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hookemATL

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Everything posted by hookemATL

  1. Fuck cops. Forever and ever amen.
  2. Sooooo tell me about this breed bc my wife just called and said she is adopting a 4mo vizla puppy.
  3. for last years opener I packed a ziploc full of liquid IV and made sure everyone with me hammered them throughout. This was after prehydrating with several nalgenes worth of H2O. It is a must if you are going to be out in that for extended periods (unshaded) and especially if you plan on drinking at all. Personally I eschew booze for weed things to get my rocks off on the whole, but especially for these circumstances. also a cool towel wrapped around your neck and refreshed frequently is a lifesaver.
  4. I try not to judge. Just last week my three year old dropped her bowl of snacks, furrowed her brow, and said GOD FUCKING DAMMIT in the exact same rhythm/annunciation that I do. Im just glad she hasn’t started calling cops “pigs” or saying out loud that people that don’t put their grocery carts away are “miserable cunts”.
  5. This is it? Nothing to add? coward, pussy, yankee motherfucker. Just like the flaccid tangerine cocksucker you worship. not a man. Not a Texan. Just another chud in the wall.
  6. What else do they have? Victimhood is their extra chromosome.
  7. Wife just got her Masters from Purdue and good god damn I had forgotten how fucking boring commencements are. My main wish was that there was some type of snipers nest to pick off any miserable cunt yelling dumb shit after their graduates name is called, to the point that it interrupts/covers up the next persons name being read. They did have a Muslim clergy dude (cleric?) do the nondenominational benediction/etc so I enjoyed that there were many pearls clutched by some ignorant xian fuckers who believe that to be an affront of some type.
  8. When The Revee Blakes fuckin slaps.
  9. Raptures are dinosaurs with sharp teeth and claws, you clod.
  10. My first vehicle was a 1989 Chevy Silverado long bed. It was a fucking yacht. I took that thing to campus freshman year and got real good at popping it in to spots it had no business fitting.
  11. Trying to get fired. Then a year off as commentator/watermelon seed spitting competition contestant. Then swoop in to take Deboer’s spot after the gumps go full pitchfork mode.
  12. Everyone should follow the tenets of Pre-anti-interconnectednessism, a religion I created while masturbating and doing really strong salvia mixed with weed. 1. Don’t be such a cunt all the time 2. Be nice to animals and children 3. Put your cart away at the grocery store mortal sins include putting beans in chili, saying anything critical of Willie Nelson, and using Oxford commas oh fuck
  13. Shiner and Stella are more qualified to govern than this deranged fuckface. I hope she gets the Ramsey Bolton treatment.
  14. It’s the mental illness, you see. not really. He’s just another in the cacophony of cunts that actively work to make this website worse. Changing usernames back and forth is just the last card that is played before the cycle is repeated (see derka, tobacco animal douche, etc.) It would be amusing if it wasn’t so pathetic
  15. Please leave your comment in the suggestion box and management will get to it in turn. Thank you for your contributions to the surly community. Sincerely, Mgmt
  16. Instead of fog machine for the intro, they can just blast crystalline silica dust in honor of all the dead/dying/destroyed lungs of coal miners. “Take me hommmmmeeee, country **hack cough hack spit hack cough hack** roadssssssss”
  17. Tim Brando is what happens when you anthropomorphize rectal cancer.
  18. Goddammit troph, charge ya muhfuckin’ phone.
  19. Didn’t he change his username bc it became synonymous with being a racist cunt? That’s the move of a weak minded pussy, which many racists happen to be.
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