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billybevo1978

I threw a Texas Longhorns birthday dance party

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I've been super into Texas Longhorn themed music since I heard Django Walker's Texas Longhorn anthem in 2011. Everyone I'm friends with now is very aware of this, and they tease me about it, whatever. Most of us like similar music outside of this, so it's not really a big deal. But I have to always listen to my Longhorn themed music privately. But I like to share with people, I like forming a community of bonds, whatever, you know?

So here I think, ok, I love this music, and a lot of other people do too, right? So clearly there's something there. And I know my friends love dancing. I have seen them. And I don't usually get to dance, even though it is awesome whenever I do. And my birthday is coming up, so I'm like-- I am never allowed to do stuff like this, but if it's my birthday, I can throw whatever party I want! And people will want to celebrate with me, so they'll come, and then I will show them how fun it is to dance to different Longhorns themed songs and we can have a cool moment of togetherness.

So my roommates agree, whatever, I invite people, I borrow some good speakers, I make a bumpin playlist including Eyes of Texas, March of the Longhorns, Wabash Cannonball and more. I am filled with joy as I'm making it because of how much shit is packed into this music and how I can't wait to give people the opportunity to feel the way I feel, or at least give it a shot and like have a fun little dance party where all you gotta do is move your body how you want.

The friends arrive, we Inebriate, whatever-- there's some chill music playing, I have a short little Event, and when the Event is done, I turn off some of the lights and turn on the Texas Longhorn themed dance playlist and I start dancing.

No one else does.

So I'm all, whatever, I'll roll with the punches, I thought I started off using a good, more recognizable song with Deep In the Heart of Texas but maybe they just need to take awhile to get used to it sonically, they'll join in.

They don't.

A few songs go by before I vacate the dance floor myself, to try to do the Dance-Drag Some People Over There. Everyone flat-out refuses, standing and talking instead. I had two allies, two dudes who helped bring over the speakers beforehand. They'd go around and convince people to dance too, both real likeable dudes, and nothing. People refused. People I've been friends with for years. I was getting frustrated, cuz you know, I want people to be having fun but the Literal Name that this party was marketed as was "Longhorn Themed Dance Party" or "Texas Longhorns theme dance party." They knew what this was going to be.

My next move was to try to announce to the group that we should all dance, because dancing really just needs some momentum. Once everyone is dancing your own moves don't mean anything and you're less self conscious. So I flip on the lights and remind people it is, in fact, a Longhorns themes dance party, so dance, or please leave. Lights back off, and then me and those two dudes and one of the dude's little sister and I start dancing and everyone else goes back to talking. And mind me, I put on a real banger at this point: Put Em Up by Jonathan Dror (it's a Longhorns themed rap). That song is so likeable, it's fucked up.

While I'm dancing, this other dude walks up to me and decides to hit me with the "You just can't dance to this is the thing. There's no beat." And I'm super like dude what, because the only rule that I made for this party with regards to the dance was "no bitching about the music." Those were my words. And here is this dude, BITCHING ABOUT THE MUSIC. So I tell him to leave, and he reassures me, "I was already on my way out."

So after that dude and his bad mood were gone, I was hopeful. Maybe he was like pulling down the General Comfort Level with the music. But nope. After dancing by myself for few more songs I'm ready to bail, so I shut off the music. People continue talking, but the smoke alarm starts going off and so that makes everyone leave except the two speaker dudes, and we chill for a bit, whatever. And you know, it's really bothering me. I don't know what the reason nobody danced was. I don't know whether I was just being too weird about everything so anyone would have felt uncomfortable, or if this was just a shitty group of friends who would rather drink free booze than put a bit of effort into participating in something I was excited about. Since then I've been feeling weird when I listen to any song I put on that Longhorns themed playlist.

My Advice for others on this undertaking: maybe don't. Just hope you can hear them at tailgates or in the privacy of your home.

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If it’s any consolation to you, a friend of mine sent a link to this story to our group chat earlier and we’ve all been pissing ourselves laughing at this.

The cringe is so hard that I actually woke my wife up this morning in bed from laughing out loud, and it takes a lot to get that reaction from me these days.

Edited by Free99

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Seems like a lot of effort for very little reward. Perhaps tell the story again thru interpretive dance and post the video here. 

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On 12/14/2019 at 1:19 AM, billybevo1978 said:

I've been super into Texas Longhorn themed music since I heard Django Walker's Texas Longhorn anthem in 2011. Everyone I'm friends with now is very aware of this, and they tease me about it, whatever. Most of us like similar music outside of this, so it's not really a big deal. But I have to always listen to my Longhorn themed music privately. But I like to share with people, I like forming a community of bonds, whatever, you know?

