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  1. Pretty sure your employee's "edging" players might belong in the "I'd Pee in her Butt thread" but I will read regardless.
  2. Funny thing. That forum began with the title, "I'd Pee in Her but....." It was meant to discuss why one would not pee in a particular posterior. Due to the fact everyone on Surly is willing to pee in any butt, anytime, anywhere (see Holly Rowe thread) said forum never recieved posts and never developed. Therefore, the title was changed to "I'd pee in Her Butt" and became the bastion of erectional discourse we know and love today.
  3. If I had 8 billion, I'd piss it all away making a legendary "Fishing with 4th and 5" thread in the "I'd Pee in Her Butt" forum. Sociopathy, basically.
  4. if it's a regular problem try "Can you help me with this" if you're looking for someone to shit on your chest, try "i'd pee in her butt"
  5. They do, but the coordination keeps getting lost in the shuffle because of everybody going to the "I'd Pee in Her Butt in the Sex Tent" forum. Damn degenerates.
  6. Half the avatars on Surly will be blocked! What will become of the I'd Pee in her Butt board? Damn it. I am going to finally need to buy a VPN aren't I?
  7. Tweeting about the McRib? Surly, she's on to us!! Quick, straighten this place up. Somebody change the title of I'd Pee In Her Butt to Model Trains I Covet.
  8. So the night crew has decided to turn this thread into the Maxim version of I'de Pee In Her Butt tonight. Better than a McRib I suppose, but just slightly!
  9. Stop "I'd Pee in Her Butt"-ing up the Cloak Room! Nah, just kidding. I'm loving the puns. Also, I would totally poll her caucus, if you catch my drift.
  10. You'd expect more humanity from the denizens of a forum titled "I'd Pee in Her Butt." Also, if someone ever referred to Meghan McCain's vagina as the "Hanoi Hilton" that would be pretty disrespectful. Not on my watch.
  11. K, cloak room is gonna be like I'd pee in her butt now. There's no reason for new registered users to talk politics. 100 posts and 50 rep minimum to post in CR. Existing members will be grandfathered.
  12. Is everybody happy that the I'd Pee In Her Butt stuff is bleeding into the recruiting board? It's about the same as the food arguments and whatever these last three pages were about to me. I'm fine choosing to go to the other boards rather than having them come to me.
  13. Eh, I'll wait for AOC's or Boebert's outrage before I start white knitting over a photo that is obviously fake and not them. Also, we're all on a forum with a section titled "I'd pee in her butt", so there is a certain amount of sexist/toxic male behavior that you accept and tolerate with your presence on surlyhorns.
  14. Oh man this is great. Satya doesn't need the I'd Pee in Her Butt Board. He's gonna be getting off to this post for a long time. In a year with no camps or measurements, this kind of info is gold. Gerry already proving his worth on Day One. We'll be a lot better off with him doing Texas-specific work again.
  15. So while we're watching Election Night results, your brilliant idea is to broadcast some of our previous profanity and insult-laden political posting histories while we're drinking, sitting next to our spouses watching poll results, and brimming in anger and frustration at the other side? Great fucking idea. While we're at it...throw up pics of the shit we've posted on "I'd Pee in Her Butt." This is an "Absolute Can't Miss."
  16. He didn't go the genie/box bit. It was a completely political and self-absorbed speech that had nothing to do with scouting or nurturing future leaders and men of quality. But no, he wouldn't do the genie in a box/bottle bit for another few years after he became even more completely unhinged. Wait until you see his Netflix special in 2025 (he's workshopping it out right now in smaller clubs). But yeah, less than a decade ago we'd all be pissing and moaning with one another about how stupid one another's attempts at satire are. And somebody'd get banned or whatever the fuck. And now, we all just shrug like, "Yeah, that's probably 2/3rds likely to have happened. Anywho...back to I'd Pee in Her Butt..."
  17. Correct. I did 6 trainings. In addition to what I've already mentioned, I also had to deal with one teacher that swore my picture of a lengua taco wasn't lengua because it wasn't barbacoa. I responded by stating that I just did a search for "lengua tacos" and did not check my source once the pic was found. That actually cracked up the rest of the group. I had another that went to one of the AI sites that I mentioned, but couldn't get it to work. Granted 30 other teachers were on the exact same site w/o an issue, so it had to be something with her laptop. I'm not saying this was the issue, but she had a bunch of silly stuff added to her laptop - oversized cursor that was about 3 inches in length, butterflies popping up when you press a button, etc... It's not that I don't want to help. It's just... Look around you. If 30 computers are working and your computer is not working, it's probably something with your computer. The way she spoke, it was if I sent her to a sketchy Surly link from "I'd pee in her butt".
  18. Just because I doubt he'll stand trial doesn't mean there may not be one. Apparently that I post on a message board that features a forum called "I'd pee in her butt" does not carry much weight with our Dept. of Justice (I looked into it). I could handle it, you could handle it, but 35% of this country would lose their fucking minds and take to violent outbursts. Just 'cause I don't think it comes to that doesn't mean I don't wish the piece of shit would go away forever. So my question for those in the know...could such a trial, were it to occur, be televised in what I assume would be the D.C. district court? The Hastings ruling settled that while there is a ban, it can be lifted on a case-by-case basis by the federal judge's discretion. Since those judges are already known for the DC district, I wonder if they've previously allowed them for any other trials. My god, imagine the demand for the seats in that courtroom. People would stand outside for days to get a spot. The security to get inside would take hours per person. Would be amazing to see him at the defendant's table flanked by secret service agents and a bunch of unpaid lawyers whose trial expertise usually involves construction litigation.
  19. Start new topic Forums Start new topic Sports Football 712,846 posts Urban Meyer or bust [DAY C… By Octavian Just now Basketball 114,337 posts 2020 NBA Offseason Thread … By Patrick Bateman 22 minutes ago Baseball 169,955 posts Astros 2020-21 offseason- … By Scraps 44 minutes ago Other Sports UT Sports Futbol 118,892 posts Liverpool FC: 20 for 20-21 By Bone3421 18 minutes ago 🤫$9.95🤫 Editor's Corner 219,657 posts Texas Recruiting Notes 202… By VirginiaLonghorn 12 minutes ago Gambling 10,508 posts Anyone do futures bets? By VolenteHawk 1 hour ago Entertainment Movies and TV 125,412 posts Non Netflix/Amazon Streami… By Brothahorn 6 minutes ago Music 44,939 posts The Guitar Pron Thread By AnotherUTFan Just now Hobbies Video Games Books Nerdz cars, hunting,, fishing, etc 55,965 posts 0 / 1 Cyberpunk 2077 By Viper 16 minutes ago Lulz 121,327 posts So, what did you buy onlin… By HornsOverIthaca 4 minutes ago Food and Travel naoch 117,363 posts Bourbon By NOMAAA 12 minutes ago I'd Pee In Her Butt Squirrels? 43,131 posts We used to do these thread… By tejas60 7 minutes ago News & Business Daily Texan News and Current Events with a Texas slant 248,224 posts FTC wants to break up Face… By HoustonHorn 14 minutes ago Cloak Room The largest political forum in the great state of Texas. 613,693 posts The Republican Party By Aqua Buddha 3 minutes ago 6th Street Journal Business discussions of all kinds with a slant from Texas 36,149 posts Surly #Stonks By SuperSport 12 minutes ago You Can't Sit With US Discussions only Top Contributors can take part in for all to see. 261 posts Fuck your face By elfenix 23 hours ago Other Can You Help Me With This? 43,288 posts Cord Cutters Thread By Anton Chigurh 30 minutes ago Best Buy Coupons A place to sell your things 3,117 posts A bunch of clothes for sal… By Sbbruin 1 hour ago Please do this better? Podcasts Board discussions and recommendations 28,887 posts Tree Fiddy logos By Snacks 21 hours ago Surly 1% The Oligarchs of concentrated rep. 91 posts Urban Meyer By Beau Vine Saturday at 01:23 PM Purgatory You aren't quite dead yet...jim 125 posts Rats! By Sbbruin 3 hours ago Popular Now 76 Texas opens as a 31 point favorite @ Kansas By TexasMan Started Sunday at 01:43 PM 4,992 the trump election lawsuit thread of dominance By henrygandorf Started November 6 27,546 Urban Meyer or bust [DAY CREW GET WOKE] By BurntOrange&White Started October 26, 2019 10,230 The Guitar Pron Thread By Celery Man Started March 25, 2018 Who's Online (See full list) immamac Bone3421 abuelo gringo Brothahorn TheStoicPaisano RGThorn Jerry Callo Dbeasy Valmy77 LyleLanley VRHorn Baconboy 89Horn Updawg Pop Pop Classic Rock Dozertx Cody2422 Dick Tremayne Gravy Train Flash AnotherUTFan Dutch TexasUnion TejasPedro CurlyDumps Native Horn LW Goatman La Mar Darth Tron Nick.O You don't know me TexasGolf brojangles2 ChampionshipLevelPiss DaysOff Bill Lumbergh Bevo&Pevo TexMexBuddha NAVY Lonestar4.8 GSU&UT BHM_Horn Baboontyme ApocalypseTexas HornsOverIthaca cactusflinthead El Moco Queen Bitch Biff Tannen Asstastic Jiggy-Z YoungCounty msucolt45 HOOKEM4 texasfight2025 jinx Cheeseweasel Hozz Llewelyn Moss Cousin Strawberry and 338 others Popular Contributors Week Month Year All Time 1 RGBIII 795 2 closetojumping 645 3 THUJONE 613 4 immamac 566 5 ztejas 419 Show More
