tool available to you. You might be surprised at how good going to an AA meeting and blubbering like a bitch actually makes you feel, in early sobriety. It made me feel better.

When I was in detox in May of 2018, I got suicidal and let it slip to one of the nurses that I had made a plan and acquired a method to kill myself. That got me forklifted over to Shoal Creek, into the loony bin, where in reading the paperwork carefully, I found out that while this whole detox and rehab thing were "voluntary" (meaning I could leave any time I wanted), being at Shoal Creek itself was not voluntary and those doctors could keep me there indefinitely if they judged me a risk to myself or others. I wasn't even allowed to go outside the first 24 hours. I remember looking out the window and being shocked at how helpless it made me feel to know my ability just to go outside was out of my control. I literally prayed to God to get me out of that situation. Please at least get me to where I can fucking go outside so I'm not locked up in a crazy hospital.

Later that same day, I was discharged to my long-term rehab care and ended up at a Westlake AA meeting. I was sitting in that meeting angry and depressed and thinking this whole thing was just wasting time until I could kill myself and then I realized, my prayer had been answered. I got out of Shoal Creek, out in the sun for a bit, out to an AA meeting, etc etc. I humbly and desperately asked God to get me out of there and he did, practically immediately. 

That gave me a little hard-won gratitude, which, when I kept it in mind, helped me through some of the harder times that were still to come.

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13 hours ago, hundredTT said:

I have been slowly tapering off since May, from an every day vodka drinker to finally completely sober - day 5 today. Not been a fun 5 days at all. Sick first 3 days, sleep was a pure nightmare until finally last night, but still woke up like 10 times last night. Been through it before and get it. What is different this time is I'm just sad a lot of times. The last time I got sober, I was loving life almost immediately and felt so upbeat and determined. I've just been very up and down this go around. Like right now it is Friday and I've just been in my bedroom all day fucking around. Have no urge to go outside, no urge to even answer my phone, nothing interests me. I want this to pass so bad, really depressing. But I know it is not supposed to be easy. 

Hope you get some relief soon. Time seems to stand still during early sobriety, at least it did for me. 

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, hundredTT said:

I have been slowly tapering off since May, from an every day vodka drinker to finally completely sober - day 5 today. Not been a fun 5 days at all. Sick first 3 days, sleep was a pure nightmare until finally last night, but still woke up like 10 times last night. Been through it before and get it. What is different this time is I'm just sad a lot of times. The last time I got sober, I was loving life almost immediately and felt so upbeat and determined. I've just been very up and down this go around. Like right now it is Friday and I've just been in my bedroom all day fucking around. Have no urge to go outside, no urge to even answer my phone, nothing interests me. I want this to pass so bad, really depressing. But I know it is not supposed to be easy. 

Sounds better than the pain of drinking. But what do I know?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I truly am blessed, and it's more than I deserve, that after a couple good nights of sleep, some progress in my life, and some honesty in the program that my life just starts to get better. I know that it is the opposite for some. I think those people are either self-medicateing an underlying mental condition or have gone further than most. My only suggestions in the immediate would be prayer, moderate food, sunlight, exercising, socializing, and seeing your doctor.

 

Edited by JohnnyRage

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At times in early sobriety when I had that really low-energy but restless feeling, I would go to one of the meetings that had a series of meetings running straight from about 8AM to 2PM and just hang out.

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8 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

At times in early sobriety when I had that really low-energy but restless feeling, I would go to one of the meetings that had a series of meetings running straight from about 8AM to 2PM and just hang out.

Yep. Immersion in the program and being around others kept my mind occupied and at the end of the day I was pooped and began to sleep better.

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I read a lot, I was in such a chaotic state, that I couldn't find a direction. Reading the likes of Bill W, and later on, spiritual figures,  I was able to see better where I needed to go. Meetings helped early on, if for nothing else, I knew I wasn't alone in my weird, trivial, selfish ways. Meetings were also a good place to find other material.  A guy heard me speak, approached me afterward and recommended Father Martin... sometimes its a book, or a podcast. Lots of great help out there, I beg everyone who struggles not to do this on your own, you can save some years with a little help. 

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On 6/27/2020 at 9:38 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

777 days sober today

feels pretty lucky

 

Congratulations. 

