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Kel Varnsen

do you ever yearn?

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24 minutes ago, Jimbaround said:

Sweet, I was just wondering when this one would show up.

It's a Festivus miracle!

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

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FRANK: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!

MRS. ROSS: Something's missing all right.

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42 minutes ago, Billy Pilgrim said:

You don't even know what is, do you?

Damn- don't know how to edit a post yet.

 

you don't even know what a write off is, do you?

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Peterman: Oh, Elaine just called, she won't be joining us. Not to worry, I'll

tell the maitre'd it'll just be the three bulls.

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This is Frank Costanza. You think you can keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court. And I dare you to keep me out!

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anyone else listen to the seincast podcast?  im a huge nerd but enjoy the hour+ breakdown of the episodes as a i walk the dog.

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23 hours ago, Kel Varnsen said:

FRANK: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!

MRS. ROSS: Something's missing all right.

The rooster has sex with all of them.

That's perverse!

 

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3 hours ago, NOMAAA said:

anyone else listen to the seincast podcast?  im a huge nerd but enjoy the hour+ breakdown of the episodes as a i walk the dog.

I recommend the Seinfeld Post Show recap podcast, with ex-Survivor podcaster Rob Cesternino.  Very funny.

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17 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Did Future Man not make the jump?

Mr. Kramer says "Hey, buddy".

what??  when did this happen?   DARREN!!

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Elaine: Why should you get the first class?

Jerry: Elaine, have you ever flown first class?

Elaine: No.

Jerry: All right then. See? You won't know what you're missing. I've flown first class, Elaine-- I can't go back to coach. I can't... I won't...

 

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2 hours ago, Bosco said:

I recommend the Seinfeld Post Show recap podcast, with ex-Survivor podcaster Rob Cesternino.  Very funny.

Username checks out.

 

Ah, all right, yeah... Let's see... Well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you. You're a word man. Let's go deeper... What kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations. But what tempts you? You're a portly fellow. A bit long in the waistband. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no... Yours is a sweet tooth. Oh, you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master... The cocoa bean! And only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you. If you could, you'd guzzle it by the gallon... Ovaltine!? Hershey's!? Nestle's Quick!?

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"The man on the tape was not specific."

 

With two boys in the house, my wife often says, "Why are y'all screaming?" She rolls her eye when I answer with that line, but deep down, she loves it.

Edited by HornOnTheBayou

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1 hour ago, PantsTent said:

You know, I hope there are pig men. You got a few of these pig men walking around and suddenly I don't look so bad. 

Watched this one last night.  A whole army of pig warriors!

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10 hours ago, pokeNbeans said:

... like an old man trying to return soup at a deli!

I tell ya he was ten stories high if he was a foot.

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Jerry: This isn’t a good time.

Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir?

Jerry: I have an idea, why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you back later?

Telemarketer: Umm, we’re not allowed to do that.

Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don’t want strangers calling you at home.

Telemarketer: Umm, no.

Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.

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George: You’re gonna over-dry your laundry.

Jerry: You can’t over-dry.

George: Why not?

Jerry: Same reason you can’t over-wet.

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