  20. · 09-06-2016, 02:41 PM The Lake Worth Monster Are these comments from dirtbike fresh or are you still reaching back into the archives? I'm just wondering if this sort of entertainment is doled out daily. · 09-06-2016, 02:43 PM CooterBrown It's his first day back from vacation so he spent the entire morning telling stories. I had to fly out at noon so I'll check for more entries tomorrow. · 09-06-2016, 02:50 PM ihateowho Are there other disciples taking down the gospel or do we have to rely on only you for more words to live by? · 09-06-2016, 02:52 PM Celery Man Make sure your marriage is healthy first = motto · 09-06-2016, 03:02 PM Prepuce of Doom Quote: Originally Posted by BlueGreySky06 i've changed the voice of jimmy in my head. he is now http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vu....w529.h352.jpg Don't sully this. Every man has his own internal Jimmy. · 09-06-2016, 03:09 PM zepol87 Dude Jimmy brought it with this update. Not shit in dollars has me dying · 09-06-2016, 03:48 PM MissingInAction Quote: Originally Posted by Prepuce of Doom Don't sully this. Every man has his own internal Jimmy. There's Dirt Bike in all of us, we just have to find Him. · 09-06-2016, 03:50 PM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by BlueGreySky06 i've changed the voice of jimmy in my head. he is now http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vu....w529.h352.jpg It's better reading it as Morgan Freeman. · 09-06-2016, 03:51 PM skipperj Quote: Originally Posted by ihateowho Are there other disciples taking down the gospel or do we have to rely on only you for more words to live by? I believe he said it's a group effort and several of them update the text file with new Dirt Bike gold. · 09-06-2016, 03:53 PM gernblansten In the next couple of months, it looks like I'll be going to Nashville and Seattle. I'd like Dirt Bike's travel tips if he's ever been to either. · 09-06-2016, 03:58 PM BlueGreySky06 Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown It's better reading it as Morgan Freeman. Done Freeman. Lawrence (Office Space). Brennan & Dale (Step brothers). There are so many good voices to give Jimmy. · 09-06-2016, 07:27 PM Gardner Barnes Someone should figure out a way to get Jimmyisms read on YouTube by actual actors. Or funny or die. · 09-06-2016, 07:57 PM cactusflinthead Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "Everything was so cheap. Beers were like 20 baht. I checked and that equalled not shit in US dollars." This might be my favorite one of all. · 09-06-2016, 08:05 PM bozo_casanova Ad Hawk. It's Latin for Incredible Hulk Bad tuk-tuks is why Austin got a fingerprint ordinance · 09-07-2016, 10:26 AM Bath Salt Dealer Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "Ate some scorpions, some roaches, some crickets, and some grubs. Go with the grubs." One of the few times I'm going to have to disagree with the Wise One. Everyone knows you gotta go with the crickets. · 09-07-2016, 10:35 AM Hollywood Colt are y'all able to keep a straight face and actually get work done with dirtbike around? i honestly wouldn't be able to keep it together. · 09-07-2016, 10:37 AM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by Hollywood Colt are y'all able to keep a straight face and actually get work done with dirtbike around? i honestly wouldn't be able to keep it together. I have to believe that is why the shared text file was created. · 09-07-2016, 12:09 PM Celery Man I highly recommend everyone hiring Jimmy at least once. Make sure your team is healthy first. · 09-09-2016, 10:14 AM CooterBrown "In Bangkok there's a lot of fellas that look like some pretty girls. I'm not gay but I can understand that after some cobra wine you may not mind going there." · 09-09-2016, 11:39 AM DeftwillP Deep thoughts on sexuality from dirtbike · 09-09-2016, 02:41 PM Stilicho More powerful men than Dirtbike have fallen victim to cobra whiskey and ladyboys. · 09-09-2016, 02:52 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown It's better reading it as Morgan Freeman. I'm more an Ernest man myself, know what I mean Verne ? · 09-09-2016, 02:54 PM Chad Fuck Quote: Originally Posted by Stilicho More powerful men than Dirtbike have fallen victim to cobra whiskey and ladyboys. The voice of experience. · 09-09-2016, 04:41 PM SBBruin Quote: Originally Posted by Stilicho More powerful men than Dirtbike have fallen victim to cobra whiskey and ladyboys. (Rocko) Et tu, Stilicho? (/Rocko) · 09-09-2016, 05:11 PM gernblansten Quote: Originally Posted by Stilicho More powerful men than Dirtbike have fallen victim to cobra whiskey and ladyboys. A man more powerful than Dirtbike? Highly unlikely. · 09-09-2016, 05:35 PM Stilicho Quote: Originally Posted by SBBruin (Rocko) Et tu, Stilicho? (/Rocko) You read my mind. · 09-09-2016, 05:45 PM SBBruin Quote: Originally Posted by Hollywood Colt are y'all able to keep a straight face and actually get work done with dirtbike around? i honestly wouldn't be able to keep it together. I honestly would spend all of my time following him around hoping to catch a gem spewing forth from his majestic piehole. · 09-09-2016, 05:48 PM skipperj Quote: Originally Posted by Stilicho You read my mind. I mean, everyone was thinking it in some form or other. · 09-09-2016, 05:48 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by SBBruin I honestly would spend all of my time following him around hoping to catch a gem spewing forth from his majestic piehole. It's thrown around waaay too much, but that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him. · 09-09-2016, 10:39 PM TexasFight2025 Quote: Originally Posted by BlueGreySky06 Done Freeman. Lawrence (Office Space). Brennan & Dale (Step brothers). There are so many good voices to give Jimmy. Sam Elliott · 09-09-2016, 11:20 PM Bolverk From a technically linguistic approach, this guy's approach pretty well replicates my conception of Dirt Bike's voice. What he's really talking about with vowels is the addition of a strong diphthong for each vowel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P32vIpZ_Y9g Just add in a more grizzled but animated voice. · 09-28-2016, 01:45 PM CooterBrown "I expected Shreveport to be more like Vegas." "It smelled trifely bad in that casino." "It's not unusual to pee yourself on long car rides. That's why I carry extra underwear in the trunk." "Bought Tina two shots and a Long Island Iced Tea. She did everything I needed her to do after that." "I made money like your mom makes kids. Fat and often." Once a side note, Jimmy brought a 1 gallon bag full of M&Ms for lunch today. Has to be 5 lbs in that bag. · 09-28-2016, 01:59 PM SJS Quote: Originally Posted by Jimmy "I made money like your mom makes kids. Fat and often." Hilarious. · 09-28-2016, 03:07 PM Dutchrudder Regular or peanut? · 09-28-2016, 03:34 PM BlueGreySky06 Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "I expected Shreveport to be more like Vegas." "Bought Tina two shots and a Long Island Iced Tea. She did everything I needed her to do after that." regular casanova there. jimmy ever the ladies man. Bottom of Form · 09-28-2016, 03:39 PM 210816horn How in the fuck did I miss this thread. Shame on me · 09-28-2016, 03:58 PM zepol87 Oh yes Jimmy still bringing it. · 09-28-2016, 05:47 PM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by Dutchrudder Regular or peanut? Peanut. · 09-28-2016, 05:49 PM Chad Fuck You must spread some rep... · 09-28-2016, 05:59 PM tejas60 please tell me he ate all those fuckers. · 09-28-2016, 07:34 PM gernblansten Does Jimmy look like Jerry? · 09-28-2016, 07:47 PM Dutchrudder I just knew Dirtbike was a peanut M&M kinda guy. Thanks for confirming. · 09-28-2016, 08:17 PM Celery Man Solid round there. I both chortled and guffawed. · 09-28-2016, 09:28 PM wd40 · 09-29-2016, 12:18 AM MortimerTX Last two pages had me rolling. Holy shit · 09-29-2016, 07:15 AM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by wd40 http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ba4GU5W2Mi...ore+online.jpg That is what I picture also. But cooter stated a few pages back that he looks more like this: · 09-29-2016, 09:24 AM flaco What does Dirtbike look and sound like? How does he dress? · 09-29-2016, 10:19 AM Bath Salt Dealer Quote: Originally Posted by TexasFight2025 Sam Elliott Jerry Clower. · 09-29-2016, 12:11 PM flaco I am thinking more like Larry the Cable Guy. · 09-29-2016, 12:20 PM MissingInAction Quote: Originally Posted by flaco I am thinking more like Larry the Cable Guy. Larry is a hack, Dirt Bike is sublime genius. · 09-29-2016, 12:25 PM NorthLoop Yeah don't insult Dirt Bike like that · 09-29-2016, 01:11 PM ihateowho I imagine he looks like that one poster we used to have "duck something"'s avatar. That guy was almost Jimmy like in some of his posts. Hopefully somebody knows what I'm talking about. It may have been Ducksmith? · 09-29-2016, 02:28 PM BlueGreySky06 love when shaggy plays the "i like to imagine dirtbike like..." game. always makes me think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A0-u85aAYg · 09-29-2016, 09:08 PM mchookem Cosmo Kramer · 09-29-2016, 09:27 PM Gunsup Quote: Originally Posted by bath salt dealer jerry clower. yes! · 09-29-2016, 10:44 PM trey3216 Quote: Originally Posted by Bath Salt Dealer Jerry Clower. Arnell, Burnell, Raynell, W.L., Lynell, Odell, Udell, Marcell!! Claude, Newgene, and Clovis ... · 10-02-2016, 10:14 PM SquishMitten Fat and often. Amazing. · 10-04-2016, 10:23 AM CooterBrown "Tina's been out of town all week. Sure been lonely having no one to talk to at home. I tried to get my dogs to talk to me but I couldn't understand them." · 10-04-2016, 11:49 AM bozo_casanova Quote: Originally Posted by Bath Salt Dealer Jerry Clower. Knock him out John! · 10-19-2016, 12:24 PM CooterBrown "We're cutting down to the bare bones. Getting down to brass tactics." J: "You'd have to talk to Miss Kitty." G: "Who's Miss Kitty?" J: "If you were smarter you'd know who this man is talking about." "Perceptive is like a train..how are you gonna stop a train when...it has to be...everyone is uploading PDFs" "Her handwriting is much more pleasing to the ears" "Sometimes I close my eyes and do brain pushups." "I'm sitting in my deer blind watching some raccoons. Drinking. Vaping. Look up, no more coons. Turn around, there's a coon in there with me so I shot it with my crossbow. I'm not going to generally advise you to shoot a crossbow inside a blind but if given the choice of life or death by coon, Jimmy chooses life. Every. God. Damn. Time." · 10-19-2016, 12:32 PM Chad Fuck I'm always so happy when this thread gets bumped. · 10-19-2016, 12:35 PM capnamerca Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "I'm sitting in my deer blind watching some raccoons. Drinking. Vaping. Look up, no more coons. Turn around, there's a coon in there with me so I shot it with my crossbow. I'm not going to generally advise you to shoot a crossbow inside a blind but if given the choice of life or death by coon, Jimmy chooses life. Every. God. Damn. Time." There's a new leader in the clubhouse. Holy fuck. · 10-19-2016, 12:42 PM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by capnamerca There's a new leader in the clubhouse. Holy fuck. This is an undisputed second place and literally LOL funny. But I don't think the John Goodman/Dirthbike story can ever be topped. · 10-19-2016, 12:53 PM Rivers Quote: Originally Posted by Chad Fuck I'm always so happy when this thread gets bumped. 