Jump to content
El Diablo

I'm An Alcoholic

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)
On 3/16/2020 at 7:38 PM, Celery Man said:

I gotta come clean about something
5a840dc1d997342679a347f59946760f.jpg

Bro, your taste in carbonated non-alcoholic beverages is absolute shit. And you're a hoarding bitch.

Glad I don't suffer from those issues like you.

KIMG0549.thumb.JPG.1c6bbee5759f17534914d7d6d67d9115.JPG

 

Edited by BurntEyes

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/17/2020 at 9:07 PM, BBQ2Bayou said:

spacer.png

Posted this in the prepper thread, but I wasn't prepping. I just found out they were the same price on Prime as the store and I have a set of stairs going up to my apartment. So might as well let someone else walk them up. Guess that doesn't explain why I ordered so much,. That's just from being bad at moderation. 

 

Hah... Didn't scroll far enough.

This man fucks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/17/2020 at 7:54 AM, Celery Man said:

Yeah I don’t know what this would be like for me a few short years back.  I don’t know that I’d be able to horde enough booze.  Can’t imagine if they shut down liquor stores.

Folks lurking - we’re thinking about you.  

Back in my pro days, fellony B&E would have seriously crossed my mind. I am going to say I would have gotten ahead of the curve with enough booze to drown in, and even if I didn't I wouldn't cross that line.

But it would be in my fucking head and... Well... 

I'll echo with anyone needing to talk with someone feel free to PM me. Door is open, feel free to walk in because you are welcome.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

Back in my pro days, fellony B&E would have seriously crossed my mind. I am going to say I would have gotten ahead of the curve with enough booze to drown in, and even if I didn't I wouldn't cross that line.

But it would be in my fucking head and... Well... 

I'll echo with anyone needing to talk with someone feel free to PM me. Door is open, feel free to walk in because you are welcome.

Liquor stores are being listed as 'Essential Retail' and are allowed to stay open, at least in Dallas County.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, JohnnyRage said:

Liquor stores are being listed as 'Essential Retail' and are allowed to stay open, at least in Dallas County.

Guess they don't want DT and detox cases clogging up ERs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Guess they don't want DT and detox cases clogging up ERs.

I doubt that the decision was that benevolent for the alcoholic that still suffers. It was probably to prevent blow back, and another shortage crisis.

Edited by JohnnyRage

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
44 minutes ago, JohnnyRage said:

Liquor stores are being listed as 'Essential Retail' and are allowed to stay open, at least in Dallas County.

Yeah I'm aware. Was just responding to the hypothetical and pointing out/admitting my level of issue. Probably mostly to myself.

I'm really grateful I'm sober right now. I would not do well with this otherwise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I haven't posted for months. I'm scared to even see this thread. I've still been drinking since I last posted; maybe Augustish? I'm able to stop for a few days,  but the cycle always repeats. With the Corona stuff happening, I admit I'm scared. Drinking had led to weight gain and very bad sleep apnea. I'm worried my lungs are fucked up, and this virus could probably kill me. I know I sound like I'm full of shit, but I've quit several times, but I'm going to try again. I know that "prisoner of the moment" is not a good thing, but does anyone know of online resources I can do? Or maybe an online sponsor from here can help, during this quarantine time? I'm ready to be not this version of myself.  

Hey apologies for just now seeing this, I'd be happy to help - you up for a phone call sometime tomorrow? Good on you for reaching out, thanks for letting us know what's going on.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One thing I'm doing is playing AA zoom meeting tourist. Went to meetings in Boston, and then the Austin Northland meetings today, all from my dining room table.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My home group is shut down due to county restrictions but we are doing some Zoom meetings.  This worries me because we typically have only about a month extra of rent in the bank.  We have a Pay Pal link on our website where I have and will continue to donate but I can only hope others are doing the same.  Here's to hoping our landlord is understanding.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, Sparky said:

My home group is shut down due to county restrictions but we are doing some Zoom meetings.  This worries me because we typically have only about a month extra of rent in the bank.  We have a Pay Pal link on our website where I have and will continue to donate but I can only hope others are doing the same.  Here's to hoping our landlord is understanding.

we're not nearly as digitally savvy as we should be-- I've asked in the past about Venmo, things like that, and I think up until now the reaction's been "yeah, good idea, we'll get to it.... when we get to it"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
On 3/24/2020 at 2:08 PM, BurntEyes said:

Back in my pro days, fellony B&E would have seriously crossed my mind.

