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https://www.local10.com/news/florida/florida-man-denies-syringes-found-in-rectum-are-his

When Scott was searched at the jail, officers found three syringes inside his rectum.

However, Scott claimed he had found the syringes and they were not his, although he did not explain how they wound up in his buttocks.

If I had a dollar for every time...

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https://www.local10.com/news/florida/florida-man-denies-syringes-found-in-rectum-are-his
When Scott was searched at the jail, officers found three syringes inside his rectum.
However, Scott claimed he had found the syringes and they were not his, although he did not explain how they wound up in his buttocks.
If I had a dollar for every time...

Swish, nothing but colon!

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One reason why Florida seems so abnormally crazy is their open records laws are very broad. This allows for the details of crimes to be released, more than in other states. Think about how fucked the Patriots owner is right now with a tape of him gettin' a handy from a whore.

Anyway, it's also got a lot of crazy fucks.

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I lived in Florida for about 2 years, a long time ago.  Even while in Florida, I never really met any Florida apologists or people that were particularly proud to be from Florida.  Most could take it or leave it, like being from Idaho or Vermont.  And you live in Austin, you meet people moving here from every corner of the nation...but you don't really encounter many people from Florida.  Maybe something to do with the fact I no longer dabble in the flesh trade.  Having said that, I have a close business colleague now who's in-laws are all from Florida and wow, they could not be more proud of Florida.  It is fascinating to hear them go on and on about how awesome Florida is, it's just awash in luxury goods and services, beautiful people, super business climate, and the cherry on top-their family is one of the coolest, most respected families in their suburb going back multiple generations.  Listening to them regale us with their tales of yore is like listening to the gang from Bayside High.  Only Bayside High School is a trailer park.  And Mr. Belding helps them cook meth.  And Screech is the normal one.  

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13 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

The station reported Anderson allegedly told officers his driver’s license was suspended 41 years ago and he has never gotten it back.

 

Living the dream.

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https://www.islandpacket.com/news/local/crime/article230253169.html

A 38-year-old Florida man died Thursday night when he was struck by multiple vehicles on Interstate 95 in Jasper County after he side-swiped a train in his car then ran onto the interstate, officials say.

The collision occurred at 9:48 p.m. near mile marker 25, about three miles south of Ridgeland, according to S.C. Highway Patrol.

The man was on a trip with a woman he’d met on the internet, Jasper County coroner Martin Sauls said Friday.

“They somehow or another got off I-95 and got onto a service road for the railroad and a train came by and sideswiped their vehicle,” he said.
 

The man apparently got into a disagreement with the conductor about who had the right of way before the man ran from the scene, climbed the fence, and ran out onto the middle of I-95, Sauls said.

He could have been hit by anywhere between 25 and 50 cars before they got everything stopped,” he said.

The Highway Patrol report says that the man was traveling east across the southbound lanes when he was struck by the cars.

He was already dead when a 2011 Suburu SUV — driven by a 73-year-old man also from Florida — traveling south hit his body in the left lane. The driver of this car called 911.

Neither the driver nor the passenger in the SUV, who were both wearing seat belts at the time of the crash, were injured.

The identity of the man will be released upon next of kin being notified, Sauls said.

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https://mb.ntd.com/man-charged-with-killing-family-wants-millionaire-to-free-him-from-jail_329973.html

A Florida man who police said killed his brother and parents has been trying to get assistance in his legal fight against the charges, seeking the help of a millionaire or a news station.

Amato was arrested in January after allegedly slaughtering his family members.

He has not taken well to jail and has tried offering interviews for money to help pay his $750,000 bond, according to emails obtained by the Orlando Sentinel.

In an email dated May 11 sent to Colin Archdeacon, a video journalist based in New York, Amato said that he needed help securing money to meet the bond........

.........Sloan Young, Cody Amato’s girlfriend, told police that over the past few months there had been problems with Grant Amato and that he’d stolen $60,000 from his brother in addition to guns that he later sold. Cody Amato had told Young he was afraid that his brother was going to kill everyone.

The family later discovered that Grant Amato, after getting kicked out of nurse anesthetist school, got into a relationship with a female from Bulgaria and used the stolen money to contact the girl through a pornographic website. He also lost his job after stealing drugs from his boss.

The night before the death, Young told an investigator that she was at work with her boyfriend when Cody Amato told her that his father had called and asked him to go to the family home because something was wrong. He left. About 30 minutes later, she texted him and he replied that everything was fine, and she didn’t need to worry about him. She never heard from him again.

Jason Amato, the half-brother of Cody and Grant, also told police about the Bulgarian call girl. He said that Grant Amato had stolen $150,000 from Chad Amato in addition to some $50,000 from Cody Amato.

Grant Amato eventually surrendered to police and has pleaded not guilty.

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https://www.clickorlando.com/news/suspected-arsonist-leads-deputies-on-chase-in-general-lee-replica-deputies-say

 

MARION COUNTY, Fla. - A man driving a Dodge Charger painted to look like the General Lee from the "Dukes of Hazzard" TV show led deputies on a chase Tuesday night after he set fire to his wife's home in Marion County, according to authorities.