1234 · 10-19-2016, 12:59 PM ihateowho Quote: Originally Posted by Gardner Barnes This is an undisputed second place and literally LOL funny. But I don't think the John Goodman/Dirthbike story can ever be topped. Completely agree with this. Those two are 1A and 1B. · 10-19-2016, 01:02 PM chuychanga I picture him looking like <---- · 10-19-2016, 01:08 PM SBBruin "Getting down to brass tactics" is going to be working its way into my lexicon. · 10-19-2016, 01:11 PM Celery Man Is... Perceptive some sort of software related to PDFs, or was he talking about the one thing and then got sidetracked by PDF e-mails or something? · 10-19-2016, 01:41 PM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by Celery Man Is... Perceptive some sort of software related to PDFs, or was he talking about the one thing and then got sidetracked by PDF e-mails or something? It's a document management system. basically a black hole for all your documentation to disappear into never to been seen again. · 10-19-2016, 03:20 PM NorthLoop holy shit that coon story tears in my eyes · 10-19-2016, 03:37 PM OnBoard Drinking AND vaping ? Wondering if these were real coons in the blind ?? · 10-19-2016, 03:50 PM Walden Ponderer "It's a choice between life or death by coon." That's my new excuse for anything stupid I ever do. · 10-20-2016, 12:55 PM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by Walden Ponderer "It's a choice between life or death by coon." That's my new excuse for anything stupid I ever do. Are you a cop? · 10-31-2016, 10:00 AM CooterBrown "His talking is always way above. His words are hairy and sticky." "Americans are the fattest people in the country." "Ya'll said he was some big giant wig." "I told Tina that if she kept it up she was gonna have a come to Jimmy meeting." · 10-31-2016, 10:04 AM drew8117 Come to Jimmy meeting. Perfect. · 10-31-2016, 11:09 AM irishtexan Quote: Originally Posted by Gardner Barnes This is an undisputed second place and literally LOL funny. But I don't think the John Goodman/Dirthbike story can ever be topped. never say never when it comes to Dirt Bike. · 12-01-2016, 02:28 PM CooterBrown "My dad would scissor me. I'd be screaming and crying. In the Western Sizzler." · 12-01-2016, 02:37 PM BurntEyes Best thread bumps on shaggy. · 12-01-2016, 03:43 PM El Diablo "Two Dudes Scissoring". Feather Indian name equivalent of "Sue" for a boy in English. · 12-01-2016, 03:52 PM Wiler77 Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "My dad would scissor me. I'd be screaming and crying. In the Western Sizzler." I have to admit, I expected Dirt Bike to know the difference between Western Sizzlin' and Sizzler. · 12-30-2016, 02:15 PM CooterBrown "I'm spending New Year's Eve like I spent Old Year's Eve. In a drunking stupid killing people." "Don't make me clean your wheelhouse." "Tina asked me if she should buy the Suicide Squad movie. I told her my work compadres said she has shitty taste in movies, so no way. She did pick up Old Dogs from the dollar bin though. It's a goodie classic." · 12-30-2016, 02:45 PM Celery Man Don't make me clean your wheelhouse. Going in the phrasebook. · 01-24-2017, 09:09 AM CooterBrown "Now there's a fine line with a thick wall." "It's gotta be bad before it gets better. ...but it's always gonna be bad. Remember that." "That concludes your training, thank you for flying Jimmy Airlines. If you'll check your email, you'll see that I sent you something. Nope. I sent that to myself. Too bad for you." "It's just a bunch of bullarkey." "I don't know how I burnt my arm though. It must have been heat or something." I met this guy and his fashionation was jalapenos and geckos. "Even though my team (Bama) lost, I'm glad Crimson won the championship." "Happy new year, but is it really a new year? It feels like you just take one number off the end and add the next number." "How's the kids? You still have all of 'em?" "Fingers be damned. I got grinding to do. God gave us spares for a reason." "What's it called when you only eat animals that eat other animals? I'm that. Jimmy the Predator." · 01-24-2017, 09:28 AM OnBoard All is right with the world again. · 01-24-2017, 09:30 AM ihateowho Fingers be damned. Indeed. Bottom of Form · 01-24-2017, 10:41 AM zepol87 Jimmy the Predator · 01-24-2017, 10:57 AM MissingInAction Quote: If you'll check your email, you'll see that I sent you something. Nope. I sent that to myself. Too bad for you. I'm using this at work as much as possible. · 01-24-2017, 11:09 AM jt this is actually wonderful, and completely useful in everyday conversation: Quote: How's the kids? You still have all of 'em? .....right up until you say that to someone whose kid died, or got taken in a custody battle. · 01-24-2017, 11:33 AM Kyrie Eleison Quote: Originally Posted by MissingInAction I'm using this at work as much as possible. you're full of bullarkey. · 01-24-2017, 12:23 PM BurntEyes Just got off the phone with my manager who was being a complete twat waffle. Kinda turned my day to shit with some news I got. Then I open this thread and read: "It's gotta be bad before it gets better. ...but it's always gonna be bad. Remember that." I am much better now, but still bad. · 01-24-2017, 12:27 PM SBBruin bullarkey is now part of my lexicon. · 01-24-2017, 01:22 PM El Diablo Quote: Originally Posted by SBBruin bullarkey is now part of my lexicon. You have a lexicon named Bullarkey? · 01-24-2017, 04:28 PM nolacycling Quote: Originally Posted by jt this is actually wonderful, and completely useful in everyday conversation: .....right up until you say that to someone whose kid died, or got taken in a custody battle. yeah, be careful. in this instance Dirt Bike's fine line wall may not be as thick as he thinks. Missed ya, Dirt Bike. How did you celebrate the "new" year? · 01-24-2017, 04:43 PM trey3216 Dirt Bike have any thoughts on inauguration/women's protest/etc? Could be some gold in there. · 01-24-2017, 08:08 PM drew8117 This guy is gold. · 01-24-2017, 08:32 PM BlueGreySky06 Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "Now there's a fine line with a thick wall." "It's gotta be bad before it gets better. ...but it's always gonna be bad. Remember that." "That concludes your training, thank you for flying Jimmy Airlines. If you'll check your email, you'll see that I sent you something. Nope. I sent that to myself. Too bad for you." "It's just a bunch of bullarkey." "I don't know how I burnt my arm though. It must have been heat or something." I met this guy and his fashionation was jalapenos and geckos. "Even though my team (Bama) lost, I'm glad Crimson won the championship." "Happy new year, but is it really a new year? It feels like you just take one number off the end and add the next number." "How's the kids? You still have all of 'em?" "Fingers be damned. I got grinding to do. God gave us spares for a reason." "What's it called when you only eat animals that eat other animals? I'm that. Jimmy the Predator." just wanted to quote the latest batch of gold so it's on the new page. fuckin love jimmyisms. · 01-24-2017, 09:14 PM the idoit Fashionation. I'm not precisely certain what Jimmy was getting at but when I use it it's going to mean "fetish". · 01-25-2017, 08:30 AM Robin Masters Quote: "I like that Trump. He and me are like one brain. We think what each other is saying." They still have the Vulcan mind meld? (No CR) And how is he doing with his bought while drunk high mileage Ridgeline? Aka Ghost? · 01-25-2017, 10:05 AM SquishMitten Quote: Originally Posted by the idoit Fashionation. I'm not precisely certain what Jimmy was getting at but when I use it it's going to mean "fetish". Fascination, you idoit. · 01-25-2017, 10:06 AM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by Robin Masters They still have the Vulcan mind meld? (No CR) And how is he doing with his bought while drunk high mileage Ridgeline? Aka Ghost? He hasn't mentioned Trump since the election. I'm not sure he knows he won. He traded in the Ridgeline for a Tundra. Pretty sure he lost money on that deal. · 01-25-2017, 05:30 PM Gardner Barnes Is the tundra also called "ghost"? · 01-25-2017, 08:33 PM lurch What's in the inbox?!? · 01-25-2017, 11:09 PM Gardner Barnes Rereading the latest updates "I don't know how I burned my arm though, must have been the heat or something" has to be the end of a GREAT Jimmy story. · 02-02-2017, 07:26 AM Luke Duke Jimmy for President · 02-02-2017, 08:28 AM El Diablo I don't think it's any accident that these two quotes were put together. Quote: "How's the kids? You still have all of 'em?" "Fingers be damned. I got grinding to do. God gave us spares for a reason." There's a pattern there that reflects the deeper Dirt Bike philosophy. If there's more than one of something then there is a disposable excess. · 02-02-2017, 09:28 AM iamthepush Cooter can you control a, control v on a google doc and share? · 02-22-2017, 10:37 AM CooterBrown And I was like, whew. Crisis diverted. Tina's iPhone 7, or 5, well 6s Plus. I dibble dabbled in the wacky weed. It was in one of my quick dash, sit down, stand up meetings. If I work 34 hours today, I only have to do 8 tomorrow and 8 Friday. Jimmy: You missed a good one yesterday, buddy. Scott: I missed a good what? Jimmy: Nuthin. Nuthing at all. · 02-22-2017, 11:13 AM MissingInAction Dirt Bike Saves! · 02-22-2017, 11:34 AM BurntEyes Jimmy is a He-Man for every day folk. A master of the universe of thought. There are things Dirt Bike says that I couldn't understand, shouldn't understand. I am grateful however for his efforts to enlighten the the poor, the weak, the stupid huddling masses like myself. · 02-22-2017, 12:22 PM CooterBrown Got a prank I'm gonna do on Tina. Bought some Carolina Reaper chili powder. Gonna put it in some eggs or something. I'm also going to pour a lot of it in the milk so when she goes for it that girl is gonna have double good times. This will either be fun time or divorce time. I'm not sure which. · 02-22-2017, 12:41 PM OnBoard Dibble dabbled in the wacky weed. Oh the gold in them thar words…. I'm gonna have to dibble dabble just as a tribute….. · 02-22-2017, 01:55 PM You don't know me I will readily admit that I was ecstatic to see this thread bumped. It brightened my day! · 02-22-2017, 02:13 PM jt just in case you need some help from capt obvious, we're going to need follow up on this: Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown Got a prank I'm gonna do on Tina. Bought some Carolina Reaper chili powder. Gonna put it in some eggs or something. I'm also going to pour a lot of it in the milk so when she goes for it that girl is gonna have double good times. This will either be fun time or divorce time. I'm not sure which. · 02-22-2017, 05:10 PM CheeseWeasel Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown And I was like, whew. Crisis diverted. Oh shit. Where is it headed? · 02-22-2017, 09:10 PM DeftwillP Tina's orifices from the sound of it · 02-22-2017, 09:20 PM lurch Crisis Diverted would be a great band name · 03-06-2017, 12:02 PM CooterBrown A group text conversation today on Jimmy's day off... Jimmy: OK I'm about to step in the water and use my salsa which is a block but if I don't get the plug in the water or the salt in the water will I get shocked if I'm standing in about a foot of water. Scott: I have no clue what you are asking. What does salsa have to do with electricity? Jimmy: I plan on standing in the water using a saw zaw. Jimmy: Will I die. Tina is not with me. So I need someone to say yes or no. · 03-06-2017, 12:03 PM NorthLoop So much of me wants him to do it, and so much of me wants him to live forever. I'm conflicted. · 03-06-2017, 12:06 PM CooterBrown "I have no problem putting my life in the Lord's hands. That may be the drinking talking." · 03-06-2017, 12:10 PM You don't know me Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown A group text conversation today on Jimmy's day off... Jimmy: OK I'm about to step in the water and use my salsa which is a block but if I don't get the plug in the water or the salt in the water will I get shocked if I'm standing in about a foot of water. Scott: I have no clue what you are asking. What does salsa have to do with electricity? Jimmy: I plan on standing in the water using a saw zaw. Jimmy: Will I die. Tina is not with me. So I need someone to say yes or no. Please don't die, Jimmy. · 03-06-2017, 12:14 PM Hollywood Colt why doesn't dirtbike have has own TV show? do you think he would thrive in front of the camera? · 03-06-2017, 12:17 PM You don't know me Quote: Originally Posted by Hollywood Colt why doesn't dirtbike have has own TV show? do you think he would thrive in front of the camera? Like the Red Green Show, but with Jimmy. · 03-06-2017, 12:25 PM ihateowho Dirt Bike is that rare bird that wouldn't die after being electrocuted. He would just kind of shake it off and say "man that was crazy". · 03-06-2017, 12:40 PM Wiler77 We're going to need an update ASAP. Someone text him to see if he lived · 03-06-2017, 12:48 PM JimmyGlass I don't care what it says on the package, that is the correct spelling of saw zaw. No one pronounces it sawzall. Jimmy is right again. · 03-06-2017, 12:54 PM MissingInAction Looks like dirt bike's phone was auto-correcting him. · 03-06-2017, 01:01 PM Rimbo Jimmy may very well be the greatest person ever · 03-06-2017, 02:31 PM El Diablo Do I want to know why he has a saw zaw in the pool? Nope, I'm just rolling with it. · 03-06-2017, 02:43 PM MoreHorNsePower Holy shit...why have I missed this in all my lurking??!! I just spent the last 2 hours on this thread...and I'm already impatiently waiting for the next update... · 03-06-2017, 02:51 PM trey3216 Quote: Originally Posted by MoreHorNsePower Holy shit...why have I missed this in all my lurking??!! I just spent the last 2 hours on this thread...and I'm already impatiently waiting for the next update... This thread should be read from start to finish at least once/quarter. · 03-06-2017, 03:03 PM Celery Man can we get jimmy to do an audio commentary track for planet earth 2 · 03-06-2017, 04:13 PM Chad Fuck Quote: Originally Posted by Celery Man can we get jimmy to do an audio commentary track for planet earth 2 Man, I don't know what you're on, but I need some as well. Preferably while I watch Jimmy doing the audio commentary for Planet Earth 2. · 03-06-2017, 04:23 PM Rimbo Quote: Originally Posted by Celery Man can we get jimmy to do an audio commentary track for planet earth 2 dirtbike > randall · 03-06-2017, 04:51 PM CooterBrown J- You missed a good one yesterday, buddy. S- I missed a good what? J- Nuthin. Nuthing at all. I used to have a sweet rat tail. My mom still has it in an album somewhere. I used to have a orca-nomic keyboard. "Carry on my wayward son... who sings that? The Stones? It ain't Prince" "Speaking of Prince....Bruce Sringsteen. They're both old. Well, ones dead" · 03-06-2017, 05:23 PM iamthepush Quote: Originally Posted by ihateowho Dirt Bike is that rare bird that wouldn't die after being electrocuted. He would just kind of shake it off and say "man, those ant's got the life". fixed Bottom of Form · 03-06-2017, 08:19 PM BlueGreySky06 Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown A group text conversation today on Jimmy's day off... Jimmy: OK I'm about to step in the water and use my salsa which is a block but if I don't get the plug in the water or the salt in the water will I get shocked if I'm standing in about a foot of water. Scott: I have no clue what you are asking. What does salsa have to do with electricity? Jimmy: I plan on standing in the water using a saw zaw. Jimmy: Will I die. Tina is not with me. So I need someone to say yes or no. I don't know why but this one got me more than others in the past. Sides hurt from laughing right now. · 03-06-2017, 09:29 PM lurch Quote: Originally Posted by Rimbo Jimmy may very well be the greatest person ever There's a lot of hyperbole on the Shag. This ain't one. · 03-07-2017, 09:25 AM Chad Fuck Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown J "Carry on my wayward son... who sings that? The Stones? It ain't Prince" "Speaking of Prince....Bruce Sringsteen. They're both old. Well, ones dead" Tell me there was an air guitar, Pete Townsend-style arm windmill when this conversation took place. My imaginary Dirt Bike did it. · 03-07-2017, 10:41 AM Kyrie Eleison "saw zaw"...lol · 03-07-2017, 05:31 PM wd40 Quote: Originally Posted by Kyrie Eleison "saw zaw"...lol 'salsa', is even better, now that I know how to pronounce the second 's'. it's allsomer, you might say. · 03-09-2017, 03:06 PM MilkmanDan · 03-09-2017, 08:07 PM BlueGreySky06 Magnificent. · 03-21-2017, 11:24 AM CooterBrown "My mom's birthday just came and all I had to give her for her birthday was a shave." Jimmy - They want to go fishing 50 or 100 miles off the coast, but I don't want to go Monica - Are you afraid you'll get lost? Jimmy - No, cause I'm Cherokee. The Cherokee were not known for being a seafaring people. "What's that other song Garth Brook sings?....I went to her wedding, I had some tequila....something like that. Nope, it's Low Friends in High Places!" "You done got jimmied." · 03-21-2017, 11:29 AM BearSchlong lmfao at Cherokees not known for being seafaring people. That's awesome. · 03-21-2017, 11:32 AM jt i mean, he's not wrong about that at all. · 03-21-2017, 11:33 AM Celery Man I am, as usual, struck dumb at the profundities bestowed upon us by the Jimmy. But know, I am listening. And learning. · 03-21-2017, 11:43 AM Rex Kramer Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "My mom's birthday just came and all I had to give her for her birthday was a shave." Jimmy - They want to go fishing 50 or 100 miles off the coast, but I don't want to go Monica - Are you afraid you'll get lost? Jimmy - No, cause I'm Cherokee. The Cherokee were not known for being a seafaring people. "What's that other song Garth Brook sings?....I went to her wedding, I had some tequila....something like that. Nope, it's Low Friends in High Places!" "You done got jimmied." This guy has to be doing a bit here. Which is fine because he's still funny as shit. But it can't be unintentional. He knows he's getting a reaction out of people here. He's playing up to the audience. · 03-21-2017, 12:01 PM Gunsup I'm not even convinced he's real. I think Cooter's playing everyone. · 03-21-2017, 12:04 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by Rex Kramer This guy has to be doing a bit here. Which is fine because he's still funny as shit. But it can't be unintentional. He knows he's getting a reaction out of people here. He's playing up to the audience. Dudes, that authentic frontier gibberish ……. · 03-21-2017, 12:05 PM iamthepush Quote: Originally Posted by Gunsup I'm not even convinced he's real. I think Cooter's playing everyone. begged! nobody, i mean no one talks about Jimmy like that · 03-21-2017, 12:36 PM CooterBrown Jimmy's absolutely real and completely not self-aware. · 03-21-2017, 12:43 PM Wiler77 I'd have to re-read this thread to see if there's a better one than the Cherokee exchange. It's definitely the best in a while. · 03-21-2017, 12:45 PM Rex Kramer Quote: Originally Posted by Wiler77 I'd have to re-read this thread to see if there's a better one than the Cherokee exchange. It's definitely the best in a while. It's up there. Best