Absolutely, 100% true. I've never considered it in terms of "let me pack up my crowbar and head to Oak Liquor Cabinet", but I have thought about it in terms of "OK, if all the stores were closed and I needed vodka, how would I go about breaking into the store? Doesn't seem like you can get in through the roof, maybe the back door? Where are the cameras?"

like way too much thought.... I was going to do for me what God would not do, if push came to shove

Edited by SwanderedTalent

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Sparky said:

My home group is shut down due to county restrictions but we are doing some Zoom meetings.  This worries me because we typically have only about a month extra of rent in the bank.  We have a Pay Pal link on our website where I have and will continue to donate but I can only hope others are doing the same.  Here's to hoping our landlord is understanding.

We usually keep a prudent reserve of about 90 days expenses.

Here's a link to Northland's zoom meeting schedule - https://www.northlandgroup.org/ - it's pretty much public record at this point.  I'm a little worried that you have to go in and change your name in zoom to first name, last initial - way too many people have first and last name in their zoom login.  Also, closed vs. open meetings, men's/women's meetings can't really be enforced. . .

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Really good zoom meeting tonight, here is a link to a google docs list - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gr3IfHHon6qR6MIZ1VTq4GvvtN_8j3Av/view

 

I'm afraid that after this quarentine my home group might split due to discord, there is one jackass who insists on defying the steering committee - and the stay home order - by holding meetings on the covered patio at our building and then accusing the rest of us of denying recovery to newcomers. Actually quoting the big book at us.

 

Pretty sure he's not actually an alcoholic. Years ago he was led away from celebrate recovery in handcuffs and a restraining order. Garden variety pendergast and psychopath, armed with a big book.

 

I think I want him to get Coronavirus just to prove my point.

 

Dang it, I'll go read page 67 now.

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

AA groups fall into essential service mental health care and are exempt here in a Dallas and Rockwall.

It caused discord in my home group but was handled appropriately at Group Conscience with a coinciding Zoom piped in.

Edited by JohnnyRage

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AA groups fall into essential service mental health care and are exempt here in a Dallas and Rockwall.
It caused discord in my home group but was handled appropriately at Group Conscience with a coinciding Zoom piped in.
So online only? What was the discord?

I've got a buddy in the Irving group whose daughter has the virus, and local friend whose best friend has it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

So online only? What was the discord?
 

If the liquor stores are open, we're open.

People trying to take polls, make decisions, call emergency GC's on social media.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Really good zoom meeting tonight, here is a link to a google docs list - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gr3IfHHon6qR6MIZ1VTq4GvvtN_8j3Av/view

 

I'm afraid that after this quarentine my home group might split due to discord, there is one jackass who insists on defying the steering committee - and the stay home order - by holding meetings on the covered patio at our building and then accusing the rest of us of denying recovery to newcomers. Actually quoting the big book at us.

 

Pretty sure he's not actually an alcoholic. Years ago he was led away from celebrate recovery in handcuffs and a restraining order. Garden variety pendergast and psychopath, armed with a big book.

 

I think I want him to get Coronavirus just to prove my point.

 

Dang it, I'll go read page 67 now.

 

 

 

 

 

How bad does it have to be to get hauled off from Celebrate Recovery in handcuffs? Good grief.  Our ilk tend to work at this to get out of handcuffs- not go into them.

Hopefully  cooler heads will prevail and your group comes out of this unified and reinvigorated by the experience as a result of applying the steps and traditions.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

How bad does it have to be to get hauled off from Celebrate Recovery in handcuffs? Good grief.  Our ilk tend to work at this to get out of handcuffs- not go into them.