Oswald Pereira, 44, of Morriston, faces charges of arson, fleeing and attempting to elude law enforcement, resisting without violence and three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Marion County sheriff's officials said Pereira set fire to a home in southwest Marion County before leading deputies on a chase into Levy County, where he was found hiding in the closet of a mobile home. Pereira had burns over 15% of his body and was taken to UF Health Shands Hospital in Gainesville, officials said.

Flames ripped through the roof of the home on SW 103rd Loop, where he got into an argument with his ex-wife before starting the blaze, deputies said.

 

Marion County house fire arson

"It was horrible. The flames were shooting through the roof," neighbor Shirley Gravelle said. "I feel bad for the children, because on top of everything else they're going through, now they have to worry about their family members and what they're doing."

Other than Pereira, no injuries were reported in the fire, and two dogs were rescued from the blaze.

WATCH THE FULL DEPUTY CAR CHASE

 

center-16x9-000.jpg

A pursuit then led deputies into Levy County, back to Marion County and again into Levy County. Deputies said Pereira ditched the Dodge Charger, which had the No. 74 painted on the sides of the car, and began driving a GMC Yukon. Authorities used a PIT maneuver to stop the Yukon, officials said.  

Pereira ran into a mobile home and was arrested, deputies said.

 

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A 29-year-old woman was arrested Monday evening after striking a hospital worker with a “used” feminine product that the suspect had removed from her pants, padarrest.jpgpolice report.

Defendant Coffii Castellion sought treatment in the emergency room of the Mease Dunedin Hospital, which is about seven miles from her residence in Largo, a Tampa Bay suburb.

While in the hospital, cops say, Castellion swiped seven bathing cloths and ten sets of hospital slippers estimated to be worth a combined $10.79. That minor pilferage cost Castellion a felony rap since she has two prior theft convictions.

Castellion then doubled up her docket sheet when she allegedly “took a feminine pad from underneath her pants and threw it at a health care provider,” striking the female victim in the stomach with the "used product." Seen above, Castellion was charged with battery on health service personnel.

After posting $7000 bond yesterday morning, Castellion was freed from the county jail.

In addition to her theft priors, Castellion has been convicted of narcotics possession; battery on a law enforcement officer; obstruction; violating probation; filing a false police report; failure to appear in court; and providing a false name to police. (1 page)

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On 5/6/2019 at 9:45 PM, Lobo said:

I lived in Florida for about 2 years, a long time ago.  Even while in Florida, I never really met any Florida apologists or people that were particularly proud to be from Florida.  Most could take it or leave it, like being from Idaho or Vermont.  And you live in Austin, you meet people moving here from every corner of the nation...but you don't really encounter many people from Florida.  Maybe something to do with the fact I no longer dabble in the flesh trade.  Having said that, I have a close business colleague now who's in-laws are all from Florida and wow, they could not be more proud of Florida.  It is fascinating to hear them go on and on about how awesome Florida is, it's just awash in luxury goods and services, beautiful people, super business climate, and the cherry on top-their family is one of the coolest, most respected families in their suburb going back multiple generations.  Listening to them regale us with their tales of yore is like listening to the gang from Bayside High.  Only Bayside High School is a trailer park.  And Mr. Belding helps them cook meth.  And Screech is the normal one.  

"Florida Boys"

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14 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

While in the hospital, cops say, Castellion swiped seven bathing cloths and ten sets of hospital slippers estimated to be worth a combined $10.79. That minor pilferage cost Castellion a felony rap since she has two prior theft convictions.

regard

[ ri-gahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-gahrd for 4 ]SHOW IPA

verb (used with object)

to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder orimpede.

verb (used without object)

to be delayed.

noun

a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
Slang : Disparaging and Offensive .
  1. a contemptuous term used to refer to a person who is cognitively impaired.
  2. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way:a hopeless social regard.

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A Pensacola man was arrested for allegedly exposing his genitals and scooting toward women while riding a Walmart in-store scooter.

Kejuan Mccants, 27, was arrested Thursday and charged with indecent exposure. He was booked into the Escambia County Jail on a $10,000 bond.

Police responded around 5 p.m. May 4 to the Walmart on Creighton Road after a man allegedly exposed his sexual organs to at least one female shopper and one female employee, according to Mccants' arrest report.

One store patron told police she had been shopping in the apparels and accessories department and had just turned down the sunglasses aisle when she heard a man say "hey," the report states.

Kejuan Mccants

Kejuan Mccants (Photo: Courtesy of the Escambia County Jail)

The woman turned around and saw Mccants sitting on one of the store’s motorized scooters with his genitals exposed, according to the report.

She reportedly told him to leave, but he didn’t and instead scooted toward her. The report states the woman "managed to get away" and tell Walmart management about what had happened.

More: Shirtless Florida man fought a tree after being asked to keep away from students

 

More: ECSO searching for man accused of stealing car from Pensacola Catholic High

Police also interviewed a store employee who had been stocking shelves in the home goods department when the man approached on a scooter.