one I've heard since "Jimmy chooses life" when squaring off against the raccoon in the deer blind. · 03-21-2017, 12:47 PM CheeseWeasel Quote: Originally Posted by Wiler77 I'd have to re-read this thread to see if there's a better one than the Cherokee exchange. It's definitely the best in a while. Definitely Jimmy Top 5. · 03-21-2017, 12:53 PM Captain Obvious Quote: Originally Posted by Wiler77 I'd have to re-read this thread to see if there's a better one than the Cherokee exchange. It's definitely the best in a while. Dirt bike dream and raccoon story have the top spots pretty much in hand IMO. · 03-21-2017, 12:57 PM Walden Ponderer I dunno, maybe it's recency bias, but the "salsa" "Tina ain't here, will I die or not" thing is my fave. · 03-21-2017, 01:02 PM CheeseWeasel Alright Cooter, it's on you. Link us to the top 10 Jimmy quotes/stories. · 03-21-2017, 01:24 PM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by jt i mean, he's not wrong about that at all. Jimmy is almost never wrong. That is what makes him so amazing. · 03-21-2017, 01:28 PM Gardner Barnes Ad Hawk. It's Latin for Incredible Hulk Cooter. I think Ive posted this before but Jimmyisms would be a great twitter feed and is the kind of thing that randomly gets made into a book. Kind of like "shit my dad says" . Just update as needed. Hell you have a ton here already. · 03-21-2017, 01:55 PM Rimbo Quote: Originally Posted by Gunsup I'm not even convinced he's real. I think Cooter's playing everyone. Strongest evidence that CooterBrown = Jimmy: Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown It's a document management system. basically a black hole for all your documentation to disappear into never to been seen again. Although I think it's more likely that CooterBrown's mind is slowly being taken over by Jimmy's. Like a virus. · 03-21-2017, 01:59 PM Walden Ponderer Virus, raccoon, it's all the same. · 03-21-2017, 02:01 PM Rimbo that said, i don't give a flying fuck if he's real or not; every time Cooter updates this thread, it's like suddenly finding out it's Christmas again · 03-21-2017, 02:32 PM BurntEyes Quote: Originally Posted by Rimbo that said, i don't give a flying fuck if he's real or not; every time Cooter updates this thread, it's like suddenly finding out it's Christmas again I'm certainly not going to let facts sands of time in ways of jimmy. · 03-21-2017, 02:40 PM Kyrie Eleison i've got a shit-ton of low friends in high places. · 03-21-2017, 10:18 PM MissingInAction I've about had it with all this blaspheme of our Dear Dirtbike. · 03-21-2017, 11:18 PM drew8117 Quote: Originally Posted by Rex Kramer It's up there. Best one I've heard since "Jimmy chooses life" when squaring off against the raccoon in the deer blind. Yeah my top 2 now. Quote: Originally Posted by Walden Ponderer I dunno, maybe it's recency bias, but the "salsa" "Tina ain't here, will I die or not" thing is my fave. Shit, top 3 Quote: Originally Posted by BurntEyes I'm certainly not going to let facts sands of time in ways of jimmy. Yep · 04-10-2017, 08:40 AM CooterBrown "That's not the jimmy way. Make it more sexy and that's the jimmy way." Overheard across the cubicle wall: (giggle) "That feels gooooood..." · 04-10-2017, 10:11 AM Gardner Barnes Holy.shit @ the first one. Just LOLed for real. · 04-10-2017, 10:16 AM JSB Jimmy video chatting with Tina? · 04-10-2017, 10:22 AM Walden Ponderer Quote: Originally Posted by JSB Jimmy video chatting with Tina? I'm picturing a wading pool with a jar of salsa, and some Barry White playing in the background. · 04-10-2017, 10:26 AM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by Walden Ponderer I'm picturing a wading pool with a jar of salsa, and some Barry White playing in the background. With his black Honda truck, aka Ghost, in the background. · 04-10-2017, 11:14 AM MissingInAction John Goodman looks on in approval from afar. · 04-10-2017, 01:29 PM Dutchrudder Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "My ex wife once sent me a birthday cake at work. I put it in the break room so anybody could get a piece. Later I remembered she had poisoned me before." "What these guys do..did...done...still do..." Adam: "Jimmy have you seen people fishing with drones?" Jimmy: "I seen a lot of things. (long pause) Jesus. I've seen things." Just wanted to bump this one. Such a great piece of work here. · 04-10-2017, 02:53 PM CooterBrown Jimmy recipe he just told us about. "It Ain't Butter...": Split an avocado in half, peel, and remove seed. Stuff with cheese. Put together and wrap in hamburger meat. Wrap in bacon. On the smoker for an hour. · 04-10-2017, 02:59 PM Red Five Cooter you should have a shaggy raffle, where a few lucky shagsters get to meet Dirt Bike. $20 per ticket. Proceeds cure cancer. · 04-10-2017, 03:02 PM HOOKEM4 Quote: Originally Posted by Red Five Cooter you should have a shaggy raffle, where a few lucky shagsters get to meet Dirt Bike. $20 per ticket. Proceeds cure fake cancer. fify · 04-10-2017, 03:03 PM NorthLoop Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown Jimmy recipe he just told us about. "It Ain't Butter...": Split an avocado in half, peel, and remove seed. Stuff with cheese. Put together and wrap in hamburger meat. Wrap in bacon. On the smoker for an hour. Chupacabra Eggs · 04-10-2017, 03:20 PM BlueGreySky06 Ad Hawk. It's Latin for Incredible Hulk Who's gonna be the first one to post their attempt at Jimmy's recipe in GM's? I will without doubt be trying to make that this weekend. · 04-10-2017, 03:32 PM Celery Man I mean, sounds pretty good. · 04-10-2017, 03:36 PM Dutchrudder Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown Jimmy recipe he just told us about. "It Ain't Butter...": Split an avocado in half, peel, and remove seed. Stuff with cheese. Put together and wrap in hamburger meat. Wrap in bacon. On the smoker for an hour. So you remove the avocado insides, replace the seed hole with cheese and meat, put them back together, and wrap in bacon? · 04-10-2017, 03:47 PM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by Dutchrudder So you remove the avocado insides, replace the seed hole with cheese and meat, put them back together, and wrap in bacon? Only cheese on the inside. The avocado is wrapped in meat like a scotch egg. Then bacon around the whole thing. · 04-10-2017, 03:50 PM Dutchrudder Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown Only cheese on the inside. The avocado is wrapped in meat like a scotch egg. Then bacon around the whole thing. · 04-10-2017, 03:58 PM SquishMitten No way that's anything short of delicious. I know what I'm having for dinner. · 04-10-2017, 07:10 PM trey3216 Not to take anything away from Sir Dirtbike, but I've seen that recipe on one of those Facebook auto play recipe things at lelast a dozen times. · 04-10-2017, 09:13 PM BlueGreySky06 Yeah, because they stole it from Jimmy. Bottom of Form · 04-10-2017, 09:46 PM trey3216 Quote: Originally Posted by BlueGreySky06 Yeah, because they stole it from Jimmy. I did say Sir Dirtbike · 04-10-2017, 10:17 PM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by trey3216 Not to take anything away from Sir Dirtbike, but I've seen that recipe on one of those Facebook auto play recipe things at lelast a dozen times. He did give credit to a video his wife showed him. · 04-10-2017, 10:27 PM BlueGreySky06 Quote: Originally Posted by trey3216 I did say Sir Dirtbike Touché. · 04-17-2017, 02:04 PM CooterBrown "There's sunflower seeds in there? Are they seedless?" "I'm very respectful to my mother. For everyone else... no words barred." "There's something about the butt." "The world would be a better place if everybody spent more time fishing." "Squirrel gets the nut. Jimmy gets the squirrel. Circle of life." · 04-17-2017, 02:08 PM gernblansten Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "Squirrel gets the nut. Jimmy gets the squirrel. Circle of life." Raccoon patiently bides time to get Jimmy... · 04-17-2017, 02:08 PM Rimbo "Squirrel gets the nut. Jimmy gets the squirrel. Circle of life." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLMaRV_jLT4 · 04-17-2017, 02:14 PM Walden Ponderer Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "Squirrel gets the nut. Jimmy gets the squirrel. Circle of life." · 04-17-2017, 02:18 PM ihateowho Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "There's something about the butt." New motto? · 04-17-2017, 02:39 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "The world would be a better place if everybody spent more time fishing." "Squirrel gets the nut. Jimmy gets the squirrel. Circle of life." They're all great, but the last two are priceless one for zenlike truth, the other just for it's Jimmyness.... · 04-17-2017, 02:40 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by ihateowho New motto? Hasn't that always been an unspoken universally true motto ?? · 04-25-2017, 08:49 AM CooterBrown "The can has been opened." "Nacho Doritos with French onion dip is my go to whore door for guests." · 04-25-2017, 08:55 AM Celery Man hahahahahahaha fucking whore doors · 04-25-2017, 09:02 AM BurntEyes The "can" being left non specific in that Jimmyism is magical. Worms, Kick Ass, Pandora, Cats, green beans, who knows what chaos or beauty may be found in the can, but one thing is certain. Once that can has been opened, it can not be shut. · 04-25-2017, 09:10 AM Tex Long Quote: Originally Posted by BurntEyes ... Once that can has been opened, it can not be shut. With duck tape, all things are possible. Especially if you have the Real Thing™ - the stuff those brave but way-too-trusting cocksuckers on diesel subs use... · 04-25-2017, 11:42 AM Chad Fuck Quote: Originally Posted by BurntEyes The "can" being left non specific in that Jimmyism is magical. Worms, Kick Ass, Pandora, Cats, green beans, who knows what chaos or beauty may be found in the can, but one thing is certain. Once that can has been opened, it can not be shut. Pandora's Jimmy's Can. · 04-25-2017, 12:57 PM Rimbo · 04-25-2017, 04:34 PM BurntEyes Quote: Originally Posted by Tex Long With duck tape, all things are possible. Especially if you have the Real Thing™ - the