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mr. sunshine

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Everything posted by mr. sunshine

  1. Come on. Whits Zombie was the Slim Whitman/White Zombie mashup we were all asking for and you know it
  2. I’ve used more glue fixing my Nike running shoes than the kid who made them
  3. We had it on VHS when I was a kid so we’d just fast forward to the murder ball scenes. Never saw the whole thing
  4. I live in a massive penthouse apartment in New York City. The only thing missing was that online bachelor’s degree from Strayer University
  5. I haven’t seen a gut like that since right before John Hurt’s blew up in Alien
  6. We’ve got a bye week here so there’s almost two weeks to celebrate Chris Plonsky being fired without any distractions
  7. Tell us more about your peepee. You’ve never been so interesting
  8. Sounds like something good to watch after smoking a bowl. What can I say man I love puppies
  9. Team 1 here. Team 2 must not realize worst character and shittiest person aren’t the same thing
  10. Just like I assume anyone with his sunglasses perched on top of the flat bill of his designer cap is a major douche I’ll now apply the same assumption to anyone in a sleeveless hoodie
  11. The butterfly…uh guy? As my dear daddy always says “Thank God there’s something for everybody”
  12. Only time I ever felt the urge to write a letter to the editor. In this case a poem in the Dallas Morning News likening the whole thing to the WWF and forced sodomy. Got published too. So if you’re ever on a jury panel and a lawyer asks you if you’ve ever written a letter to the editor there’s good reason for it. Also fuck Baylor
  13. I’ll give you Obama but Lincoln was lanky and therefore probably slow to react. Washington was all about protecting the wooden teeth
  14. Not the biggest George W fan but you gotta admit the shoe thrower would have nailed the other 45 current or past presidents easily
  15. Come on. “Spoke to” and “here’s a quote from him” are such nebulous phrases
  16. When an alternative is to hang a flat screen on one of those walls and see your husband probe his girlfriend’s taint hey lots of family photos all over the place are fun
  17. I missed freshmen orientation because I smoked a joint and went to see Poltergeist. Had an opportunity to make up for it the next day but smoked a joint and went to see Poltergeist again
  18. That dork’s lady friend on the couch is pretty hot yet he’s more concerned with playing with the remote. I detect aggy
  19. Good eye. I’ll bet you’re the kind of guy who spoils the Where’s Waldo books for the kids
  20. Eastern Promises. I’ve seen it more than once and kind of dig it although the knife assault on naked Viggo makes my junk feel sympathetically vulnerable. Hey no gay jokes here
  21. True. In 2011 Michelin was really pushing the Defender. Nice sturdy sidewall, good belts, excellent tread. Nowadays it’s all about the CrossClimate series. Well la dee fucking da
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