Amazingly ----- especially probably to those who know me ----- after a 40 years of drinking, I've quit almost completely. Still like the taste and the ritual, but the next day ---- even after a couple of beers ----- is proving to not be worth it.  I think I just don't metabolize it like I used to.  Plus it seems like I've got to the point at which total clarity is about as much fun as being drunk. I don't think that I was an alcoholic  (never woke up needing a drink, often went a week or two without drinking) but when I would drink I would sometimes drink too much.   Haven't touched a drop in more than two weeks and find it surprisingly easy to not miss. Part of it is that for the last 10-15 years I was mostly a social drinker  ----- playing darts once a week and tailgates during the fall ----- but since I'm quarantined those reasons are gone. Since quarantine I've had maybe 5-6 beers. Did I finally grow up?

 

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I don’t think you grew up.  I think you are just plain vanilla normal.  You sound  like a typical drinker- maybe heavy at times,  who had few if any consequences.  It also sounds like when deciding to stop or moderate you could / have and do not experience the mental obsession that haunts a real alcoholic.

i truly love posts like this because they remind me that I’m different than that and reaffirms To me that I am powerless over alcohol.  

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3 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

I don’t think you grew up.  I think you are just plain vanilla normal.  You sound  like a typical drinker- maybe heavy at times,  who had few if any consequences.  It also sounds like when deciding to stop or moderate you could / have and do not experience the mental obsession that haunts a real alcoholic.

i truly love posts like this because they remind me that I’m different than that and reaffirms To me that I am powerless over alcohol.  

Couldn't have said it better.

You hear in AA sometimes that a shorthand for the program is to "grow the fuck up."  There's also a notion that your emotional development or intelligence becomes sort of frozen as of the time you started drinking pathologically.

But Hornius Emeritus' story kind of illustrates what we say about the test of whether you're an alcoholic.  First, do the consequences make it seem like stopping (or moderating) drinking is necessary or at least a very good idea, and second, can you stay stopped (or moderated)?  The catch is that even an alcoholic will feel pretty good about everything for a couple of weeks or months after stopping drinking.  It's later that the problems or compulsion arises again, if active recovery measures aren't taken.

It's pretty obvious that many surlsters are regular to heavy drinkers.  I'm guessing that no more than the usual 10% or so are problem drinkers/alcoholics.

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Posted (edited)

The 4th was not kind to me, well I should say I wasn’t kind to myself. So I was in day 13 sober starting to feel like my old self. My brother and I went to the store got some meat to grill, fireworks. I started the day with good intentions. I bought a pack of Heineken 0.0. My brother doesn’t know how bad my drinking is, but he supported my decision to go non-alcohol, he’s on a strict diet so it worked for him too. We’re 1 beer in both and we both almost at the same time said we feel buzzed, thought it was a placebo or something. Well we look at the Heineken box, and my dumbass self didn’t read it right. It has Heineken 0.0 in huge letters, also says extra 3 included, still a bit confusing as I look at the box now, could be read as 3 extra 0.0’s... I was also in a rush to get out of the store with covid and shit, but def my mistake for not reading it. So I finished my regular Heineken, got a buzz, honestly hit me kinda hard which is rare for beer, and that’s was the trigger and excuse to keep drinking more. Finished all the beers, except ironically the non alcohol beers, finished with a vodka. I had a great time to popping fireworks and enjoying the 4th. I didn’t go nearly as hard as I used to, but still woke up with a hangover today. Feel really disappointed today, but I am not going to start drinking again. Feel focused. 
 

Exact box:

5A9A6858-CA63-460C-BA8E-AA13E0609397.jpeg

Edited by hundredTT

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Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, hundredTT said:

The 4th was not kind to me, well I should say I wasn’t kind to myself. So I was in day 13 sober starting to feel like my old self. My brother and I went to the store got some meat to grill, fireworks. I started the day with good intentions. I bought a pack of Heineken 0.0. My brother doesn’t know how bad my drinking is, but he supported my decision to go non-alcohol, he’s on a strict diet so it worked for him too. We’re 1 beer in both and we both almost at the same time said we feel buzzed, thought it was a placebo or something. Well we look at the Heineken box, and my dumbass self didn’t read it right. It has Heineken 0.0 in huge letters, also says extra 3 included, still a bit confusing as I look at the box now, could be read as 3 extra 0.0’s... I was also in a rush to get out of the store with covid and shit, but def my mistake for not reading it. So I finished my regular Heineken, got a buzz, honestly hit me kinda hard which is rare for beer, and that’s was the trigger and excuse to keep drinking more. Finished all the beers, except ironically the non alcohol beers, finished with a vodka. I had a great time to popping fireworks and enjoying the 4th. I didn’t go nearly as hard as I used to, but still woke up with a hangover today. Feel really disappointed today, but I am not going to start drinking again. Feel focused. 
 