stuff those brave but way-too-trusting cocksuckers on diesel subs use... if you keep it up, your gonna have a come to BurntEyes meeting. · 04-25-2017, 04:48 PM Tex Long Quote: Originally Posted by BurntEyes if you keep it up, your gonna have a come to BurntEyes meeting. Lean towards brave, I'm guessing? · 04-25-2017, 04:51 PM llanoflash bump of thread always gets me excited. i want to go fishing with jimmy. lots frio light would be purchased for sure. · 04-25-2017, 05:05 PM Chewbacca Fucking whore door. Don't ever change Dirtbike. · 04-25-2017, 08:28 PM CooterBrown One of the staff brought in some nacho doritos and french onion dip this afternoon in honor of Jimmy bringing it up the other day. I must say, I never considered that combination before but it delivered. · 04-26-2017, 01:05 AM Rimbo so you found out if Jimmy's way was the highway or if the highway was the right way? · 04-26-2017, 09:54 AM elfenix Jimmy and the Art of Dirtbike Repair · 04-26-2017, 10:15 AM Walden Ponderer Quote: Originally Posted by elfenix Jimmy and the Art of Dirtbike Repair I still prefer Zen and the Art of Salsa, but yours would be less confusing. · 04-26-2017, 12:49 PM EtOH I really need a new signature. What Would Dirtbike Do? S- "That's like me asking you what the best rocket fuel is" J- "Ethan....L.....Feet.......100% E.Coli" · 04-28-2017, 02:24 PM huge I just got to the end of this thread after ignoring it for 18 months and I must say that I am sad that I am at the end. Your dream is over Or has it just begun? Is there anything Queensryche doesn't know? · 05-02-2017, 02:34 PM CooterBrown "Was she high up falutin'?" "I'm poor in the wallet book, but rich in life." · 05-02-2017, 04:27 PM huge he should just shit some hunnerts in his wallet book... · 05-02-2017, 11:40 PM Rimbo I love this thread. Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk · 06-23-2017, 02:15 PM CooterBrown "They would eat mada-gas-can cockroaches." J "I'm chillin' like a willin." S "what the heck is a willin?" J "How do you not know?" Jimmy "I put those DVDs in my truck and when I got home, I couldn't find them." Chief "Were you drunk?" Jimmy "No...Possibly...Yes...Yes I was drunk." "We don't go to the Georgetown HEB. We drive to Round Rock. I ain't associating with those georgetown people." "Frio now makes a craft beer called Frio 6. You hippies probably like it." Jimmy "I've been drinking that...Mike's...uh..." Lisa "Hard Lemonade?" Jimmy "Yes! I almost said Mike's Hard On." · 06-23-2017, 02:17 PM DeftwillP Always good for a jimmy update · 06-23-2017, 02:18 PM drew8117 Mikes Hard On. And not associating with them Georgetown folks. · 06-23-2017, 02:18 PM Walden Ponderer I dated a girl in college who had a mighty fine mada-gas-can. Come to think of it, she liked hippie beers, too. · 06-23-2017, 03:10 PM zepol87 No. Possibly.. Yes... Yes I was drunk has been sad by myself many many times · 06-23-2017, 03:13 PM El Diablo What's Georgetown's city motto? "At Least We're Not Pflugerville!". · 06-23-2017, 03:17 PM MissingInAction Jimmy "I've been drinking that...Mike's...uh..." Lisa "Hard Lemonade?" Jimmy "Yes! I almost said Mike's Hard On." This fucking slayed me. · 06-23-2017, 04:16 PM Bolverk Would've been better had he said Mike's mom. · 06-23-2017, 04:20 PM Prepuce of Doom This is a relief. Over a month without any activity in this thread made me fear that the odds finally caught up to Jimmy. · 06-23-2017, 04:34 PM Walden Ponderer Quote: Originally Posted by Prepuce of Doom This is a relief. Over a month without any activity in this thread made me fear that the odds finally caught up to Jimmy. If the neither the raccoon nor the sawzall in the shower got him, ain't nothin' gonna get Jimmy. · 06-23-2017, 05:39 PM CooterBrown Quote: Originally Posted by Prepuce of Doom This is a relief. Over a month without any activity in this thread made me fear that the odds finally caught up to Jimmy. Jimmy had back surgery and was out 4 weeks. No idea what he did. Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk · 06-23-2017, 06:04 PM Dutchrudder Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown Jimmy had back surgery and was out 4 weeks. No idea what he did. Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Well.... we're waiting.gif · 06-23-2017, 08:43 PM Prepuce of Doom I will wager $25 on the fact that the explanation involves a ladder, and a separate $25 on the fact that the explanation involves a tree. Give me some odds, bitches. · 06-24-2017, 08:42 AM J.R. Quote: Originally Posted by Prepuce of Doom This is a relief. Over a month without any activity in this thread made me fear that the odds finally caught up to Jimmy. If there's one thing Jimmy can beat, it's the odds. · 06-24-2017, 11:51 AM Celery Man I could see him beating scurvy and dropping some good lines about flintstones gummy vitamins · 06-25-2017, 11:32 AM cactusflinthead "The world would be a better place if everybody spent more time fishing." this cannot be said often enough · 08-01-2017, 11:13 AM CooterBrown "I don't know where that was going but it was headin somewhere it shouldn't gone." "I got a friend, he's about to do some bad stuff to some squirells." "the squirells are a major festation in his yard." "I wish I could travel as fast as a box." "They're trying to orchid-strate a christian retreat." · 08-01-2017, 11:28 AM Chad Fuck Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "I don't know where that was going but it was headin somewhere it shouldn't gone." This could be the motto for my misspent youth. · 08-01-2017, 11:56 AM DeftwillP That seems shag motto worthy · 08-02-2017, 09:04 PM drew8117 I'm sorry but he 2 squirrel ones stole it for me. Busted out laughing. · 08-07-2017, 03:28 PM BurntEyes I am angry with myself for having missed this last glorious update. I figure posting in here and getting it to the top of the thread will help atone for my sins. Quote: "I don't know where that was going but it was headin somewhere it shouldn't gone." Indeed, Sir Jimmy, indeed. Bottom of Form · 08-08-2017, 06:40 PM workswithseed Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "I wish I could travel as fast as a what box? · 08-09-2017, 10:13 AM Call dirtbike never fails to deliver. · 08-15-2017, 03:02 PM CooterBrown "Werly Harrelson peaked on the Norm show." "I don't like them yellow jackets. They just stare at me and rub their butts at me." "Chief, is that concert you're going to sit down cheerin' or stand up cheerin' ?" Jimmy - My niece is going back off to college Chief - Which college is she going to? Jimmy - The same one she was at last year · 08-15-2017, 07:40 PM BurntEyes Norm show, for the win. · 08-15-2017, 08:29 PM Gardner Barnes I perfect stand up cheerin concerts, personally. · 08-16-2017, 02:13 AM Rimbo Same one she was at last year. Well, where else would she be? · 08-16-2017, 09:00 AM MissingInAction Quote: Originally Posted by Rimbo Same one she was at last year. Well, where else would she be? That's pure dirtbike right there. · 08-16-2017, 11:26 AM Chad Fuck Ask a stupid question, get a Dirt Bike answer. · 08-16-2017, 01:52 PM Dutchrudder What is the Norm show? · 08-16-2017, 01:57 PM JimbAround Quote: Originally Posted by Dutchrudder What is the Norm show? I think we can assume he means Cheers. · 09-01-2017, 11:51 AM CooterBrown "Wayne Newton is about 110 years old. Ew. Honestly, I have caught a fish before that looks like his face. " "Tina has a Pacific way that she washes clothes." (on the phone with someone in Houston with Hurricane Harvey on the way) "Are ya'll on red alert standby?.........Are they STANDING BY? OK, well don't forget to go to sleep with your floaties on." · 09-01-2017, 12:09 PM tejas60 was waiting on the Harvey quotes! · 09-01-2017, 01:14 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown OK, well don't forget to go to sleep with your floaties on." He wasn't wrong..... · 10-23-2017, 08:34 AM CooterBrown "I've never known anyone named Chantel except for one person and that's Chantel" I was cutting the limb and I got a cholly horse. Scott-I always get the Pad See Ew. Jimmy-Pad See Ew too Noltre Dame won....isn't that the Saints? St. Louis? Lisa - "Jimmy, are you supposed to have a knife at work?" Jimmy- "Jimmy can have a knife at work" Lisa - "Why did you have a grenade at work?" Jimmy- "My grandfather died" (About 7 years ago, Jimmy brought a grenade to work to show everybody. Apparently I yelled at him and made him leave but I have no memory of this.) Man, it's good. I got a toothpick right now, just having a good-o time. · 10-23-2017, 08:53 AM Xian Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown "I've never known anyone named Chantel except for one person and that's Chantel" I was cutting the limb and I got a cholly horse. Scott-I always get the Pad See Ew. Jimmy-Pad See Ew too Noltre Dame won....isn't that the Saints? St. Louis? Lisa - "Jimmy, are you supposed to have a knife at work?" Jimmy- "Jimmy can have a knife at work" Lisa - "Why did you have a grenade at work?" Jimmy- "My grandfather died" (About 7 years ago, Jimmy brought a grenade to work to show everybody. Apparently I yelled at him and made him leave but I have no memory of this.) Man, it's good. I got a toothpick right now, just having a good-o time. I feel like someone bringing a grenade to work is something I would remeber. But then again, I don’t work with jimmy. · 10-23-2017, 09:06 AM Chad Fuck Quote: Originally Posted by Xian I feel like someone bringing a grenade to work is something I would remeber. But then again, I don’t work with jimmy. Seconded. Could be just too many Jimmyisms to keep track of: Did he bring a llama last week or hand grenade? Who can remember? · 10-23-2017, 09:19 AM Dutchrudder I can't believe Jimmy has held the same job for 7+ years. He must be good friends with HR. · 10-23-2017, 09:32 AM Kyrie Eleison Quote: Man, it's good. I got a toothpick right now, just having a good-o time. that's a man that has it all figured out... · 10-23-2017, 09:40 AM El Diablo I've never known anyone named Chantel either but there's probably a dorm at Gary Job Corps named Chantel. · 10-23-2017, 10:09 AM ihateowho I had a step cousin