Hopefully  cooler heads will prevail and your group comes out of this unified and reinvigorated by the experience as a result of applying the steps and traditions.  

Pretty bad, from what I heard about that particular episode.

Last week the building chair changed the locks on our home group building and he actually broke in and hosted the birthday night meeting this past Friday.  The master breaker box was padlocked - he brought bolt cutters and cut the lock and turned on power, and taped a $10 bill next to it as "payment" for the lock.  The police were called but because he is a steering committee member charges can't be filed.  He bought pizza and then gave the receipt to the treasurer, expecting payment - knowing full well that we've never bought pizza for birthday night, it's potluck.

I could go on and on about the damage that I (and many others) perceive he has done to people - inside and outside of the rooms - over the last 7 years he has been around.  Statutory rape, bad faith business dealings (he is a slum lord and used car dealer) just a litany of stuff.  To this day he has never once spoken about his drinking, my opinion is that he's a garden variety sociopath that found a group that wouldn't throw him out.

Talked to my sponsor about it and our consensus is he's none of our business.  Closest I've ever wanted someone to get struck drunk though.

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Damn - That would make for a good beginning to an intriguing novel or Law and Order episode.

I hope your group survives his antics and that he moves on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My Aunt has been in AA for decades. While I think she probably overdid it more than most "normal" people, I've heard my  mom say a couple times that she doesn't think she's probably an alcoholic, but needed some sort of support and fit in there. She didn't say it in a resentful way or anything (my mom is one of the "normal" drinkers), just an observation. 

But it's been good for her spiritually I think and she quit drinking altogether, so I don't see why anyone else would care. I'm wondering if this happens quite a bit with AA? Not the kind of person that @BearSchlongis talking about, but the people like my Aunt that are perhaps searching for something in way of support and end up there. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I don't know that anyone has to fit the description of an alcoholic to want to quit drinking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kind of an interesting question would be, does she just go to the meetings or have a sponsor and work the steps?

Working the steps can be difficult, but it's beneficial to anyone.  Some people just innately live according to the steps.  My church (Methodist) has had a more explicitly Christian/Bible oriented 12-step program for anyone without professing any kind of dependency off and on for years.

Because AA is more than a "support group" in the Fight Club sense.  It has that element, sure, but it's a program of action and the meetings are kind of a launching pad for that action.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

years ago we had an old guy, "Fred" who attended meetings regularly. Fred was not as well equipped as many on the IQ scale. He'd introduce himself by name and "emotional problems". Don't know that he ever shared in a meeting but he was a fixture and a sweet, gentle soul. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Kind of an interesting question would be, does she just go to the meetings or have a sponsor and work the steps?

Working the steps can be difficult, but it's beneficial to anyone.  Some people just innately live according to the steps.  My church (Methodist) has had a more explicitly Christian/Bible oriented 12-step program for anyone without professing any kind of dependency off and on for years.

Because AA is more than a "support group" in the Fight Club sense.  It has that element, sure, but it's a program of action and the meetings are kind of a launching pad for that action.

I don't know about that. I've never talked to her about my own problem or hers. I know she's made a lot of good friends from it all over the country and always finds them when out of town, so maybe it helped and then just became part of her social life. Maybe she worked the hell out of the steps and couldn't have stopped without it. Maybe both. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/29/2020 at 2:21 PM, BearSchlong said:

So online only? What was the discord?

I've got a buddy in the Irving group whose daughter has the virus, and local friend whose best friend has it.

Does he go the The Gift in Irving?  Several members there were influential in my staying sober early on and I have always been grateful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, pch said:

Does he go the The Gift in Irving?  Several members there were influential in my staying sober early on and I have always been grateful.

Me too. Did you ever meet old man Sam before he passed on? If I had known what I was doing or had the guts my first go around, I would have asked him to be my sponsor. In a weird way he was kind of like my first sponsor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, pch said:

Does he go the The Gift in Irving?  Several members there were influential in my staying sober early on and I have always been grateful.

