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Ben Tobin

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Ben Tobin

  1. Remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing?
  2. You kiddin? I’d fuck a snake if somebody would hold it’s head. Hell, I’d fuck a woodpile looking for a snake. And I ain’t even from Alabama
  3. I’d probably try crack once. Wouldn’t want to know how or where to get it, but I’d hit it. Like out at the lease or something. And June wrote Ring, not Johnny
  4. So, stacked floor to ceiling with your winter stash, eh?
  5. Man, I love Last Picture Show so much it almost hurts to watch
  6. I'm curious to see what they do with the other spinoff, Yellowstain. Supposebly, it's a sort of 'origin story' for Cayce that seeks to explain, through flashbacks, why he NEVER WASHES HIS GODDAMN FACE.
  7. ‘You big dummy’ is in regular rotation
  8. Think about a really pissed off 40 lb dog. Now imagine that dog climbing up and riding you while he chews through your neck
  9. Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to
  10. Sir, it is the private’s duty to inform the Senior Drill Instructor that Walker Jr has a full tank and is gay and loaded, sir!
  11. And Texas is Tennessee's big, fat baby brother
  12. That’s about as Alabama as a face can get
  13. Yeeeaah, you're gonna need him to go ahead and come in on that Saturday. Ok? Greeeaaat.
  14. Put a tree in your butt, Put a bumblebee in your butt
  15. Wonder which trump spawn wants his seat. They're moving this chicken hawk out.
  16. I just want one of them to really, really try to convince me. Give it their absolute best shot.
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