named Chantel when I was a kid. She was kind of a whore. · 10-23-2017, 10:19 AM Dutchrudder pics? · 10-23-2017, 10:29 AM HenryJames "Jimmy can have a knife at work" · 10-23-2017, 10:38 AM Walden Ponderer Quote: Originally Posted by ihateowho I had a step cousin named Chantel when I was a kid. She was kind of a whore. Wait... she was your step cousin too?!?! · 10-23-2017, 11:21 AM ihateowho Quote: Originally Posted by Dutchrudder pics? This was in the early 80's before pictures were so easy to process and have readily available 35 years later. Quote: Originally Posted by Walden Ponderer Wait... she was your step cousin too?!?! I never did, but a real cousin on the other side of the family banged her in my bunk bed while I was asleep on the bottom bunk. · 10-23-2017, 12:16 PM PhillyD Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown Noltre Dame won....isn't that the Saints? St. Louis? So much to process in this. You can almost hear the wheels spinning. · 10-23-2017, 03:08 PM BurntEyes Quote: Originally Posted by PhillyD So much to process in this. You can almost hear the wheels spinning. I had to read it a few times to really get all the brilliant nuance. Spoken like a man who can have a knife at work. · 10-23-2017, 03:45 PM Robin Masters Quote: Originally Posted by Dutchrudder I can't believe Jimmy has held the same job for 7+ years. He must be good friends with HR. He's probably doing some multi-year undercover boss thing, laughing at how far he can push this Jimmy character before getting fired. At the Yacht club Tedsworth> Jimmy should take a hand grenade to work, maybe that will finally get him fired. Cooters Ceo> Smashing idea ol boy, just smashing. · 10-23-2017, 04:03 PM ihateowho Well of course Jimmy has a hand grenade. · 10-23-2017, 04:04 PM BlueGreySky06 · 11-01-2017, 10:34 AM CooterBrown Jimmy: You know, China has got some crazy stuff going on. Scott: Details? Jimmy: You would think so, right? "Want me to touch that for you? I'm good at it." "Trick or tweaking is how we do it in Georgetown." "If you have to shoot someone in the back just tell the cops he was coming at you backwards. That'll get you off." · 11-01-2017, 10:41 AM EtOH I bet that would get him off. · 11-01-2017, 12:05 PM DeftwillP You would think so, right? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro · 11-01-2017, 02:15 PM Rimbo "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to CooterBrown again." Someone help a fella out here. nothing like a dirtbike update to brighten your day, eh? · 11-01-2017, 02:16 PM BurntEyes Quote: Originally Posted by Rimbo "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to CooterBrown again." Someone help a fella out here. nothing like a dirtbike update to brighten your day, eh? On it.. and agreed · 11-01-2017, 03:04 PM MissingInAction And he just got tag teamed. · 11-01-2017, 05:43 PM O1E Quote: Originally Posted by MissingInAction And he just got tag teamed. Triple teamed. Looked like there was room for more. · 11-01-2017, 06:29 PM tejas60 quadruple penet...... errrr rep! · 12-15-2017, 09:06 AM CooterBrown "My family used to get me a large description to Handyman Monthly every year. " "you can go to a historical town and have a historical lunch" The jousts must have been foam, er, not foam.....styrofoam. Alfredo- They're Nopalitos Jimmy- La Potatoes? "I think he's autistic. He always goes on these tyrants. " Jimmy "I was shinking..." Scott "Wait. Did you say 'shinking'?" Jimmy "I was shitting and thinking about life..." · 12-15-2017, 09:13 AM Kyrie Eleison The Shinker... · 12-15-2017, 09:18 AM ihateowho Shinking. That's a great word. Reminds me of Sniglets. · 12-15-2017, 09:36 AM OnBoard Will Rodgers got nuthin' on Jimmy · 12-15-2017, 09:45 AM Dutchrudder Jimmy "I was shinking..." Scott "Wait. Did you say 'shinking'?" Jimmy "I was shitting and thinking about life..." That's gold Jimmy, gold! · 12-15-2017, 02:16 PM PhillyD I've added shinking to words I need to utilize. · 12-15-2017, 04:08 PM Chad Fuck My best Shag work is done while shinking. · 12-15-2017, 04:20 PM HenryJames Quote: Originally Posted by Chad Fuck My best Shag work is done while shinking. That's called Chad Fucking. Or Chucking. · 12-15-2017, 05:12 PM burntorangebongos I kinda want to go to historical town now to see what is in this historical lunch. · 12-15-2017, 06:06 PM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by burntorangebongos I kinda want to go to historical town now to see what is in this historical lunch. I’ll bet you can get LaPotatoes there. · 12-16-2017, 10:51 AM reagan1k You'll have to take a mean Shink after a lunch like that. · 12-16-2017, 11:25 AM trey3216 When I think of Jimmy shinking, and then his comments about "I've seen things. God I've seen things", that's some Jedi temple level shit all put together · 12-17-2017, 10:03 AM iamthepush I watch ants, it looks like they're having a great time Top of Form Bottom of Form · 12-17-2017, 09:11 AM Red Five I don't mean to dispute your word, but wasn't it "I've seen the ants"? · 12-17-2017, 11:34 AM iamthepush Quote: Originally Posted by Red Five I don't mean to dispute your word, but wasn't it "I've seen the ants"? Your probably right, it was just taking a shit, thinking about Jimmy · 12-17-2017, 04:39 PM Tex Long Quote: Originally Posted by iamthepush Your probably right, it was just taking a shit, t shinking about Jimmy accuracy · 01-15-2018, 07:52 PM CooterBrown Jimmy found a helicopter. We think one of these: http://www.innovatortech.ca/ Some relative died and he found it in the barn. No one knew the guy owned it. I think he’s going to try and get it working. He asked if he could land on the top of the parking garage. He left early to to go mess with it. I’ll find out details next time I go in to the office. · 01-15-2018, 07:55 PM HenryJames Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown He asked if he could land on the top of the parking garage. If your answer was anything other than ‘absolutely,’ negged. · 01-15-2018, 08:04 PM Prepuce of Doom Quote: Originally Posted by HenryJames If your answer was anything other than ‘absolutely,’ negged. Disagree - if left to take its natural course, tinkering with a helicopter will almost certainly result in Jimmy's death, and the extinction of this thread. · 01-15-2018, 08:28 PM Celery Man This will absolutely kill him. · 01-15-2018, 08:32 PM EtOH Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Dirtbike. · 01-15-2018, 08:41 PM ihateowho I don’t know what you Debbie Downer mother fuckers are talking about. Dirtbike is indestructible. · 01-15-2018, 08:45 PM Call It’s happening.gif Go Dirtbike you glorious bastard! · 01-15-2018, 09:02 PM Chad Fuck A helicopter is thousands of pieces working in conjunction to kill its’ pilot. If he gets it operating, he’ll be dead within a week. · 01-15-2018, 09:11 PM MilkmanDan Jets take off. Rockets blast off. Helicopters beat off. Fast! Fast! · 01-15-2018, 09:23 PM skipperj Helicopters jatch off. · 01-15-2018, 09:25 PM Rimbo Jimmy is absolutely going to die now. · 01-15-2018, 09:27 PM HenryJames Jimmy is going to Apocalypse Now/Flight of the Valkyries this bitch some weekday morning while Cooter is asking someone about their TPS reports. · 01-16-2018, 03:03 AM Bath Salt Dealer Quote: Originally Posted by HenryJames Jimmy is going to Apocalypse Now/Flight Ride of the Valkyries this bitch some weekday morning while Cooter is asking someone about their TPS reports. It's like some of you mofos have NO culture. · 01-16-2018, 05:50 AM Dutchrudder I hate reality tv, but if Jimmy had a show I would watch it. · 01-16-2018, 06:51 AM BurntEyes Quote: Originally Posted by Dutchrudder I hate reality tv, but if Jimmy had a show I would watch it. Same and we'd both be better for doing so. · 01-16-2018, 07:42 AM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by ihateowho I don’t know what you Debbie Downer mother fuckers are talking about. Dirtbike is indestructible. C'mon man be real. He'll be dead before he gets 10' off the ground. I don't wanna live in a world without dirt bike. · 01-16-2018, 08:08 AM Celery Man Nah - he gets it running and hops in before learning the controls. Vanishes up like a fart in the wind/a drone piloted by markstanco's wife/the old man from Up. Reappears at the office in 15 years like https://ewedit.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/jumanji.jpg · 01-16-2018, 08:28 AM Gardner Barnes A helicopter and a case of Frio beer. What could possibly go wrong? · 01-16-2018, 09:47 AM El Diablo With John Goodman as his co-pilot there is nothing Jimmy can't do. Jimmy can fly that thing. I believe. · 01-16-2018, 09:50 AM gernblansten · 01-16-2018, 10:20 AM burntorangebongos I wonder if the relative put it there for Jimmy to find....just cuz he knew the awesomeness that would ensue. · 01-16-2018, 11:54 AM El Diablo Quote: Originally Posted by burntorangebongos I wonder if the relative put it there for Jimmy to find....just cuz he knew the awesomeness that would ensue. Life is just one big Easter egg hunt for Jimmy. · 01-16-2018, 12:12 PM hullabelew Quote: Originally Posted by Chad Fuck A helicopter is thousands of pieces working in conjunction to kill its’ pilot. If he gets it operating, he’ll be dead within a week. Exactly. Did anyone pick Dirtbike in the Shaggy Death Pool? · 01-16-2018, 01:09 PM Tyler Durden Jimmy is Murdock? · 01-16-2018, 01:16 PM llanoflash git to da choppah! · 01-16-2018, 01:38 PM JSB holy shit, how awesome. "Jimmy found a helicopter." This kind of statement is so off the wall for most people, yet in Dirtbike's case, I found myself surprised it has just now happened. God speed Dirtbike · 01-16-2018, 02:28 PM BurntEyes Quote: Originally Posted by JSB holy shit, how awesome. "Jimmy found a helicopter." This kind of statement is so off the wall for most people, yet in Dirtbike's case, I found myself surprised it has just now happened. God speed Dirtbike Yeah, the only the unusual about King Dirt bike finding a helicopter is how long it took to occur. Were this another poster on another thread regarding someone else I'd be calling bullshit, but not here. THIS IS DIRTBIKE · 01-16-2018, 02:46 