Not sure if that's the group or not, Stuart R. is my friend's name.  He's almost your age in sobriety time. . .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Part of it might be that some people are just more teachable than others. I had to get to the suicidal "drinking for oblivion" phase and not everyone I know in the program got there or got close, so I do hear stories of what it was like and think "I would never have been able to stop at that point".

But then I'm sure there are plenty of people in some of the rooms that hear my story and since the money and house and job and family were still there think "ah, it could have been worse". 

That part does worry me sometimes. I try not to futurecast but it does cross my mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, JohnnyRage said:

Me too. Did you ever meet old man Sam before he passed on? If I had known what I was doing or had the guts my first go around, I would have asked him to be my sponsor. In a weird way he was kind of like my first sponsor.

Ray C., Jerry T. and Sam were all role models.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is clearly not what we're talking about here but the issue with non-alcoholics finding a thing they are looking for in AA meetings is if they are looking for a captive audience for their complaints.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This is clearly not what we're talking about here but the issue with non-alcoholics finding a thing they are looking for in AA meetings is if they are looking for a captive audience for their complaints.
Exactly. Hostages.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep.  Seen it in alanon a bunch, and I imagine it's the same in any 12 step group.  You know immediately when they start sharing that it's gonna be a long one.   

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I recently learned from a speaker in a how to chair person workshop that even in an open meeting in his experience it’s not appropriate to call on to share that is an observer or someone that does not identify as alcoholic or that does not have a desire to stop drinking, including addicts (he added the caveat he’s only ever met one addict that was also not alcoholic).

 

I recently had encounters with someone that was strange about her identification as an alcoholic, and she asked really newbie questions for someone that had her amount of sobriety. I subsequently learned from a friend that was asked to be her sponsor that this person confided in her that she did not have a problem with drinking. It was probably more of a problem with self image, social anxiety, and loneliness.
 

So my friend had to let her go as a Sponsee. Her reply was one of comfort and that it was OK because she had another sponsor at a different group.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I’m a couple days away from 6 months. I’ve done a lot of introspection. Does anyone else feel they drank more around old friends because that’s what the friends expected. Almost like a performance. I was the type that tried to make sure everyone had fun so always ordered shots, cracked the jokes, etc. I’d always get hammered and basically give people stories to laugh at. I think I played up in my mind that I HAD to go above and beyond because that was my reputation. It became so exhausting. The same friends I “performed” for are the ones that set this six months of Sobriety in motion, so they weren’t egging me on or making the situation worse. 
 

Not going to the bar, the COVID hysteria, and stability has given me LOTS of time to think. It’s nice to see my wit, happiness, and since of fulfillment continue to grow. That being me is ok. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My guess is that your expectation of the situation was clouded by your desire/need to drink.  I know mine was - I often found my self buying rounds to keep everyone drinking with me.  Good work on the nearly 6 months.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

My guess is that your expectation of the situation was clouded by your desire/need to drink.  I know mine was - I often found my self buying rounds to keep everyone drinking with me.  Good work on the nearly 6 months.

That’s well put. I certainly agree. Thanks. I’ll add that to my mental map.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, ocugolf said:

That’s well put. I certainly agree. Thanks. I’ll add that to my mental map.

I learned quickly on this thread and the shag thread, that a lot of these guys here can put into words exactly what you're trying to, but can't.  There's a shitload of empathy and experience here. Congrats on the 6 months. Keep on keepin' on. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, ocugolf said:

So I’m a couple days away from 6 months. I’ve done a lot of introspection. Does anyone else feel they drank more around old friends because that’s what the friends expected. Almost like a performance. I was the type that tried to make sure everyone had fun so always ordered shots, cracked the jokes, etc. I’d always get hammered and basically give people stories to laugh at. I think I played up in my mind that I HAD to go above and beyond because that was my reputation. It became so exhausting. The same friends I “performed” for are the ones that set this six months of Sobriety in motion, so they weren’t egging me on or making the situation worse. 
 

Not going to the bar, the COVID hysteria, and stability has given me LOTS of time to think. It’s nice to see my wit, happiness, and since of fulfillment continue to grow. That being me is ok. 