So here I think, ok, I love this music, and a lot of other people do too, right? So clearly there's something there. And I know my friends love dancing. I have seen them. And I don't usually get to dance, even though it is awesome whenever I do. And my birthday is coming up, so I'm like-- I am never allowed to do stuff like this, but if it's my birthday, I can throw whatever party I want! And people will want to celebrate with me, so they'll come, and then I will show them how fun it is to dance to different Longhorns themed songs and we can have a cool moment of togetherness.

So my roommates agree, whatever, I invite people, I borrow some good speakers, I make a bumpin playlist including Eyes of Texas, March of the Longhorns, Wabash Cannonball and more. I am filled with joy as I'm making it because of how much shit is packed into this music and how I can't wait to give people the opportunity to feel the way I feel, or at least give it a shot and like have a fun little dance party where all you gotta do is move your body how you want.

The friends arrive, we Inebriate, whatever-- there's some chill music playing, I have a short little Event, and when the Event is done, I turn off some of the lights and turn on the Texas Longhorn themed dance playlist and I start dancing.

No one else does.

So I'm all, whatever, I'll roll with the punches, I thought I started off using a good, more recognizable song with Deep In the Heart of Texas but maybe they just need to take awhile to get used to it sonically, they'll join in.

They don't.

A few songs go by before I vacate the dance floor myself, to try to do the Dance-Drag Some People Over There. Everyone flat-out refuses, standing and talking instead. I had two allies, two dudes who helped bring over the speakers beforehand. They'd go around and convince people to dance too, both real likeable dudes, and nothing. People refused. People I've been friends with for years. I was getting frustrated, cuz you know, I want people to be having fun but the Literal Name that this party was marketed as was "Longhorn Themed Dance Party" or "Texas Longhorns theme dance party." They knew what this was going to be.

My next move was to try to announce to the group that we should all dance, because dancing really just needs some momentum. Once everyone is dancing your own moves don't mean anything and you're less self conscious. So I flip on the lights and remind people it is, in fact, a Longhorns themes dance party, so dance, or please leave. Lights back off, and then me and those two dudes and one of the dude's little sister and I start dancing and everyone else goes back to talking. And mind me, I put on a real banger at this point: Put Em Up by Jonathan Dror (it's a Longhorns themed rap). That song is so likeable, it's fucked up.

While I'm dancing, this other dude walks up to me and decides to hit me with the "You just can't dance to this is the thing. There's no beat." And I'm super like dude what, because the only rule that I made for this party with regards to the dance was "no bitching about the music." Those were my words. And here is this dude, BITCHING ABOUT THE MUSIC. So I tell him to leave, and he reassures me, "I was already on my way out."

So after that dude and his bad mood were gone, I was hopeful. Maybe he was like pulling down the General Comfort Level with the music. But nope. After dancing by myself for few more songs I'm ready to bail, so I shut off the music. People continue talking, but the smoke alarm starts going off and so that makes everyone leave except the two speaker dudes, and we chill for a bit, whatever. And you know, it's really bothering me. I don't know what the reason nobody danced was. I don't know whether I was just being too weird about everything so anyone would have felt uncomfortable, or if this was just a shitty group of friends who would rather drink free booze than put a bit of effort into participating in something I was excited about. Since then I've been feeling weird when I listen to any song I put on that Longhorns themed playlist.

My Advice for others on this undertaking: maybe don't. Just hope you can hear them at tailgates or in the privacy of your home.

If we each take one paragraph of this, and expand that paragraph into an individual essay, and then another set of us take those new essays, and expand them into larger works, in less than two generations we could have a new religious text to rival the Mahabharata.

Then we could split into sects and war over interpretations. Eventually, future analogues of Frenchmen could deconstruct it all, while future analogues of Southern Baptists would force small boys to wear ill-fitting leather shoes and scratchy polyester suits, while the preacher quotes from it then gives a prayer interlaced with the word "just."

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On 12/14/2019 at 1:19 AM, billybevo1978 said:

While I'm dancing, this other dude walks up to me and decides to hit me with the "You just can't dance to this is the thing. There's no beat." And I'm super like dude what, because the only rule that I made for this party with regards to the dance was "no bitching about the music." Those were my words. And here is this dude, BITCHING ABOUT THE MUSIC. So I tell him to leave, and he reassures me, "I was already on my way out."

Smartest guy in the whole story.

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