Exact box:

5A9A6858-CA63-460C-BA8E-AA13E0609397.jpeg

Relapses happen, sometimes even kind of by accident.  Don't let it bury you.  Kudos for your honesty.

Also, pro-tip.  The general rule on NA beer is a) it still has some alcohol in it and probably enough to goose those neural pathways and start up a craving if you guzzle them; and b) even if it was completely alcohol-free, it is "romancing the drink," which is not a good idea for the newly sober.

Edited by TwiceHorn

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13 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Relapses happen, sometimes even kind of by accident.  Don't let it bury you.  Kudos for your honesty.

Also, pro-tip.  The general rule on NA beer is a) it still has some alcohol in it and probably enough to goose those neural pathways and start up a craving if you guzzle them; and b) even if it was completely alcohol-free, it is "romancing the drink," which is not a good idea for the newly sober.

Yea, will not be making that mistake again. I tried a sip of it and it was nasty too. No point to even go down that path. 

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Posted (edited)

The whole "romancing the drink" issue is a little bit implicated by my love for fizzy water.

A lot of us find that if you're in a drinky social situation, you can get a club soda with lime so as not to stick out like a sore thumb.  Until you figure out that most people don't notice or give a shit whether you're drinking or not (and if they do, it's highly likely that they're working on a problem of their own).

From that, I learned that I liked fizzy water and started buying it first as club soda, then seltzer water, and then Topo and all the stuff available now.  By the time I became a real regular consumer of fizzy water, I was pretty secure in my sobriety.

But, at least as far as I can remember, a nice cold carbonated water is the closest facsimile to a cold beer on a hot day.  For that reason, I sometimes hesitate to recommend it to the newly sober.

Edited by TwiceHorn

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Relapses happen, sometimes even kind of by accident.  Don't let it bury you.  Kudos for your honesty.

Also, pro-tip.  The general rule on NA beer is a) it still has some alcohol in it and probably enough to goose those neural pathways and start up a craving if you guzzle them; and b) even if it was completely alcohol-free, it is "romancing the drink," which is not a good idea for the newly sober.

 

1 hour ago, hundredTT said:

Yea, will not be making that mistake again. I tried a sip of it and it was nasty too. No point to even go down that path. 

I asked about it in early sobriety as a thirty-year old who wasn't in any way ready deep down to actually give up alcohol. The wisest answer I got was, "Non-alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics". 

I remember somebody in outpatient rehab getting in trouble for drinking two non-alcoholic beers. The lengths this person was willing to go to in order to insist that regardless of what our rehab program's rules explicitly said about drinking them, and regardless of anyone else's experience and regardless of what the big deal about rationalizing stuff into "not a big deal", she knew in her heart that she could handle non-alcoholic beer. 

Of course she did have two of them, not one. And she did say "I wanted to try <some IPA> but I had the willpower to order a non-alcoholic beer instead!" So.

Hope she's sober wherever she is.

Edited by SwanderedTalent

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8 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

 

I asked about it in early sobriety as a thirty-year old who wasn't in any way ready deep down to actually give up alcohol. The wisest answer I got was, "Non-alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics". 

I remember somebody in outpatient rehab getting in trouble for drinking two non-alcoholic beers. The lengths this person was willing to go to in order to insist that regardless of what our rehab program's rules explicitly said about drinking them, and regardless of anyone else's experience and regardless of what the big deal about rationalizing stuff into "not a big deal", she knew in her heart that she could handle non-alcoholic beer. 

Of course she did have two of them, not one. And she did say "I wanted to try <some IPA> but I had the willpower to order a non-alcoholic beer instead!" So.

Hope she's sober wherever she is.

Interesting that there were "rules," and she "got in trouble."  In my first foray into sobriety, I went to an outpatient deal.  And in the first week I drank.  Sure enough, they tested us the following day.  I fessed up and expected a horsewhipping or something.

All I got was a big "meh," and one nurse said, "you're an alcoholic, that's what you do."  I think I got raked around a little in group in terms of psychology.  What were you thinking?  How did you feel?  Etc.

That whole kind of "whatever" response was really about perfect in terms of breaking into my "self regard" or "inward dwellingness" that is so much part of being a drunk.  So that's how I handle relapses with those I work with.

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17 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Interesting that there were "rules," and she "got in trouble."  In my first foray into sobriety, I went to an outpatient deal.