A couple of my best drinking buddies were also (surprising to me) two of the most supportive of my sobriety.  I mentioned this to them one time, and they pointed out that they were usually the ones that ended up giving me a ride home or otherwise dealing with my drunk ass.  They said it's now nice to call me to go out for "a drink" and have me give my own self a ride home after my ginger beer at the country club.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your buddies are the same as I was with my AA golf buddy. I tried to be as supportive of him as I knew to be and I have to thank a lot of the participants of this thread for that guidance.

RIP Shippy, I miss you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

A couple of my best drinking buddies were also (surprising to me) two of the most supportive of my sobriety.  I mentioned this to them one time, and they pointed out that they were usually the ones that ended up giving me a ride home or otherwise dealing with my drunk ass.  They said it's now nice to call me to go out for "a drink" and have me give my own self a ride home after my ginger beer at the country club.  

I found the same thing.  Exactly.  And also the same as Golf mentioned.   I've since gotten a lot of questions from other former drinking buddies that I still hang out with how I did it, how it is going for me.  Even helped one get into a local rehab for 90 days.   Two of them still drink were two that kept in touch with me in rehab....writing letters and sending me care packages.  Will be 11 months in 6 days since I limped in to rehab.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank fucking God my wife had a lengthy conversation with her sponsor yesterday and then found some Zoom-based Al Anon meetings today.  I'm proud of her.

My 20 year old daughter has been with us for 3 weeks since Mizzou cancelled in-person classes, which is the longest continuous time that my wife has spent with her ever.  Usually she's the cool stepmom that pops into town for a weekend and parties with my daughter and her Kappa sisters.

My daughter is basically my twin, with the exception that she's more disciplined and maintains a very high GPA in the honors college and Journalism school.  She's a part time waitress at a bar and grill, and she knows all about the way I drank and the physical allergy.  I'm working with the assumption that either her or her brother might end up with the phenomenon of craving, if family history holds true.

Anyway, last night after talking to her sponsor my wife admitted that she's been obsessed over the quantity my daughter drinks - in 3 weeks she's had a 12 pack of white claw, a liter of Titos (Bloody Marys), and maybe 6 beers.  I don't think I have ever seen her drunk.  Her drinking doesn't even register on my radar as problematic, just normal college student.  Never entered my mind that there's a problem.

Wife admitted she was monitoring the vodka bottles, quantity of booze in the fridge, etc, and was driving herself crazy and getting huge resentments about my daughter.  I was incredulous that she went full untreated Al Anon for a week, told her I was proud that she recognized her behavior and reached out for help.  Her qualifier is her ex husband - she and I met during my 8th month of sobriety.

That being said, we're handling the COVID-19 with dignity and grace, no real drama or disagreements - just the added person to our household.  It wasn't that many years ago I was drinking and terrorizing my kids, now welcoming them into a loving household.

Oh yeah, My son graduates from A&M and gets his Army commission on May 8, goes into the US Army Medical Service Corps, and then goes to Korea for a year on September 9.  Heck of a time to start that gig, right?  I feel for his non-army pals who went through corporate recruiting only to have job offers rescinded.  Shitty time to be graduating.

Edited by BearSchlong

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, ocugolf said:

6 months today. Crazy. Thanks for being there and being great role models and examples. 6 freaking months.

Fantastic job!  Let's keep it up, shall we?  

I'm REALLY missing my Sunday morning meeting.  I LOVE going to it and really is the only meeting I go to some weeks.  It is that solid.  And I was horning in on a Zoom meeting through my IOP buddies, but that place finally got organized  and started doing it through their 'official' site, so I'm out of that.  Oh well.  Just talking to guys now....but I miss that face to face time.  

Edited by hullabelew

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is anybody else's meetings being affected by these zoomshitters? My group now requires a zoom password to join the meeting which eliminates any possibility of newcomers or visitors from another group. How are your groups handling the issue?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


mpu


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Recruiting ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Help ... For Sale ... Politics ... Board Discussion
×
×
  • Create New...