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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. Man, my old man to get a John Birch society mailer, which at the time I thought was cool. I have awakened since then. There are two parties. One is a facist piece of shit. Don’t vote for that.
  2. I tell you what, these stupid asshats like Paxton, Patrick and Abbott want a war, they’ll fucking get one. Most of us real Texans don’t miss, either.
  3. I’m pretty sure I have enough shit to smear all over South Carolina and Lindsey Graham. I’ll start there and drag my ass in reverse Sherman mode.
  4. Is there like a list of Republican (ie facist pedo basements) places that I can go take a crap in like a San Francisco homeless person?
  5. I get why they charge for it, we had a party of 4 and bought a good amount of food and drink, but I saw a few tables of people just eating chips and salsa for like an hour or more.
  6. If any of you miscreants are in South Austin, I’m meeting some friends after church and about to plow through a Mexican martini and 2 carne guisada burritos at Maudie’s Hacienda. I’m wearing a Whataburger baseball hat and some queso on my shirt.
  7. I like the “cook thoroughly” comment. Like if having a $3 pizza I’m gonna follow any directions whatsoever.
  8. Go to the place on 1626 by the railroad tracks. Fast and efficient.
  9. I feel bad for getting an erection, washing dishes and mowing the entire yard while reading this. Some people have too much time on their hands.
  10. This is how you surly!
  11. Reminds me of the last time I staggered into a West Texas confessional. Stupid me thought the priest was on the other side grunting and groaning, until I knocked on the wall and heard “no use knocking, ain’t no toilet paper on this side neither! “
  12. The dude has lost his fucking mind. It’s ok I guess like you said if that’s your fetish.
  13. You can fuck right off. Repeatedly.
  14. If you have a point you might want to make it. Lots of posts and words, not much meaningful content. You also come across as a condescending fucktard. I don’t like you very much, and that’s a low fucking bar. From a south austinite, you should change your username to Rand Paul or some other useless shit.
  15. Had leftover meatloaf but no taters. So… warm meatloaf with white American cheese on Texas toast stuck under the broiler . Topped with brown gravy and black pepper.
  16. I'm slowly becoming a huge 2nd amendment fan.
  17. Naw, that’s what the ladders over the fences were for.
  18. Once upon a time I wrecked my dirt bike on a gravel road and my pinky finger was stuck under the end of the handlebar grip. Ripped the nail right off. Between adrenaline and being scared my parents would be mad and take my motorcycle away, I limped home, stuck the fingernail back in place and put a bandaid on it. That lasted a couple hours until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Ended up at the doctor with my mom. Luckily the root was still there so it grew back. Never rode thru fire though.
  19. One of the coolest memories I have of my late dad, was once on a road trip to Midland, I had to piss but he didn't want to stop, so he gave me a coke can and said have at it. It was hard to piss in a can, but I managed. My sister started laughing at me and wouldn't stop. Pops told her "You might think it's so damned funny now, but you're gonna hold that can until we get where we are going!" And she held a can of my warm piss until we got to the next town.
  20. To clarify, he was working there as a contractor for a company that worked for DoD.
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