I'm using the wrong term for that stage. It wasn't the "OK, go home, see you 3x/wk and if you don't show up, we'll notify your insurance and you'll be on the hook for the cost of treatment" stage of outpatient treatment. It was the "OK, insurance doesn't want to pay for you to be in in-patient anymore, time for you to move to a sober house for lodging and then come to our facility from 9 to 3 daily for treatment" stage. I always forget what that's called. 

So we were still technically in in-patient (where the rules are far more strict), we just didn't live at the in-patient facility anymore at that point.

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19 hours ago, hundredTT said:

5A9A6858-CA63-460C-BA8E-AA13E0609397.jpeg

That is a horrible box.  Bad for those trying to avoid alcohol.  Bad for those actually drinking - WTF would I want with three 0.0% beers.

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9 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I'm using the wrong term for that stage. It wasn't the "OK, go home, see you 3x/wk and if you don't show up, we'll notify your insurance and you'll be on the hook for the cost of treatment" stage of outpatient treatment. It was the "OK, insurance doesn't want to pay for you to be in in-patient anymore, time for you to move to a sober house for lodging and then come to our facility from 9 to 3 daily for treatment" stage. I always forget what that's called. 

So we were still technically in in-patient (where the rules are far more strict), we just didn't live at the in-patient facility anymore at that point.

I get it, it makes sense. It just made me think of an event and kind of how "rules" typically aren't part of recovery, just guidelines.

The place I went was just a couple of weeks, IIRC.  I kind of phased into recovery over a period of 18-24 months, culminating in a 30 day inpatient stay.

I did as much damage to myself and my life in that 18-24 months as I did in pretty much my entire prior 15 years of drinking.  And the relapses and benders in that period never lasted more than about a week, and there weren't more than five of them.

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Marriage is falling apart, discovered emotional infidelity, spent the extended weekend with about 30 drunks... I'm still sober, and I'm loving every minute of it.

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4 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Marriage is falling apart, discovered emotional infidelity, spent the extended weekend with about 30 drunks... I'm still sober, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Sorry, man.  Might be for the best.

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52 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Marriage is falling apart, discovered emotional infidelity, spent the extended weekend with about 30 drunks... I'm still sober, and I'm loving every minute of it.

"Unfortunately or fortunately,  we have to pass through many an ebb and flow before we settle down to real peace " 

Remember the long term,  all the best to you.

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1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Sorry, man.  Might be for the best.

Negative.  Christ centered recovery.  I need Christ, she needs Christ, we need Christ.  

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Question for the collective. I’ve been a regular drinker for the past 20+ years. I could turn it off after 5-6 beers most nights and would probably drink 4-7 nights a week depending on what was going on.

Recently I realized that at some point I had become a gigantic asshole when I drink and for the next several days after. This realization forced me to do some self evaluation and made me come to the conclusion that I needed to stop. It’s been a couple of months since I’ve had a drink and I really have no desire to drink anymore.

I say all of this to give some background for my question. For a couple of weeks I was extremely lethargic. Just no energy to do shit. It seems to be turning around now and I’m feeling pretty good. Is this normal for someone giving up alcohol after so long? Thanks and I’ve enjoyed reading this thread. There are some damn good people in this community.

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32 minutes ago, EE2B said:

For a couple of weeks I was extremely lethargic. Just no energy to do shit. It seems to be turning around now and I’m feeling pretty good. Is this normal for someone giving up alcohol after so long?

That's really hard to say. It varies a lot based on age and physiology. Some newly sober people will be extremely energetic, some will want to hibernate. I wrote and deleted a lot of speculative stuff, there are just so many variables it's really hard to say what it's down to.

But thinking it through, I'm pretty sure you have leukemia.

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Squandered is right...probably leukemia - covid induced at that.

But, it could be just your body's reaction and very easily be related to "carb-flu".  Same deal as anyone who has done Atkins, Keto or whatever...your body goes through withdrawals because it has been conditioned to live on those alcohol carbs for so long.  It'll pass.

Many of us experienced "unexplained" cravings for sweets when we dried out and come to find out it was a natural reaction to cutting out the sugars/carbs when we quit.

Glad to hear that you were able to identify something that was objectionable to you and take action. 

Don't be a stranger if you like what you read here. 

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First, let me say kudos to being willing to do an honest self evaluation. It took me a lot longer (and more negative consequences) to get to that point. Carbs (or lack there of), cerebral neurotransmitters and receptors (dopamine and seratonin) get altered with long term drinking. It can take while for you body to readjust to not receiving the stimulus is was before. My first 30 days were a blur of highs and lows. Totally normal. Or, it could be leukemia. Glad you are feeling better. 

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