PM iamthepush "Dirt bike and the whirlybird go to Austin" is going to be the best 20 part mini series ever made. · 01-16-2018, 05:58 PM Rimbo Quote: Originally Posted by iamthepush "Dirt bike and the whirlybird go to Austin" is going to be the best 20 part mini series ever made. i think that series will go about as well as this did. no way Jimmy survives 20 episodes with a helicopter · 01-16-2018, 06:57 PM iamthepush Quote: Originally Posted by Rimbo i think that series will go about as well as this did. no way Jimmy survives 20 episodes with a helicopter In my autistic mind, he doesn't find the helo until episode 16 or so · 01-16-2018, 07:17 PM Tex Long Do hot air balloons fall out of the sky easier than choppers? · 01-16-2018, 08:24 PM Chad Fuck Quote: Originally Posted by Tex Long Do hot air balloons fall out of the sky easier than choppers? Meh. I think a mess of children’s balloons lifting a lawn chair that he can shoot out with BB guns is more Jimmys style. But who’s to say? · 01-16-2018, 08:58 PM reagan1k A major crash is inevitable, but I think this deal ends with some innocent bystander capturing a video of Jimmy stumbling out of the wreckage remarkably unscathed, mumbling to himself and ignorant of the carnage he's left behind. Probably cracks open a beer he has left in his pocket and asks "Can ya'll believe that bumblefuck got all cattywampus on me that fast?" · 01-16-2018, 09:08 PM El Diablo Wish I had the photoshop skills 'cause I can totally picture Jimmy in his gyrocopter flying in front of a full moon ala "E.T.". And John Goodman hovering up in the corner in some Obi Wan ghost state telling Jimmy "You can fly, Dirt Bike! You can FLY!" · 01-19-2018, 02:31 PM CooterBrown Tina said the helicopter is a bad idea so me and my dad are selling it. Most bad ideas start as really good ideas. Scott, I was talking about you yesterday...or the day before....or the day after. He picked up a green bean and it was supposed to be al dente and it wasn't. It was al floppy. I like to watch "Who's Beating Bobby Flay". It's the worst when you open up your flour bag and it's got weasels. Yeah, it's right there next to that red "oh my gosh, my heart stopped, give me a shock" machine on the wall. My hand started getting...you know...degree burns on it. Dave: Hey Jimmy. I didn't know you wore glasses. Jimmy: Only if I want to see better. "It was a comm-nist country, started with a B.....Bratwurst?" "They were on skid roll." "is it Buffalo Wild Wings or Buffalo Wild Bills?" · 01-19-2018, 02:33 PM jt · 01-19-2018, 02:45 PM Robin Masters Happy sad. Happy Jimmy didn't die from helicopter shenanigans, but sad he didn't manage to crash the helicopter into 100 foot tall high voltage lines and and still walk away unscathed. Well minus some degree burns maybe. · 01-19-2018, 02:45 PM workswithseed That needs to be gif. Opening a bag of flour and there's just weasels · 01-19-2018, 02:46 PM Celery Man i'm stealing that line about bad ideas · 01-19-2018, 02:47 PM Tex Long Quote: Originally Posted by workswithseed That needs to be gif. Opening a bag of flour and there's just weasels Weasels ripped his Fletch? · 01-19-2018, 03:17 PM cactusflinthead al floppy. · 01-19-2018, 03:24 PM El Diablo I think it was Stephanie March that was beating Bobby Flay. · 01-19-2018, 06:43 PM Rimbo The loss of humor from Jimmy killing himself (Tina saved his life and you know it) is more than made up for by the quality in this installment. · 02-06-2018, 05:55 PM Mack Tripper Selling the helicopter is probably for the best for Dirtbike. He would have flown too close to the sun, thereby melting the helicopter and falling into the sea. And since he's Cherokee, who we now know are not seafaring people, he would have drowned. · 03-09-2018, 03:27 PM CooterBrown Jimmy: Tina has a few black eyes right now from kickboxing. Scott: How can she have more than two? He just put words in my mouth. He's a word putter mouther. "Usually I do this at the end of the week, which is Friday" "I got some serious sinuses" "Do you think a dog from England can understand a dog from Spain when he barks?" Long bajillion years ago. Sung to the tune of the Beatles classic, Come Together - "Get together........right now.........cause of me" "what were those bolts you put on your wheels called? Pogo Sticks?" (bicycle pegs) "Worstysour sauce" "It was pork butt or pork roast or whatever the beef part is, beef rump beef roast" Rose Royce That's being worked on as I don't speak. There was these two Chinese women in Japan who got their legs extended I think it's before Jonathan (Johnson) City. I thought of that saying yesterday when the sun was setting.....Sky's red......................something. · 03-09-2018, 03:31 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown Jimmy: Tina has a few black eyes right now from kickboxing. Scott: How can she have more than two? He just put words in my mouth. He's a word putter mouther. "Usually I do this at the end of the week, which is Friday" "I got some serious sinuses" "Do you think a dog from England can understand a dog from Spain when he barks?" Long bajillion years ago. Sung to the tune of the Beatles classic, Come Together - "Get together........right now.........cause of me" "what were those bolts you put on your wheels called? Pogo Sticks?" (bicycle pegs) "Worstysour sauce" "It was pork butt or pork roast or whatever the beef part is, beef rump beef roast" Rose Royce That's being worked on as I don't speak. There was these two Chinese women in Japan who got their legs extended I think it's before Jonathan (Johnson) City. I thought of that saying yesterday when the sun was setting.....Sky's red......................something. On that note, its time for my first Friday afternoon bourbon. Wow those are some gems....... Spanish and English dog languages... who knew ? · 03-09-2018, 03:56 PM Kyrie Eleison Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown There was these two Chinese women in Japan who got their legs extended Bottom of Form · 03-11-2018, 09:39 PM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by Kyrie Eleison Exactly my thought. · 03-11-2018, 09:51 PM trey3216 Quote: Originally Posted by Kyrie Eleison http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/stir.gif Must spread rep, dude. · 03-12-2018, 06:02 AM Bullneck I avoided this thread because I thought it was about pop-up ads or browser hijacking. I almost peed my pants last night. · 03-12-2018, 08:07 AM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by Bullneck I avoided this thread because I thought it was about pop-up ads or browser hijacking. I almost peed my pants last night. You've been missing out on a lot of life because of this thread. Dirtbike is the Mark Twain of village idiots. · 03-12-2018, 09:19 AM trey3216 Quote: Originally Posted by OnBoard You've been missing out on a lot of life because of this thread. Dirtbike is the Mark Twain of village idiots. I think he's the Aristotle of the Redneck Kingdom · 03-12-2018, 10:27 AM Tex Long Yeah, use whatever silly jizzum you like, but to me he's simple The Troof. · 03-12-2018, 10:44 AM Bath Salt Dealer Quote: Originally Posted by OnBoard On that note, its time for my first Friday afternoon bourbon. Wow those are some gems....... Spanish and English dog languages... who knew ? I have asked that same question before. Happy to know I have something in common with the almighty Dirt Bike. · 03-12-2018, 10:51 AM SBBruin I don't know why Rose Royce got me so good, but it did. · 03-12-2018, 11:59 AM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by Bath Salt Dealer I have asked that same question before. Happy to know I have something in common with the almighty Dirt Bike. You can feel better about yourself just knowing that fact. · 03-12-2018, 02:01 PM workswithseed I've heard cows have different moos in different countries · 03-12-2018, 02:19 PM trey3216 Quote: Originally Posted by workswithseed I've heard cows have different moos in different countries I've heard that leche is much different than milk as well. · 03-12-2018, 02:22 PM You don't know me Seeing this thread bumped always makes my giddy with excitement. · 03-16-2018, 11:15 PM cactusflinthead I would gladly give dollars to have the book of Jimmy. it's a natural born bestseller. if he spilled some beer on it and signed the stain that would make it more valuable al floppy laughed again · 03-24-2018, 12:26 PM CooterBrown Bye jimmy thread. · 03-24-2018, 12:27 PM Celery Man oh goddammit. shit, you can only export a page at a time. what's the latest on the natural light table book · 03-24-2018, 12:29 PM Gardner Barnes THIS thread needs to be saved. Cooter, do you still have access to the Jimmyisms text file? · 03-24-2018, 12:29 PM Rimbo THIS RIGHT HERE. omg seriously · 03-24-2018, 12:40 PM CooterBrown I will save it out from here tonight when I get home. I have the original text file but I changed names to protect the innocent and don’t want to do that again. · 03-24-2018, 12:41 PM OnBoard Quote: Originally Posted by CooterBrown I will save it out from here tonight when I get home. I have the original text file but I changed names to protect the innocent and don’t want to do that again. If I lose access to Jimmy I don't want a live....... seriously.... · 03-24-2018, 01:20 PM Prepuce of Doom What's all this doom and gloom about? What am I missing? · 03-24-2018, 01:22 PM tejas60 check pinned post on the football board · 03-24-2018, 01:30 PM elfenix Quote: Originally Posted by Gardner Barnes THIS thread needs to be saved. done! longcat: Spoiler! all 19 pages grabbed · 03-24-2018, 01:40 PM tejas60 You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to elfenix again. · 03-24-2018, 01:49 PM Gardner Barnes Quote: Originally Posted by tejas60 You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to elfenix again. same thanks for doing that. · 03-24-2018, 01:56 PM elfenix from a cursory once over it looks like only page 2 gives the screencap program any issues (the closely repeating pictures fuck with the de-duplication). i think i got all the jimmy content on it, though.
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