The employee said the man told her that she was pretty and that he liked her hair. She acknowledged his compliments, but decided to move one aisle over to stock shelves in a different spot.

But she said the man scooted after her, all while telling her how pretty she looked.

When she turned around for a second time, she said the man remained in the scooter and had his genitals exposed, the report stated.

Walmart management informed officers that they had last seen the man enter the men's restroom, the report stated.

Officers waited for Mccants to come out and detained him when he exited the bathroom. Both witnesses identified him as the man in the scooter who had exposed himself, the report stated.

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On 5/2/2019 at 7:36 AM, Zavala said:

One reason why Florida seems so abnormally crazy is their open records laws are very broad. This allows for the details of crimes to be released, more than in other states. Think about how fucked the Patriots owner is right now with a tape of him gettin' a handy from a whore.

Anyway, it's also got a lot of crazy fucks.

Would you like to review and amend this post as it pertains to Mr. Kraft?

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Also, I may legitimately laugh until I injured myself if I was ever on the road and the general blew by me followed by a pack of cop cars. 

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Would you like to review and amend this post as it pertains to Mr. Kraft?
Mr. Kraft is most assuredly NOT SCREWED when it comes to the handy incident as the cops that set up this sting were and are complete incompetent buffoons who totally botched the investigation so badly that Kraft is gonna skate.

These clowns usually catch guys that plead out of embarassment and don't fight back. When Kraft fought back all the po lice shennanigans unraveled.

Several photos of the po lice team that set up this sting..

b4ac003dac6f06d8b1ec613a39885e29.jpg75e87bf674c2fd0d7dc1d1b70f2b2ee1.jpgee23e2aa0835a14aef30ef9784626dc9.gif42812704a6e835ca34b30220b5c22af5.gifb7b761ce46a9c2a4487a6127329d3694.gif7bcd8325b7f423e0e4b89117613fcf32.gif950426ea3299cf620d56180c68e0279c.gif347728050bd2b8579c58932f238a82fa.gifa94ae33f06fb1cc1483035a9699cf9f8.gif

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White Florida gang members try to punish black member with racist tattoo but screw up spelling
Lucian “Luke” Evans, Mary Elizabeth Durham and Brandon Hayley are pictured in undated mugshots. (MARION COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE)

White Florida gang members try to punish black member with racist tattoo but screw up spelling

White Florida gang members thought they were forcibly tattooing a horrific slur on a fellow gang member’s neck, but they spelled it wrong.

The buffoons allegedly covered up a black gang member’s tattoo with the words "F--k you, Niger,” an apparent attempt at a racial slur that ended up referencing a West African country instead.

 
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Lucian Evans told cops that he and three others were trying to discipline victim Michael Hart for violating gang rules, according to the Miami Herald. Evans, 40, was booked for aggravated battery, armed robbery, second-degree larceny, fraud with a false receipt and possession of a weapon by a convicted felon.

The incident took place in Salt Springs in Marion County on Jan. 28.

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Ah, Florida...you might have once been our 27th state...but you'll always be our 24th Chromosome...

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ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. (FOX 35 ORLANDO) - A Florida man was arrested after fleeing a traffic stop and then calling 911 to brag about not being caught yet. He was found with drugs in his vehicle and continued to brag about the incident.

Deputies said that 19-year-old Nicholas Carlmann Jones was pulled over in St. Augustine after he fled from a traffic stop. Nicholas was also wanted for a warrant out of the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office.

When he was pulled over, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said that they found a jar full of marijuana, THC wax, a small bag containing an unknown white powder, and a dish containing a pink tinted crystal substance. All these narcotics were in the driver's door pocket of the vehicle. Several pipes and dishes were also found.

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On 5/30/2019 at 7:47 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

Don't take your kid to work if your job is "Burgular"

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article230379484.html

"I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my dad."

 

In other robbery news:

Shoplifter TWERKS at security cameras as she 'steals hundreds of dollars of clothing' with an accomplice from a Florida shop

Video at link.  Warning:  NSFLunch

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I was in Florida a couple of weeks ago. The local news is fucking fantastic. On a single newscast, they had a motorcyclist who was killed when his helmet was struck by lightning (with obligatory picture of the guy's electrocuted helmet), an investigative piece about how the state's road contractors were bilking the system and not finishing their jobs on time because of falsifyied weather delays and a bus driver protest because of unsafe working conditions resulting from crazy/dangerous passengers. 

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Good point, the crazy shit we get out here in Texas about Florida is just the tip of the iceberg.  What you described is just a typical Tuesday in Sarasota.  

if somebody got wise, they would develop an app that would scour the local news (newspapers & TV) all around Florida and then push the craziest content to your phone.  I've never been tempted to install the twitter or facebook apps on my phone because there is nothing of value coming through those feeds.  But I'd sure as shit check my "FlaMan" app every 15 minutes.  

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No, but whenever an elderly woman is flirting with a younger gentlemen caller in Florida from now until the end of time...she's gonna say some shit like, 

"You know, I've got a Broward VIlla wax down there."  -or- "I have the Broward Villa Strip"  Next thing you know, it's down to business in Pinellas County...

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